Viggo/Orlando Xmas Fic

[jule1122]

Here is the story I wrote for vo_xmas. If you haven't been reading, you should be. The are over 40 amazing stories including "Walls Never Built Or Broken" a positively perfect, long, fabulous story written for me by masian. Seriously, I couldn't be happier with my gift. I am however taking this exchange as a sign I need to avoid them in the future. Of the three times I've written in a fic exchange, this is the second time I haven't heard from the person I wrote the fic for. I guess I don't do well writing to specifications.

Title: Here In My Heart
Rating NC-17
Warnings: none
Summary: written based on soar38's request for Christmas Eve, little bit of angst, hurt/comfort, Viggo and Orlando getting together for the first time, bottom!Orli
Credit: Title taken from the amazing Erasure song of the same name.



Orlando waited nervously for Viggo to open the door. He was thankful he’d arrived while it was still daylight since he’d have no chance of finding Viggo’s ranch in the dark. Orlando looked around while he waited. It was nice here, quiet and private. The house was small, but well made, and Orlando could see the barn sitting behind it. It was cold, but with only a dusting of snow on the ground although the clouds above promised more snow in short order. He took a deep breath and relaxed. Fresh air was good. This is what he needed; somewhere peaceful to relax and think, to regroup.

What he didn’t understand is how Viggo knew this. Viggo’s invitation came out of the blue. He simply called Orlando one day and invited him to spend the holidays with him at his ranch if he was free. Coming after months of silence, the invitation was as strange as it was welcome. Hell, they hadn’t even managed to see each other when they had both been in Toronto for the film festival a few months ago. Or maybe they had avoided each other. Orlando wasn’t sure. What he did know is that Viggo’s otherwise casual invitation had most specifically not included Kate. Orlando knew Viggo disapproved of the current version of his relationship with Kate, but since that was one of the things Orlando needed to think about, he’d been happy to make the trip alone. So here he was a few days before Christmas waiting for Viggo. He planned to stay until Viggo grew tired of him or his obligations called him back after New Year’s.

Finally the door opened. “Orli, you made it!”

Viggo certainly seemed happy to see him if his enthusiastic greeting was any indication. Orlando returned his embrace just as enthusiastically. “The directions you gave me were great. Thanks for having me.”

“You’re actually doing me a favor. Henry’s with his mom this year so you’re saving me from spending the entire holiday alone. Even I get tired of my own company,” Viggo waved off Orlando’s gratitude. “Sorry it took me so long to answer the door. I was putting up the tree and couldn’t really break away without inviting disaster.”

Viggo led him through the house giving Orlando a few minutes to take it in. So far it was basically what Orlando had expected-big kitchen, cluttered dining room that he doubted anyone ever ate in, huge living room dominated by a fireplace and a very big tree. “Wow, Viggo it’s gorgeous. How the hell did you get it in here?”

“I tend to get a little carried away with the tree,” Viggo shrugged. “It’s one of the reasons I replaced the original sliding doors with those.”

Orlando peered around the tree to see Viggo was pointing at two large doors leading to the back porch. Looking out, Orlando realized the house sat on a small hill. He was gazing down at a beautiful wooded area, and if he squinted, what he thought was a stream winding through it. With the snow starting to fall, the view was stunning. “God, Viggo this is so beautiful. I don’t know how you ever manage to leave this place.”

Viggo grimaced weariness showing on his face, “I spend a lot time wondering why I’m not here it seems. You should see the colors in the summer. It’s unbelievable. Let’s go upstairs so you can get settled and get rid of those bags.” Viggo gestured at the two small bags Orlando was still carrying.

The second story was again what Orlando expected-two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a third bedroom Viggo seemed to be using as a studio. Viggo led him to a room that was simple, but comfortable. The large bed had a heavy oak frame and a matching dresser. The entertainment center was a surprise, but as far as Orlando was concerned the room’s best features were the windows overlooking the same view he admired downstairs. Orlando set his bags down and sat on the bed feeling the mattress dip beneath him. He resisted the urge to sprawl across the bed with Viggo still watching. The entire room was smaller than most of the bathrooms in the hotels he usually stayed at, but Orlando felt like he could breathe here.

“This room was Henry’s so you have him to thank for the extras,” Viggo said indicating the television. “I have some things to finish up downstairs so I’ll leave you to settle in. Feel free to take shower or rest for a while. Take your time and come down when you feel like it. Use the bathroom across the hall. I have one off my room so treat it as your own.”

“So I don’t have to worry about you bitching if I leave my towels on the floor?” Orlando asked giving Viggo his best cheeky grin.

“As long as they’re gone before you are,” Viggo joked back before turning serious. “I want you to feel at home here. It’s good to see you Orli. Really,” with a warm smile Viggo headed back downstairs.

Orlando took a few minutes to unpack. He had another bag in his car, but he didn’t want to deal with that yet. He still had time. Orlando debated between a shower and a nap. The trip had been long and either would be welcome. He decided on both starting with a shower. When he settled on the bed a short time later, Orlando found despite being relaxed from the shower he’d taken, sleep wouldn’t come. His mind refused to shut down; he couldn’t stop wondering what would come from this trip.

Clearly, he was being given a chance to renew his friendship with Viggo something he was very grateful for. In New Zealand, they’d been so close. Viggo was the one he’d admired the most, the person he learned the most from. To his surprise they had become close friends spending much of their time on and off the set together. It was the one relationship he’d expected to last beyond filming instead it was the one to fall apart. The visits stopped first, then the time between phone calls lengthened, and then the postcards and packages stopped coming. That led them to Toronto where despite being in the same city, it seemed they had no reason to see or speak to each other.

Orlando had left Toronto more depressed and defeated than he could ever remember feeling. He’d spent a lot of time thinking about what went wrong with Viggo. He knew Viggo didn’t like the way Orlando was handling his career. Or more accurately how Viggo said his career was handling him. The distance between them grew as Orlando’s life seemed to be about nothing beyond his image. Viggo was the same person he’d been in New Zealand, but Orlando no longer knew how to talk to him, how to relate to him. It became painfully clear when Orlando admitted to Viggo that his reunion with Kate had nothing to do with love and everything to do with habit, convenience, and Robin’s orders. He’d hated what he’d heard in Viggo’s voice when Viggo asked him if he knew what he was doing, if he was sure this was what he wanted. Orlando remembered rambling on about doing what he needed to before apologizing to Viggo for disappointing him. For the first time, he heard Viggo angry. “Orlando this has nothing to do with me. Until you figure that out, well I just don’t know.” They hadn’t spoken again until Viggo invited him here.

Orlando thought he finally understood what Viggo had been trying to tell him. He wanted to talk to Viggo about it. There were a lot of things he wanted to say to Viggo, but he wasn’t sure he had the courage. Wasn’t sure it would be worth the risk. He should be happy with the friendship Viggo was once again offering no matter how unexpected. Realizing that continuing to think about all this was going to make him crazy, he decided to go find his host.

He found Viggo in the kitchen setting out sandwiches and snacks. “Hey Orli, you look better.”

Orlando snorted, “I always look like shit after traveling. You don’t have to remind me.”

“I’m sure your fans would disagree,” Viggo laughed. “I thought you might be hungry so help yourself. The kettle on the stove is still hot if you want tea otherwise there’s beer and juice in the fridge.”

Orlando fixed himself a plate, grabbed a beer, and followed Viggo into the living room. They ate in silence for a while, but thankfully it was a comfortable silence. The fire felt good, and Orlando was content. His eyes kept straying to the tree so finally he asked, “Do you actually have enough ornaments for that.”

“Plenty, that’s not the biggest tree I’ve had here. Henry is worse than me when it comes to wanting a big tree.”

“I can’t imagine anything bigger fitting in here. Are we decorating tonight?”

“No, we’ll do that Christmas Eve. I like to let the tree sit for a day or two. Gives me time to get a feel for it before decorating.”

So Viggo’s artistic vision extended itself to Christmas trees, Orlando thought to himself with a smile. “Just promise me it will look like a tree when you’re done not some representation of what a tree would look like it you were stoned and hanging upside down.”

“Insult my tree Elf Boy, and you’ll end up sitting on top the tree instead of the angel.” Viggo glared at him in mock anger.

“OK, OK no making fun of the tree. I promise.” Orlando held up his hands in surrender and giggled. It felt good to hear Viggo call him Elf Boy again. “I’m just a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to Christmas decorating.”

“Fine,” Viggo sighed. “In deference to your status as a guest, no skull and crossbones ornaments and no beer cap garland. Christmas just won’t be the same.”

Orlando laughed again at the long suffering look Viggo was giving him. “You’re a cunt you know that.”

“Takes one to know one,” Viggo responded with the childish insult before launching himself at Orlando.

They mock wrestled for a while until laughing and out of breath they fell off the couch onto the floor. “Enough, I’m getting too old for this,” Viggo panted still laughing.

“So you concede, Filthy Human, to the superior strength and agility of the elves.” Orlando raised his hands in triumph.

“Just don’t get used to it.” Viggo pushed himself up off the floor. “I’m going out to take care of the horses. You want to come?”

“Sure, help me up,” Orlando held his hand out to Viggo.

“Superior strength my ass,” Viggo muttered as he hauled Orlando to his feet.

It doesn’t take long to feed the horses, but Viggo fussed. He spent time with each one speaking softly to them while rubbing their favorite spots. Orlando watched him with amused tenderness and realized how much he missed his dogs. Once he’d made the rounds, Viggo returned t Orlando’s side. “There are some decorations for the barn up in the hay loft. Let’s get them.”

“You decorate the barn?” Orlando asked as he climbed up the primitive ladder.

“Horses have Christmas spirit too. I think the boxes are in the back corner.”

They settled into a routine with Orlando sorting through boxes until he found ones marked “Garland” and “Xmas.” Viggo took the appropriate boxes and threw them to the floor below. “So is this were Henry used to sneak off with his girlfriends? That’s an American thing isn’t it, kissing in the hayloft?” Orlando asked.

“Probably,” Viggo answered. “I know I used to sneak up here to hide my girlfriends from Henry.”

“Viggo!” Orlando laughed. This was better than he imagined being here with Viggo. But he still didn’t understand it so he asked the question that had been plaguing him. “Why did you ask me here Viggo? I’m grateful and thrilled to be here, don’t get me wrong. But why?”

“I’m not sure I understand Orli,” Viggo took a step back as though to avoid the conversation. That’s when Orlando noticed how close to the edge he was. Before he could shout a warning, Viggo lost his footing and fell to the ground.

“Viggo! Oh my God, Viggo answer me,” Orlando shouted as he scrambled down the ladder. He found Viggo motionless on his back. He was tempted to shake him, but he knew better. “Viggo,” he called again, but a low moan was his only answer.

“Don’t panic, just don’t panic,” Orlando muttered to himself. His phone was in the house, and he didn’t want to leave Viggo to get it. He didn’t even know if they had 911 out here, but there had to be someone he could call. Then he remembered there was a phone in the barn. He noticed earlier, thought it was odd. It must be there for emergencies like this.

Orlando ran to the phone and saw a list of numbers taped next to. Once was listed as “Dr.” so he dialed with shaking fingers. “Hello,” Orlando jumped in as soon as the phone was answered. “This is Orlando Bloom. I’m staying with Viggo Mortensen, and he fell out of the hay loft. Is there a hospital I can take him to or an ambulance or helicopter I should call?”

“Slow down and take a breath,” a kind voice responded. “Is he awake?”

“No, he moaned a few times but that’s all,” Orlando tried to sound calm.

“Are there any obviously broken bones?”

“Not that I can see.”

“That’s good then. I’m just down the road so I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Keep him still until get there if he tries to move.”

Orlando felt the panic rising again as he hung up the phone. The doctor had been reassuring, but he was gone now. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He was alone with Viggo. What if something was really wrong? Ten minutes suddenly seemed like a very long time. He made his way back over to Viggo who seemed to be stirring. “Viggo?”

This time Viggo’s eyes opened briefly. He groaned, reached a hand to his head, and tried to open his eyes again. “Orli, what?”

“Shh, just be still,” Orlando placed a restraining hand on Viggo’s chest. “You fell, but you’ll be fine. The doctor’s on his way. Just stay there.”

Viggo opened his eyes again and blinked a few times before closing them again. “Help me up,” he asked reaching blindly for Orlando.

“No,” Orlando practically shouted batting his hand away. ‘You can’t move. The doctor said to stay still. Please stay there. He’ll be here soon, but you can’t move. Please,” Orlando heard the desperation creeping into his voice, but he couldn’t help it.

“OK, Orli no moving. Got it,” Viggo opened his eyes and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Fuck, Viggo I’m sorry. You’re hurt and you have to comfort me so I don’t go off the deep end. I’m sorry. I’ll get my shit together.” Orlando took a deep breath and straightened his spine. He would not fall apart. He could handle this.

“Hey,” Viggo said quietly taking Orlando’s hand. “It’s OK to be scared. Bad memories?”

Orlando was tempted to deny it, but he knew Viggo would see though it. "Shouldn’t matter. That’s not important now. You just stay still until the doctor gets here, and everything will be fine.”

“Yes sir,” Viggo teased. “I have to listen to you now. You’re stronger than you used to be. You might be able to take me now.”

There was something in Viggo’s eyes, in his words beyond the obvious. But before Orlando could figure it out or form a reply, the barn door opened. Orlando looked up to see a large man maybe ten years older than Viggo enter.

“Back less than a week and already causing trouble, I see.” The man crouched down next to Viggo as he spoke.

“Hello, Daniel. I was planning to see you soon under more pleasant circumstances.”

“He came to just after you hung up. I haven’t let move. That’s good, yeah?” Orlando spoke quickly his nerves returning again.

Daniel turned from the quick exam he seemed to be giving Viggo to smile at Orlando. “You must be Orlando. It’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand for Orlando to shake. “I must say I admire you for getting this stubborn old fool to listen to you.”

“I see your bedside manner hasn’t improved any.”

Orlando was tempted to yell at them to stop joking around when Daniel seemed to remember why he was there.

“All right Viggo, let’s check you out. Any back or neck pain or any tingling, numbness?”

“No, I’m a little sore, but no more than you would expect. And I wasn’t unconscious. I just had the wind knocked out of me.”

“Whatever you say.” The humorous doubt in Daniel’s voice kept Orlando from objecting to Viggo’s statement. “Let’s sit you up and see how you feel. Any nausea or dizziness?”

“I feel fine. Can we go back to the house now?” Viggo was starting to sound impatient.

Daniel sighed, “Orlando, give me a hand in helping him back to the house. He’ll be fine if not a little sore for a day or two. At most he has a mild concussion.”

“So I need to wake him up every two hours, right?” Orlando asked anxiously as they slowly made their way back to the house.

“Oh no, that’s not necessary. Just keep an eye on him, try to get him to take it easy for the next few days. Viggo, I’ll give Mark call and tell him to resume caring for the horses.”

“I’m perfectly capable. . .”

“Thank you Daniel,” Orlando cut Viggo off sharply. He knew how Viggo hated to show any weakness, but if the doctor said he needed to take it easy, Orlando would make sure that he did. He noticed Viggo heading for the living room so he gripped his arm a bit tighter and steered him to the stair. “Bed,” he said in a firm voice that had Viggo looking at him in irritation and Daniel in surprise and admiration.

Once they reached Viggo’s bedroom, Orlando excused himself on the pretext of getting Viggo something to drink. He did it partly to give Viggo some privacy and partly to give himself something to do. He busied himself making a pitcher of ice tea and placing some of the leftover sandwiches from earlier on the tray. The normal tasks gave him a chance to push aside the fear he’d felt seeing Viggo fall and then finding him motionless. He waited until he had himself completely under control before going back upstairs.

As soon as he reached the landing, he could hear voices. “This is ridiculous Daniel. I’ve had worse accidents than this before. I don’t need to rest.”

“Let the young man take care of you Viggo. Otherwise I may end up back here treating him for a heart attack or stroke. And we both know that would way out of my normal scope of practice.”

Viggo laughed, “Well since your regular patients are large dumb animals, I think I fit right in.”

“You certainly have the disposition. Stay away from heights, and I’ll see you later.”

Orlando stood there in shock as he listened to Viggo thank Daniel and say goodbye. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was going to kill Viggo as soon as he had him alone. He gave Daniel a tight smile when he exited Viggo’s room.

“Well, I’ll leave you to your patient. Good luck getting him to behave. Enjoy your holiday if I don’t see you again.” Daniel headed down the stairs, and Orlando assumed he knew the way out.

Orlando walked into Viggo’s room without knocking. He set the tray carefully on the dresser and turned to face Viggo who was sitting in a recliner. “He’s a vet. A bloody fucking vet and you didn’t tell me. What the fuck is wrong with you Viggo?”

“Orli,” Viggo began.

“No, don’t say anything. Christ, you could be seriously hurt and how would we know. You need an MRI or something. I have to call someone, or I can drive you.”

“Orlando,” Viggo interrupted again this time more forcefully. “I’m fine, and Daniel is a very good doctor. If he had any concerns at all, he would have insisted I see a regular physician. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”

“Fuck, Viggo.” Orlando sat on the bed across from Viggo burying his head in his hands. He was so tired all of the sudden. “You have to tell me if anything is wrong. Even if you think it’s nothing. Promise me that at least.”

“I promise, but only if you promise to stop worrying so much.”

Orlando nodded and gave Viggo a weak smile. He knew he was overreacting, but he couldn’t seem to help it. But he knew fussing would just annoy Viggo so he had to try and calm down.

“Good, now if you are going to force me to rest, you have to entertain me. Tell me about filming.”

They spent the next few hours catching up with each. They told each other about set mishaps and weird interviews. Viggo told Orlando about Henry’s current rebellion, and Orlando shared some of his more amusing fan encounters. They talked until their eyes were dropping. Orlando finally left for his own room after extracting another promise from Viggo to let him know if anything was wrong.

An hour later Orlando was still staring at the ceiling. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Viggo fall only this time Viggo’s body was twisted and broken when he reached him. He knew Viggo’s fall had been much less serious as his own, but knowing that didn’t seem to help. His imagination coupled with memories of the fear and pain he’d felt after his accident wouldn’t let him rest. Finally he decided it wouldn’t hurt to check on Viggo. He knocked lightly on Viggo’s door not expecting or getting an answer. He crept into the room and saw Viggo appeared to be sleeping peacefully. “Viggo,” he called softly, but there was no response. Orlando turned to leave, but instead sat in the recliner Viggo had occupied earlier. It couldn’t hurt to watch him for a few minutes.

Time passed with Orlando watching the steady rise and fall of Viggo’s chest as if hypnotized. The silence started to make Orlando nervous so confident Viggo was asleep, Orlando began to talk. “I shouldn’t have asked you why I was here. That was rude wasn’t it? Mum would be appalled. I don’t want you to think I’m not glad to be here because I am. I’ve missed you so much. I really thought we would stay friends. You make me laugh, and you make me think. You always tell me the truth, and you expect things from me. You expect me to be more than a mindless movie star. You expect me to be responsible to more than my career. You expect me to be responsible to myself, my family, my friends, and to live up to my social responsibilities. I don’t have enough people like you in my life. It hurt a lot to lose that.”

Orlando sighed and checked to make sure Viggo was still sleeping. It was much easier to talk to him this way. Maybe it was the coward’s way out, but it might help him find a way to say to all this to Viggo when he was awake. “I know most of what happened is my fault. I just didn’t expect things to happen the way they did, and I got caught up trying to be the perfect star. I wanted to make everyone happy. I thought I could justify people’s faith in me by being successful. But I confused fame with success, and I let a lot of people down. I finally understand what you tried to tell me the last time we talked. You were mad at me not because I let you down, but because I let myself down. With the distance between us, I forgot how well you know me. I forgot how I used to go and on to you about what I wanted from life and who I wanted to be.”

Even with Viggo asleep, this was hard. Orlando stood and stretched for a minute before sitting back down. “You knew more than anyone that it was my dreams and my vision I wasn’t living up to. You remembered all the things I told you even when I put them out of my mind. I need you to help me remember. I hope you will do that for me. I needed you to remind me there’s life outside the fantasy I’ve been living in for the last few years. I trust you to do that; I trust you to help me get it right this time.”

Viggo stirred, and Orlando held his breath afraid he’d been discovered. Once Viggo settled, Orlando called his name a few times and relaxed when Viggo didn’t answer. “There’s so much I want to tell you, but I think it’s too much right now. Sometimes I just want too much. You’re giving me a chance to be your friend again, and I won’t mess that up. You’re going to be stuck with me now. The rest isn’t important. I’ve been thinking about New Zealand a lot lately.”

Orlando spent the rest of the night telling Viggo his favorite memories from filming Rings. Once the sun started to rise, he headed back to his own room for a few hours of sleep. He awoke to the smell of coffee after what seemed like only minutes, but in reality had been longer than he thought. He rushed down the stairs to find Viggo in the kitchen cooking something. “Viggo, what are you doing? You’re supposed to be resting.”

“Good morning, Orli. You’re just in time for breakfast.” Viggo turned to him with a smile acting as if Orlando hadn’t spoken.

“You need to be in bed,” Orlando crossed his arms and glared at Viggo.

“I am not an invalid. I agreed to take it easy, but I am not going to spend the day in bed. I don’t think making some eggs and hash browns is overdoing it.”

Recognizing that he was overreacting again, Orlando dropped his arms and leaned against the counter. “While not unless you burn them.” Viggo smiled at his joke letting Orlando know he wasn’t upset. “How are you feeling, really?”

“Not too bad. A little stiff, but I’m actually hoping that is from the fall and not just old age taking hold.”

“You do seem to be decaying in front of my very eyes,” Orlando rolled his eyes. As far as he could tell, Viggo hadn’t aged at all since they’d first met.

Viggo responded by throwing a wet dish towel at him, and that set the tone for the day. The spent most of the day talking and joking. With the exception of a ridiculously competitive game of rummy, everything was casual and relaxed. Viggo spent a few hours in his studio while Orlando went for a walk and then started dinner. There were a few times when Viggo tried to turn the conversation to a more serious topic, but Orlando found ways to distract him. After last night’s confessions, he wasn’t ready to talk to Viggo about the mess his life had become. He caught the concern in Viggo’s eyes when Orlando changed the subject, but it something he could deal with later.

Despite the relaxing day he’d had, Orlando again found himself unable to sleep. After tossing and turn for what seemed like hours, he gave in and made his way to Viggo’s room. This time he didn’t bother knocking just called Viggo’s name a few times to assure himself he was sleeping. Orlando settled in the chair and watched Viggo for a while before speaking.

“I didn’t think I’d be here tonight. Should be able to sleep after today. It was a good day. Maybe that’s the problem; it was too good. I want days like this all the time, and I want them with you. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. Since you called me, I’ve thought about telling you. I don’t think I will. It would just cause too many problems, mess things up more than they already have been. Sometimes it’s hard though to look at you and not tell you. I used to worry about giving it away. I’d catch myself looking at you for too long or too openly, and I’d be sure it was all over my face. But you never suspected.”

Orlando stood and moved to the window. The moon was bright enough that he could see into the woods. Snow was falling again. “I fell in love with you in New Zealand. Who could blame me? I think half the cast and crew was in love with you. I’m sure you don’t believe that, but you’ve never understood how impossibly perfect you are. You’re beautiful and crazy and real. All the good things about you shine, and you just can’t miss them. I thought it was mostly a crush, something I’d get over when filming ended. But I didn’t if any thing my feelings grew stronger. When you were gone, I realized how much you brought to my life, how important you were to me. Then I’d see you at a premiere or a party, and I’d just ache with it. I’m glad you can’t hear me because I must sound completely pathetic.”

Orlando left the window and sat back down on the recliner. He brought his legs to his chest and rested his head on his knees. “This is the hard part. The stuff you’d really hate if you were awake. I told Kate before I came here that we had to stop pretending. When we broke up, we should have left it at that instead of getting sucked into Robin’s plan. But it was easy and comfortable. Kate’s a good friend, and I hope by stopping this now we can stay that way. I can’t say I ever loved her, but I tried. We were good for each other for a while, but we both knew it couldn’t last. She kept me from being lonely, and I think I did the same for her. You told me once fame was very isolating. At the time, I couldn’t understand that, but I wish I had listened harder. You know, hell everyone knows, that Kate and I were basically set up. But I never told you why I agreed or why it was so easy for me to get involved with her. I was running from you. About that time, I realized how deep my feelings for you were and also how hopeless. I was so afraid of screwing up because I couldn’t hide them. And then Kate came along, and I had something else to focus on. It didn’t change how I felt about you, but it helped me bury those feelings. It sounds awful, I know, but it wasn’t anything I planned. It just all seemed to happen at once. So that’s the long sad story of Orlando Bloom, movie star. Nothing you ever wanted to hear I’m sure.”

Laughing a little, Orlando shook his head. He couldn’t imagine Viggo’s reaction to his confession. Shock probably, maybe anger and disappointment. He wasn’t prepared to face that. “After Christmas, I’ll probably ask you for help figuring out my life. At least some of the professional parts. Nothing about love though; I won’t burden you with that. It’s enough that one of us knows about it.”

Orlando spent the rest of the night watching Viggo leaving with the sunrise. He slept late the next morning until almost noon, but he still felt tired and a bit groggy. Viggo was pulling boxes from a closet under the stairs when Orlando made his way down. “Hey Viggo, you should have woken me up earlier.”

“Good morning, Orli. You’re on vacation. No schedule, remember?”

Orlando nodded, “What are you doing?”

“Just getting the decorations out for the tree.”

“That’s right, it’s Christmas Eve today.” Orlando rubbed his eyes. The shower hadn’t woken him up as much as he’d hoped. “Let me get some caffeine, and I’ll help you.”

“I left food and coffee for you in the kitchen.” Viggo grabbed his wrist when Orlando moved toward the kitchen. “Orli, are you OK?”

“I’m fine. I just had a hard time falling asleep.” Orlando smiled hoping to ease the worry in Viggo’s eyes. “Don’t start the tree without me.”

After a light breakfast and two cups of coffee, Orlando felt a little more human. He walked out to the living and froze when he saw the small ladder standing next to the try. “Don’t even think about it,” he said without thinking.

“Orli,” Viggo turned confused until he saw Orlando glaring at the ladder. “Orlando, without the ladder we can only decorate the bottom of the tree, and that’s a little odd even for me.”

“Then you sit, and I’ll decorate,” Orlando ordered pointing to the couch.

“Orlando!”

“Viggo, if you get up on that ladder, I’ll have nightmares for weeks,” Orlando tried to keep his tone light, but he could tell by the expression on Viggo’s face he wasn’t entirely successful.

“Fine, but I get to direct,” Viggo gave in sitting down on the couch with a huff.

Orlando snorted, “You’re just looking for an excuse to boss me around.

“You’ve got it. Lights first,” Viggo shoved a large box at Orlando. “Now get to it Elf Boy; your king has spoken.”

Orlando stuck his tongue out at Viggo, but reached for the box. Despite his “director’s” demands, Orlando enjoyed decorating the tree. Not surprisingly, Viggo’s ornaments were an eclectic mix of mass produced, antique, and homemade. He told Orlando stories about some of the special ornaments which led to both of them sharing some of their favorite and strangest holiday memories. Before he knew it, Orlando was placing the angel on top the tree. He stepped back to look at the finished tree. “So what do you think?” he asked Viggo.

“Not bad, but I really miss the beer caps.” Viggo tried to sound wistful, but failed to keep the laughter from his voice.

“Cunt,” Orlando threw a stray piece of tinsel at him.

“Seriously, it’s beautiful. You did a wonderful job,” Viggo smiled warmly.

Orlando eyed the tree critically. “It still needs one thing. I’ll be right back.”

“Orli, what. . .” Orlando heard Viggo call after him as he ran to his car. He grabbed the bag he’d left there and hurried back inside.

“It’s really getting cold out. We should have a fire tonight.” Orlando returned to the tree and began unpacking his bag. He placed several wrapped packages under the tree.

“What’s all this?” Viggo asked with a puzzled frown.

“Presents Viggo. You can’t have Christmas without presents.” Orlando smiled brightly to cover up his anxiety. The gifts were a collection of things he’d picked up over the years. Sometimes when he was on location or traveling, he’d see something that reminded him of Viggo. There were some books, one the funniest t-shirts he’d ever seen, and some pieces by local artists. Even when they weren’t really talking, Orlando still couldn’t resist buying them. He’d just never expected to be able to give them to him.

“I’m afraid Santa won’t be bringing your presents till morning.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything Viggo.” He wanted to tell him just being here was enough of a gift, but he stayed silent.

“Santa, Orli. He brings presents to all good little boys. And you’ve been good haven’t you,” Viggo teased.

“I suppose it depends on your definition of good,” Orlando laughed.

“Now that the tree is finished, come sit with me.”

Orlando didn’t like how serious Viggo suddenly looked. “You know this took longer than I thought. You must be hungry. Why don’t I go make some lunch.”

“Orlando, we need to talk.”

“Did I tell you what Johnny did to Kiera the last day of filming? I don’t think I did,” Orlando said in a rush. It was a desperate and vain attempt to distract Viggo.

“Sit,” Viggo said gently but firmly.

Orlando sat down, but kept his eyes trained on the tree. “What do you want to talk about?” he asked resigned to having this conversation.

“It’s what you want to talk about Orli; what you’ve been telling me at night.”

“What do you mean?” Orlando finally faced Viggo not able to believe what Viggo seemed to be telling him.

“Orli, you know what I mean. You said you trusted me. I need you to trust me enough to tell me again.”

“But you were sleeping. I made sure. There’s no way you could have heard me.”

Viggo shrugged and smiled, “Sometimes we listen with our hearts. When it’s important enough.”

“I didn’t want you to know; I decided not to tell you,” Orlando dropped his face into his hands.

Viggo reached over and gently pulled his hands away. “I’ve always known,” he said still holding Orlando’s hands.

“But you never said anything,” Orlando said dumbly trying to absorb the shock of what he was hearing. “So why now? Why not keep pretending?”

“Because before we talk about the other things you want to talk about, before we talk about your career and your future, you need to know how I feel. You need to know how that colors what I might tell you.”

“And how do you feel?” Orlando forced himself to ask sure he wouldn’t like the answer.

“I love you, Orli. I have for a long time.”

“No, no you’re just saying that. Don’t do this Viggo,” Orlando stood up and started to back away from the couch only to have Viggo pull him back down.

“Orlando, have I ever lied to you?” Reluctantly Orlando shook his head. “I would never lie to you about something this important.” Then Viggo leaned forward and kissed him. It was a gentle kiss, but filled with such tenderness and longing that Orlando could no longer doubt what Viggo was telling him.

Orlando pulled back reluctantly, “Why didn’t you say anything? If you knew I loved you,” Orlando was surprised at how easy that was to say. “And you loved me too, why wait until now.”

Viggo looked down at their joined hands. “There are good and bad reasons for that. And there’s some truth to both of them.”

“What were the good reasons?”

“You weren’t ready. No matter what your feelings for me, you weren’t ready to deal with the realities a relationship with me would entail. I thought you needed to find your own way first.”

Orlando nodded. Even though it hurt a little to admit, Viggo was right. Even now the complications being with Viggo would cause were daunting. He couldn’t have handled it years ago. But he was stronger now, he knew what he wanted. “And the bad reasons?”

“I was afraid. I looked at the future and couldn’t see how we would work. I was afraid to let myself love you and then someday have you look at me with resentment. I didn’t want to hold you back or have you make choices simply to accommodate having me in your life. I was too afraid to take the risk of heartbreak over happiness. I couldn’t trust what was in my heart. A bit like you I think.” Viggo looked up at Orlando and gave a tentative smile.

Orlando nodded again. “I always trusted you in my heart, but in my head, I was afraid”

“And now?” Viggo asked. “I’m ready to take the risk and trust my heart. Are you?”

Orlando started to agree, but a sudden thought held him back. “Viggo, I know I told you I wanted to change things. But I can’t change everything. I can’t be. . .”

“You can’t be me.” Viggo finished for him. “Orli, I would never expect you to change everything about your life. I know there are things about fame that you enjoy. I love you, Orli. I love your openness and you enthusiasm. I love how excited you get about premiered and parties and meeting your fans. Just because I don’t share those things, doesn’t mean I want to change them in you. All I want is for your life to be what you want it to be. If there are compromises to be made, I want them to be by your choice and not forced upon you. I could see the pressure and expectations crushing you. I knew you were being forced into places you didn’t want to be. That is what angered me. Whatever you want to change and whatever you want to keep the same, I will support you. I just want you to be happy. Trust that.”

A huge smile lit up Orlando’s face. “I trust you. In my heart, with my heart, with everything.” Then he leaned forward to kiss Viggo. The kiss started gently again, but quickly deepened as Orlando finally felt free to show his passion.

“I’ve dreamed of this you know,” he said when they broke for air. “I’ve dreamed of being able to touch you, to kiss you. And now I can.”

“Tell me what you want,” Viggo demanded his voice and eyes filled with lust.

“I want so many things,” Orlando kissed Viggo again thoroughly exploring his mouth. “I want to kiss you for hours.” he said leaving Viggo’s mouth to concentrate on his neck. “I want to mark you in placed no one else will see.” He tore off Viggo’s shirt and bit hard on one of his nipples.

“God, Orli,” Viggo moaned shifting so he was stretched out on the couch with Orlando on top of him.

Orlando removed his own shirt and leaned down to kiss Viggo again letting their chests run together. “I want you to bind my hands and lick every inch of my body until I’m begging you to fuck me.” Viggo’s pants were the next thing to go. Orlando smiled and took Viggo’s erection in his hands loving the heat and softness of it. “I want to suck you,” he sighed before he moved down to lick the tip of Viggo’s cock. He sucked gently just until he could feel a bit of liquid on his tongue. “I want to give you a blowjob that will make your whole body shake until you come screaming my name.”

Standing to remove his own pants, Orlando made sure Viggo was looking into his eyes before he spoke again. “I want you to touch me in ways no one else ever has with passion and urgency, but also with tenderness and reverence. And I want to do the same for you.”

Viggo reached for him them his eyes shining with love and passion. The tangled their bodies together touching what skin they could. They kissed long deep kisses sighing words of love into each other’s mouths. When their lips finally parted, Orlando rested his head on Viggo’s chest and whispered his next request. “I want to make love with you for hours until our hearts beat together, every breath matches, and we complete each other so well we can’t tell where one of us begins and the other ends.”

“All of it, Orli. I want all of it,” Viggo whispered roughly before kissing him again.

Orlando shifted so their cocks were pressed against each other. He ground against Viggo until they were both sweaty and panting. “Right now though, Viggo, I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me hard so I know you want this as much as I do. I want you to fuck me so I know this is real.”

Viggo reached up holding Orlando’s face in his hands so Orlando had to look at him. “Come to bed with me. Come to bed with me, and let me show you how real this is.”

Orlando nodded and kissed Viggo again before they headed up the stairs. There was a moment of awkwardness when they first entered the bedroom, but Viggo erased that by sitting on the bed and pulling Orlando into his lap. “I can’t believe how good you feel in my arms, against my body.” Viggo pulled Orlando in closer so their cocks again pressed against each other. The heat of Viggo’s cock against his, the truth of desire pressed hard into him dragged a moan out of Orlando. “I can’t wait to be inside you,” Viggo continued. “I can’t wait to feel you surround me, to be a part of you.”

“Then don’t wait,” Orlando demand pulling himself off of Viggo’s lap. He stretched out across the bed on his stomach clearly offering himself to Viggo. “I want this so much. Don’t make me wait.”

He heard some rustling from what he presumed was the night stand and then felt Viggo join him on the bed. Viggo’s hands gently traced the lines of his shoulder blades. “You’re so beautiful,” he muttered before kissing the top of Orlando’s spine.

Orlando shifted restlessly as Viggo continued to explore his back with gentle hands and soft kisses. It was when Viggo rested his head in the small of Orlando’s back that Orlando finally felt a slick finger at his entrance. Viggo’s teased him with light strokes circling again and again before pressing inside. When Viggo added a second finger, Orlando pulled his knees up under him almost bucking Viggo off his back.

“Like that do you?” Viggo sounded amused.

“Not bad, but I’m sure you can do better.”

“Like this?” Viggo added a third finger stretching Orlando more aggressively. The he pushed in hard pressing his fingers against Orlando’s prostate.

“God yes!” Orlando couldn’t help pushing back into the touch. He moaned as Viggo rubbed against his prostate again and again. “Please, please,” Orlando was close to begging.

Viggo withdrew his fingers and pressed his cock against Orlando. “Are you ready?” he asked dropping a quick kiss on Orlando’s back.

“Please,” Orlando moaned again.

Viggo started to ease in, but Orlando pushed back into the thrust desperate to feel Viggo completely inside him. And then there was nothing but sensation. The rough slide of Viggo’s cock in and out of his body coupled with the burst of pleasure every time he hit Orlando’s prostate. Viggo’s fingers caressing his body, rolling and tugging his nipples. Orlando arched his back trying to deepen every thrust, to move into every touch. He could hear Viggo’s moans of pleasure, could hear him whispering words of passion and love, but he was beyond comprehension.

Then finally Orlando felt Viggo’s hands grasping his straining erection. A few strokes later, his climax hit him leaving him shaking and crying out Viggo’s name. He was only dimly aware of Viggo shuddering behind him and pressing deeper inside him. They collapsed on the bed kissing gently and lightly caressing each other’s faces while they tried to calm their breathing and come back down to earth.

“I love you,” Viggo said looking into Orlando’s eyes before kissing him.

“Mmmm, love you too,” Orlando muttered not quite up to complete sentences.

“Come on,” Viggo pulled Orlando up and guided him to the bathroom where they cleaned up between kisses.

“Now what?” Orlando asked once they were snuggled together under the covers.

“We get some rest so we can start on the rest of your list.”

Orlando laughed and slapped Viggo lightly on the shoulder. “I’m serious.”

“You tell me your dreams, tell me what you want.”

“And you’ll do the same?” Orlando asked.

Viggo nodded, “Then we figure how to make it all work. We’ll find a way Orli. I promise; that’s my Christmas gift to both of us.”

“That’s the best gift we can give each other. Merry Christmas love,” Orlando smiled and kissed Viggo. Then he settled into his embrace. Feeling safe and loved in Viggo’s arms, Orlando began to talk as he had the last two nights. This time he knew Viggo was listening.