Viggo/Orlando Challenge Fic
Oct. 28th, 2006 01:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jule1122Title: Twelfth of Never
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There is a place where souls can come together outside of time and space. This is where Viggo and Orlando meet.
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I have never met Viggo Mortensen or Orlando Bloom. I have no knowledge of their personal lives or sexual preferences. This is a work of complete fiction and no money is being made from it.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mesnica Thanks so much!
Author’s Notes: Title is from the beautiful Erasure song “Solo Luminous.” Written for the VOLA October 2006 Supernatural Fic Challenge. Challenge stories can be found at the VolaSlash Archive
Orlando was falling. Time slowed down just enough for him to realize what was happening. He had time to think that climbing out that window was probably the stupidest thing he’d ever done. He had enough time to think it was going to hurt like hell when he finally hit the ground. Orlando was wrong. He fell, and then there was nothing.
“Orlando.”
He opened his eyes when he heard an unfamiliar voice calling his name. It wasn’t the struggle he expected it to be. Orlando realized he wasn’t lying broken on the ground, and he wasn’t in a hospital. He was nowhere.
“Orlando.”
There was the voice again. Orlando looked around, but there was no one. Then suddenly someone was there. There was a man, older maybe in his forties, Orlando thought. He was handsome in a rough American sort of way with sandy hair that was short but still a bit shaggy. It was his eyes however that Orlando couldn’t look away from. They were blue and beautiful and full of things Orlando thought he should understand but didn’t.
“Orlando.”
“Who are you?” Orlando asked although he was sure he was supposed to know.
“I’m your future,” the man answered smiling a bit sheepishly.
“Viggo.” The name came to Orlando and somehow he knew it was right. “How did I know that?”
The man, Viggo, Orlando corrected himself, just shrugged. “Things are different here. It’s why I could come to you.”
“Why you? I don’t even know you.” Orlando wasn’t sure what was going on. He thought he should be scared or angry but somehow the nothingness of the place seemed to extend to his emotions.
“To show you why you need to fight.”
Everything around Orlando changed. Instead of seeing nothing, Orlando found himself watching something just far enough away for him to know he was watching and not actually there. Viggo was sitting by a lake with a fishing pole resting beside him, but most of his attention was on the notebook he was writing in. Before he had a chance to notice anymore about Viggo, he saw an older version of himself enter the picture. Since he appeared to be trying to sneak up on Viggo, Orlando took the time to study himself in the future. It was obvious several decades had passed. His hair was short and wavy with bits of grey, and he could see small lines around his eyes. He looked good though, and Orlando was relieved to know he would age gracefully.
Then Orlando watched himself throw a few pebbles at Viggo before ducking behind a tree. He seemed to be waiting for Viggo’s reaction, but Viggo ignored the interruption. From where he was watching, Orlando could see Viggo smile and knew he wasn’t as oblivious as he pretended. The older Orlando crept up behind Viggo, but just before he reached him, Viggo turned and grabbed him. He pulled Orlando into his lap, and they both laughed. Orlando couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he didn’t need to hear the words to recognize the familiarity and intimacy in the greeting. He saw the joy in Viggo’s face as he ran a hand through Orlando’s hair and pulled him forward for a kiss. As the image began to fade away, Orlando felt an odd wistfulness that made him want to reach for the vanishing couple.
Before he could say anything or ask Viggo any questions, another scene unfolded before him. This time, Orlando saw himself walking a red carpet. He didn’t look too much older than he was now. His hair was long enough to be pulled back in a short ponytail, and he was dressed in all black. But it was the reaction of the fans he was captivated by. They were screaming for him, desperately trying to get past the barrier and touch him. He watched himself smiling and signing autographs. It was something most actors dreamed of, but nothing Orlando had ever imagined for himself. Orlando turned smiling toward Viggo, wanting to share his pride and excitement, but Viggo wasn’t looking at him. He was still watching, waiting for what would happen next.
Orlando turned his attention back to what he assumed was a movie premiere. He wondered if he’d see anyone famous. Orlando saw that he was inside the theatre now. It was filled with people, but they were fuzzy and indistinct. The only person he could see clearly was Viggo. This Viggo was younger with longer hair that had a reddish tint. They moved toward each other, not paying attention to anyone around them. Orlando watched their smiles widen as they grew closer. When they met, it was restrained, not like before, but Orlando could still see the joy in their eyes. And when they reached for each other, pressing their foreheads together, the sense of intimacy was just as strong.
And then everything was gone. Everything but Viggo. Orlando didn't know what to say to him. He didn't understand this future Viggo had shown him or this connection they seemed to share. He decided to stick with what was safe. "So I'm famous in the future, yeah?"
"Fame finds you early, Orlando." Viggo smiled, but there were shadows in his eyes.
"But?" Orlando wasn't sure if Viggo was supposed to tell him bad things, but for some reason he trusted Viggo to tell him the truth.
"Fame is never what anyone expects it to be." There was a long silence while Viggo seemed to struggle with what to say. He looked away from Orlando, but continued. "There are times when fame controls your life, when you are famous for being famous. It can be frustrating and restrictive. You work through all that, Orlando, and you find your balance. You find fame and success and happiness."
Viggo was looking at Orlando again, and he seemed so sincere that Orlando wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe he could have all the things Viggo said he did, that he could be that guy he saw in the future. But it wasn't the future he thought he'd have and none of it made any sense. He started to ask Viggo a question, but he was gone. Orlando was alone again. Then there was nothing but pain and fear.
The next few days were filled with uncertainty and fear. Orlando was overwhelmed with doctors, second opinions, and medications that made it hard for him to think clearly. By the time they wheeled him into a surgery doctors considered a long shot, he was confused and too terrified to hope. He obediently started counting backwards from ten. By seven he was completely under and once again surrounded by nothing.
"Orlando."
The voice wasn't gentle this time; it was insistent. Orlando knew Viggo as soon as he saw him. "What are you doing here?" Orlando wasn't in the mood for whatever Viggo wanted to show him.
"You're not fighting.”
“Why should I? I don’t have anything to fucking fight for. The doctors don’t think this surgery will work. It’s all a bloody waste of time. My life is over.” Orlando finally said all the things he’d been thinking while an endless parade of doctors tried to pretend they had some kind of answer for him.
“Is that what you saw before Orlando? Did you see a life that was ruined?” Viggo spoke quietly, forcing Orlando to pay attention to him.
“If you already know what’s going to happen, why are you here? Why are you telling me to fight? It doesn’t matter what I do.” Orlando knew he was being difficult, but he didn’t care.
“Nothing is guaranteed. This is the future you are supposed to have. At least I think it is; it’s the one I know.”
“And if it’s not the one I want?” Orlando felt guilty when he saw the flash of hurt cross Viggo’s face. He had to ask though, too much of his life decided for him in the past. He needed to believe he had some control over his future.
Viggo shrugged and looked away. “You always have choices Orlando. This is just what can be.”
Orlando nodded. He could live with that. “But I can walk away from this. The doctors are wrong; I’ll be alright. Just like before, yeah?”
“Orlando,” Viggo sighed. “Something like this is always going to change you. You can’t expect”
“I don’t mean all that life perspective stuff,” Orlando waved away whatever Viggo had been about to say. As hard as he tried, Orlando couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life in a wheelchair. He couldn’t imagine losing control of his body. That’s what he was most afraid of. “I mean physically I’ll be fine?”
“You are able to do all things you want to.” Viggo paused, and Orlando knew there was more. He waited silently for Viggo to continue. “Your back is permanently damaged; nothing can change that. You’ll always have pain and stiffness, but you learn to live with it.”
Orlando narrowed eyes as he tried to read Viggo’s expression. There was too much room for interpretation in his answer. “Show me,” he demanded.
Like before, the image just appeared before him. He and Viggo were in a bedroom. Viggo was much younger. His hair was longer and dark. He looked like a completely different person. Orlando seemed to be only a few years older. His body was still rangy and thin, but he had some kind of odd mohawk. He watched as they got ready for bed. Once again he couldn’t hear what they were saying. When he looked at his face, Orlando noticed he look very tired, almost ill. And by the way he was moving as he undressed, he could tell he was in pain. He saw Viggo gestured toward the bed, and then Orlando saw his own back for the first time.
“Bloody hell,” he whispered. The scar was huge, long and ugly. He couldn’t help but think that as he watched this, doctors were doing this to him. They were cutting into his body, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
"This, this is what you want me to fight for?" Orlando turned in disbelief to Viggo. "A fucked up body, and from what you told me before, a career that's not much better. No thanks."
"Orlando, you're missing the point." Viggo stepped forward and reached for Orlando before dropping his arms. Orlando knew, just like he knew Viggo's name, that there was no physical component to this place. Viggo couldn't touch him no matter how much he wanted to. "It's not about how much money you make or how famous you are or even about how well your back heals. This is about your future, all of it. You need to stop focusing on the details and just feel. Can you do that?"
"It's not like I have any choice," Orlando muttered, but he turned his attention back to the bedroom.
Orlando was face down on the bed, naked. Viggo was kneeling over his lower back wearing nothing but faded sweatpants. He watched as Viggo poured some oil onto his hands and began massaging Orlando's back. He took his time using long gentle strokes and occasional deep pressure. He leaned down every now and then to nuzzle the back of Orlando's neck or drop a light kiss on his back. Orlando's face was turned to the side so he was able to watch his own expression change. He saw the pain and exhaustion fade away only to be replaced by contentment. He saw himself smile every time Viggo kissed him.
Eventually he turned underneath Viggo so they were facing each other. He said something that made Viggo laugh before he took his sweatpants off. Orlando could see they were both aroused. Viggo stretched out on top of him and they kissed while pressing their cocks against each other. Their movements and the kiss were unhurried and familiar. It was obvious they'd been together before. Orlando hands roamed Viggo's body, trying to pull him closer. They broke apart and Orlando turned onto his side while Viggo settled behind him. With fingers still slick from the massage oil, Viggo stroked Orlando's cock and entered his body. Orlando pushed back against Viggo's fingers and tried to hand him a condom that has been on the nightstand. Viggo kissed Orlando's shoulder and said something that made them both smile. Orlando imagined it had something to do with the fact that both his hands were occupied. But it wasn't long before Viggo's cock replaced his fingers in Orlando's body.
Orlando had been with men before. But it had always been mutual hand jobs between friends or a quick blowjob in the loo of some club. It had never been like this, and he couldn't tear his eyes away. He saw how beautiful they looked together, how perfectly they moved together. He watched as they kissed and whispered and touched. He looked into their eyes and found both passion and love. He watched as they climaxed; their orgasms as much about joy as they were about pleasure. He saw the tenderness and openness between them afterwards.
Before he could really think about what he had just watched, the scene changed. Orlando guessed it was several years later than what he'd just watched. Viggo's hair was very short, and he thought there was some grey in the temples, but it was hard to tell. Orlando had filled out quite a bit, and his hair was long and curly. Thankfully, the mohawk was gone. Orlando was standing in a doorway and appeared to be looking for Viggo. The moment he spotted him was obvious because Orlando's face just fell. He called Viggo's name, and Viggo looked up from the chair he was sitting in. Viggo's shoulders were slumped and it looked like he'd been crying. Orlando crossed the room swiftly and knelt in front of him. He reached for Viggo's hands and kissed them lightly before speaking. Viggo just shook his head and looked away.
Orlando had never been more frustrated with his inability to hear what they were saying. He watched as he stroked Viggo's face gently before using his hand to force Viggo to look at him. He spoke quickly, and Orlando knew he was trying to convince Viggo of something. Viggo wasn't listening; his eyes wandered aimlessly around the room. Orlando felt a fear for both of them he couldn't explain. The fear was replaced with relief when he saw Viggo begin to respond to Orlando. Viggo pulled Orlando up into his lap and cradled his face in his hands. They pressed their foreheads together like Orlando had seen them do before. Then Orlando moved to hold Viggo. Viggo's head rested against his heart; Orlando stroked his hair and back while whispering what appeared to be reassurances. Orlando was stunned by the look on his own face. It was full of anguish, but for Viggo's pain not his own. Orlando had never imagined he could feel so deeply for someone else.
"I'm sorry," Orlando said aloud to Viggo.
"For what?" Viggo asked turning his attention from the couple they'd been watching.
"For whatever I did to hurt you." It seemed silly to apologize for something he hadn't done yet, but Orlando couldn’t help it.
"Oh no, Orlando, that wasn't you. You were my comfort not my pain. Not that we never hurt each other because that's impossible to avoid when you love someone, but never intentionally and never like that."
"We love each other." It was more of a statement than a question.
Viggo nodded, "Very much."
Orlando looked at Viggo and suddenly he understood. The man standing in front of him wasn't a stranger whose name he somehow knew. This was Viggo, the man who loved him. The man Orlando would someday love. He wasn't watching scenes from a movie, but pieces of his own life, a life he found himself wanting more and more.
Several images flashed before Orlando, changing too quickly for him to completely process them. He saw himself with Viggo. They were laughing, kissing, arguing, walking together, and sleeping side by side. "Will I know you?" Orlando asked when the images faded away.
Viggo shook his head. "You won't remember this."
"Then how will I find you?"
"Maybe I'll find you," Viggo answered smiling. "Be strong, Orlando. Fight. I'll be waiting. I promise."
It was a nurse’s voice Orlando heard next, telling him the surgery was over and had gone well. He woke with a new determination to not let the accident define his life. Orlando surprised everyone, including his doctors, with his recovery.
The first time Orlando saw Viggo he was dressed as Aragorn. He was impressed, but that was all. When he finally met Viggo in person, Orlando was a little nervous. He'd heard about Viggo's first fight scenes from the Hobbits, and their version was a bit intimidating. He was surprised at how soft spoken and nice he seemed to be. Orlando had never seen any of Viggo's movies so he didn't expect to recognize him. Then he looked into Viggo's eyes. There was something safe and familiar about them. Orlando never wanted to look away.
Viggo was so focused on Aragorn he didn't realize he was in trouble until it was too late. As he floated down the river, he thought of Arwen and how it had hurt to let her go, but at least she would be spared his death. He struggled with the sense of failure that came from not completing the quest. By the time Viggo realized he was no longer floating, but was being sucked into the river, there was nothing he could do. There was a brief moment of panic as he struggled against the rapids, then nothing.
"Giving in so easy, Old Man? I expected more of you."
Viggo opened his eyes and searched for the familiar voice. "Orlando?" he asked confused. The person he saw was Orlando, but not the Orlando he knew. This Orlando had a full head of hair and was younger than his costar.
"Although I imagine you were so busy being Aragorn, saving your own life never crossed your mind."
Viggo blushed at being caught. He had been so deep in Aragorn's head, he'd more than half expected to wake up in Middle Earth. "What are you doing here? I mean why?"
"Why me?" Orlando cut him off. "You're wondering what I'm doing here instead of maybe Henry. You and Henry are close. I've never known a father and son with a better relationship, but he grows up and has a life of his own. I'm always there."
Viggo couldn't help raising a questioning eyebrow. He was very attracted to Orlando, and he knew Orlando was interested in him. But this was the reason he never let their relationship go beyond friendship. No matter what he thought he saw when Orlando looked at him, he couldn't believe the energy and youth and enthusiasm that drew him to Orlando wouldn’t eventually pull them apart.
"Yeah, that's part of why I'm here." Orlando's smile disappeared, and he looked at Viggo seriously. "Once you showed me a future I didn't even know I wanted. Now I'm going to show you the future you won't let yourself believe in."
"I don't understand. You're saying I came to you like this?"
"It's in the past for me and in the future for you. You'll make yourself crazy trying to make sense of it so don’t bother. Just take a piece of advice you gave me. Don't try and analyze this, just feel."
Viggo nodded. He had no idea what was happening, but he wanted to experience it. He wanted to explore this connection he and Orlando seemed to share. Just as Orlando finished speaking, an image unfolded before Viggo. It was like watching a movie only what he saw wasn't limited by a screen. He saw an older version of himself at what looked like an art gallery. He winced a little at the amount of grey in his hair, but otherwise he looked good. Viggo couldn't see the pieces on display clearly, but he knew they were his. He was talking to a man Viggo didn't recognize, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. Viggo knew himself well enough to recognize when he was being polite. He couldn't imagine what Orlando was trying to show him with this.
Then his face lit up. Viggo's heart began to race just watching his own reaction. Polite interest was now warmth and affection. He saw happiness and love in his eyes. That's when Orlando came in. He was still thin, but both his face and body had filled out. His hair just brushed the back of his neck and was more wavy than curly. Orlando smiled when he spotted Viggo, and the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth were barely visible. He was beautiful. Orlando made his way to Viggo's side and joined in the conversation. As they talked, Orlando casually reached for Viggo's hand and laced their fingers together. Just watching them together, Viggo could feel the intimacy between them. It was more than he'd ever imagined.
"Is it always this easy?" he asked.
Orlando laughed. "No, I don't think easy is ever a word I would use to describe our relationship. Wonderful, complicated, passionate, maybe frustrating, but not easy. You, much more than me, always understood the realities of two actors having a relationship and careers. We spend a lot of time hiding and protecting our privacy. There are years when we spend more time trying to find ways to see each other than we actually spend together. It's anything but easy."
"Then what did you show me?" Viggo couldn't believe Orlando was here to show him what he couldn't have, but what he saw and what Orlando said didn't add up.
"When you're fifty-two you have a heart attack. It changes everything, especially me. Things are different after that. And as hard as it often is for us to believe, over time society's attitude does change. Not completely and not everyone's, but enough that it's not the scandal it would have been."
"Is it worth it?" Viggo knew it was an impossible question. Orlando could only answer for himself; to expect anything more was unfair. But Viggo had been hurt too many times before. He knew how it felt to fight to make something work when it would be better for everyone to let go. He wouldn't do that again.
“Absolutely. What we have is worth every second of pain and inconvenience.” The look on Orlando’s face left no doubt to his sincerity.
Viggo was fascinated by Orlando. Sometimes, especially after a long day of shooting, Orlando seemed impossibly young, and this Orlando was even younger. But his eyes told of wisdom and knowledge Viggo didn’t have yet. Viggo wanted the stories behind that knowledge. At the same time, he couldn’t help but trust what he saw there. “Will we meet like this again?”
“I bloody well hope not,” Orlando said clearly surprised by the question. “How many more near death experiences do you want us to have? No, don’t answer that. There’s not much time, and there is more I want you to see.”
Viggo saw himself sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. He looked much the same as he did now so he knew it wasn’t too far into the future. Orlando was next to him. This was the Orlando he saw every day. The one he longed for, but kept at a slight distance. Orlando was sitting against the headboard propped up by a stack of pillows just looking at Viggo. His expression was so open and completely unguarded it took Viggo’s breath away. No one had ever looked at him with so much love and tenderness. Not even Chris in the beginning when things were good, or after Henry was born and their love for him seemed to make their own love new again. Viggo shifted in his sleep, turning until his face was pressed against Orlando’s thigh. Orlando smiled down at him and then wiggled around until he was lying next to Viggo. He rained light kisses along Viggo’s neck and jaw until he reached his mouth. The next kiss started gentle, but deepened as Viggo began to stir. Viggo thought it had to be the most wonderful way to wake up.
Viggo was sleeping again, but this time it was in a hospital bed. There was an oxygen tube in his nose and a monitor next to his bed. He knew enough about medicine to know his condition was stable. Orlando was in a chair pulled up next to the bed, but he’d fallen asleep with his upper body stretched out over Viggo’s stomach. His sleep was uneasy and restless, and Viggo could clearly see the worry and pain on his face. The knuckles of the hand that clutched Viggo’s were white. He saw a nurse come in and check his chart and monitor without waking either of them. It was obvious Orlando had been there a while and had no intention of leaving.
He turned to Orlando to offer him reassurances that he would be alright even though Orlando would know that better than he did. But Orlando wasn’t there. Before Viggo could question his absence, he was back.
“Sorry, it’s just I can’t watch that,” he gestured to where the image had been. “It’s still too hard. It hurts too much to think of losing you.”
“I’m sorry.” It was inadequate, but Viggo felt he had to say it.
“No, don’t be. It’s something you needed to see.” Orlando shoved his hands in his pockets. “Damn, this no touching thing is harder than I thought it would be. You have no idea how much I want to kiss you. A hug would be amazing right now. Never mind,” Orlando shook his head. “We’re almost done.”
Then a barrage of images began, each one shifting quickly and seamlessly into the next. They were all of him with Orlando. The two of them walking together in the woods, laughing, standing together at Henry’s wedding, running with their dogs.
“Will I remember this?” he asked Orlando when it was over.
“No, not really. You might dream about it; I do sometimes. There are things that will seem familiar, almost like déjà vu. There will be a sense of rightness when we are together. It’s already there, but you’ll feel it more strongly when you stop fighting it.”
Viggo nodded. It wasn’t the answer he wanted, but it was what he expected.
“Goodbye love, I’ll see you soon.” Orlando’s smile was a little sad and wistful, and then he was gone.
Viggo gasped for air as he somehow made his way to the surface. People were shouting, and no one seemed to know what happened. Viggo spent the rest of the day reassuring everyone that he was fine and making sure they got the shots they needed. He didn’t want to repeat this shoot if he could help. Through it all he couldn’t escape the feeling that he needed to see Orlando.
Orlando was in their trailer when he got back. As soon as Viggo saw him, he knew he was making the right decision. The accident at the river was the kick in the ass he’d needed. He wasn’t going to give up a chance for happiness because he was afraid of what might happen.
“Hey, how’d it go today?” Orlando looked up from the script he was reading and gave Viggo a welcoming smile.
“Other than almost drowning, it went pretty well,” Viggo tried to make light of what had happened.
Orlando was out of his chair and in front of Viggo in a second. “What the fuck? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, it’s not important.” Before Orlando could ask any more questions, Viggo framed his face with his hands and leaned forward and kissed him.
When they broke apart, Orlando smiled and sighed. “Bloody hell Viggo, it took you long enough.”
Viggo threw back his head and laughed. Then he kissed Orlando again, and for the first time they both felt like their futures were secure.
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There is a place where souls can come together outside of time and space. This is where Viggo and Orlando meet.
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I have never met Viggo Mortensen or Orlando Bloom. I have no knowledge of their personal lives or sexual preferences. This is a work of complete fiction and no money is being made from it.
Beta:
mesnica Thanks so much!Author’s Notes: Title is from the beautiful Erasure song “Solo Luminous.” Written for the VOLA October 2006 Supernatural Fic Challenge. Challenge stories can be found at the VolaSlash Archive
Orlando was falling. Time slowed down just enough for him to realize what was happening. He had time to think that climbing out that window was probably the stupidest thing he’d ever done. He had enough time to think it was going to hurt like hell when he finally hit the ground. Orlando was wrong. He fell, and then there was nothing.
“Orlando.”
He opened his eyes when he heard an unfamiliar voice calling his name. It wasn’t the struggle he expected it to be. Orlando realized he wasn’t lying broken on the ground, and he wasn’t in a hospital. He was nowhere.
“Orlando.”
There was the voice again. Orlando looked around, but there was no one. Then suddenly someone was there. There was a man, older maybe in his forties, Orlando thought. He was handsome in a rough American sort of way with sandy hair that was short but still a bit shaggy. It was his eyes however that Orlando couldn’t look away from. They were blue and beautiful and full of things Orlando thought he should understand but didn’t.
“Orlando.”
“Who are you?” Orlando asked although he was sure he was supposed to know.
“I’m your future,” the man answered smiling a bit sheepishly.
“Viggo.” The name came to Orlando and somehow he knew it was right. “How did I know that?”
The man, Viggo, Orlando corrected himself, just shrugged. “Things are different here. It’s why I could come to you.”
“Why you? I don’t even know you.” Orlando wasn’t sure what was going on. He thought he should be scared or angry but somehow the nothingness of the place seemed to extend to his emotions.
“To show you why you need to fight.”
Everything around Orlando changed. Instead of seeing nothing, Orlando found himself watching something just far enough away for him to know he was watching and not actually there. Viggo was sitting by a lake with a fishing pole resting beside him, but most of his attention was on the notebook he was writing in. Before he had a chance to notice anymore about Viggo, he saw an older version of himself enter the picture. Since he appeared to be trying to sneak up on Viggo, Orlando took the time to study himself in the future. It was obvious several decades had passed. His hair was short and wavy with bits of grey, and he could see small lines around his eyes. He looked good though, and Orlando was relieved to know he would age gracefully.
Then Orlando watched himself throw a few pebbles at Viggo before ducking behind a tree. He seemed to be waiting for Viggo’s reaction, but Viggo ignored the interruption. From where he was watching, Orlando could see Viggo smile and knew he wasn’t as oblivious as he pretended. The older Orlando crept up behind Viggo, but just before he reached him, Viggo turned and grabbed him. He pulled Orlando into his lap, and they both laughed. Orlando couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he didn’t need to hear the words to recognize the familiarity and intimacy in the greeting. He saw the joy in Viggo’s face as he ran a hand through Orlando’s hair and pulled him forward for a kiss. As the image began to fade away, Orlando felt an odd wistfulness that made him want to reach for the vanishing couple.
Before he could say anything or ask Viggo any questions, another scene unfolded before him. This time, Orlando saw himself walking a red carpet. He didn’t look too much older than he was now. His hair was long enough to be pulled back in a short ponytail, and he was dressed in all black. But it was the reaction of the fans he was captivated by. They were screaming for him, desperately trying to get past the barrier and touch him. He watched himself smiling and signing autographs. It was something most actors dreamed of, but nothing Orlando had ever imagined for himself. Orlando turned smiling toward Viggo, wanting to share his pride and excitement, but Viggo wasn’t looking at him. He was still watching, waiting for what would happen next.
Orlando turned his attention back to what he assumed was a movie premiere. He wondered if he’d see anyone famous. Orlando saw that he was inside the theatre now. It was filled with people, but they were fuzzy and indistinct. The only person he could see clearly was Viggo. This Viggo was younger with longer hair that had a reddish tint. They moved toward each other, not paying attention to anyone around them. Orlando watched their smiles widen as they grew closer. When they met, it was restrained, not like before, but Orlando could still see the joy in their eyes. And when they reached for each other, pressing their foreheads together, the sense of intimacy was just as strong.
And then everything was gone. Everything but Viggo. Orlando didn't know what to say to him. He didn't understand this future Viggo had shown him or this connection they seemed to share. He decided to stick with what was safe. "So I'm famous in the future, yeah?"
"Fame finds you early, Orlando." Viggo smiled, but there were shadows in his eyes.
"But?" Orlando wasn't sure if Viggo was supposed to tell him bad things, but for some reason he trusted Viggo to tell him the truth.
"Fame is never what anyone expects it to be." There was a long silence while Viggo seemed to struggle with what to say. He looked away from Orlando, but continued. "There are times when fame controls your life, when you are famous for being famous. It can be frustrating and restrictive. You work through all that, Orlando, and you find your balance. You find fame and success and happiness."
Viggo was looking at Orlando again, and he seemed so sincere that Orlando wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe he could have all the things Viggo said he did, that he could be that guy he saw in the future. But it wasn't the future he thought he'd have and none of it made any sense. He started to ask Viggo a question, but he was gone. Orlando was alone again. Then there was nothing but pain and fear.
The next few days were filled with uncertainty and fear. Orlando was overwhelmed with doctors, second opinions, and medications that made it hard for him to think clearly. By the time they wheeled him into a surgery doctors considered a long shot, he was confused and too terrified to hope. He obediently started counting backwards from ten. By seven he was completely under and once again surrounded by nothing.
"Orlando."
The voice wasn't gentle this time; it was insistent. Orlando knew Viggo as soon as he saw him. "What are you doing here?" Orlando wasn't in the mood for whatever Viggo wanted to show him.
"You're not fighting.”
“Why should I? I don’t have anything to fucking fight for. The doctors don’t think this surgery will work. It’s all a bloody waste of time. My life is over.” Orlando finally said all the things he’d been thinking while an endless parade of doctors tried to pretend they had some kind of answer for him.
“Is that what you saw before Orlando? Did you see a life that was ruined?” Viggo spoke quietly, forcing Orlando to pay attention to him.
“If you already know what’s going to happen, why are you here? Why are you telling me to fight? It doesn’t matter what I do.” Orlando knew he was being difficult, but he didn’t care.
“Nothing is guaranteed. This is the future you are supposed to have. At least I think it is; it’s the one I know.”
“And if it’s not the one I want?” Orlando felt guilty when he saw the flash of hurt cross Viggo’s face. He had to ask though, too much of his life decided for him in the past. He needed to believe he had some control over his future.
Viggo shrugged and looked away. “You always have choices Orlando. This is just what can be.”
Orlando nodded. He could live with that. “But I can walk away from this. The doctors are wrong; I’ll be alright. Just like before, yeah?”
“Orlando,” Viggo sighed. “Something like this is always going to change you. You can’t expect”
“I don’t mean all that life perspective stuff,” Orlando waved away whatever Viggo had been about to say. As hard as he tried, Orlando couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life in a wheelchair. He couldn’t imagine losing control of his body. That’s what he was most afraid of. “I mean physically I’ll be fine?”
“You are able to do all things you want to.” Viggo paused, and Orlando knew there was more. He waited silently for Viggo to continue. “Your back is permanently damaged; nothing can change that. You’ll always have pain and stiffness, but you learn to live with it.”
Orlando narrowed eyes as he tried to read Viggo’s expression. There was too much room for interpretation in his answer. “Show me,” he demanded.
Like before, the image just appeared before him. He and Viggo were in a bedroom. Viggo was much younger. His hair was longer and dark. He looked like a completely different person. Orlando seemed to be only a few years older. His body was still rangy and thin, but he had some kind of odd mohawk. He watched as they got ready for bed. Once again he couldn’t hear what they were saying. When he looked at his face, Orlando noticed he look very tired, almost ill. And by the way he was moving as he undressed, he could tell he was in pain. He saw Viggo gestured toward the bed, and then Orlando saw his own back for the first time.
“Bloody hell,” he whispered. The scar was huge, long and ugly. He couldn’t help but think that as he watched this, doctors were doing this to him. They were cutting into his body, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
"This, this is what you want me to fight for?" Orlando turned in disbelief to Viggo. "A fucked up body, and from what you told me before, a career that's not much better. No thanks."
"Orlando, you're missing the point." Viggo stepped forward and reached for Orlando before dropping his arms. Orlando knew, just like he knew Viggo's name, that there was no physical component to this place. Viggo couldn't touch him no matter how much he wanted to. "It's not about how much money you make or how famous you are or even about how well your back heals. This is about your future, all of it. You need to stop focusing on the details and just feel. Can you do that?"
"It's not like I have any choice," Orlando muttered, but he turned his attention back to the bedroom.
Orlando was face down on the bed, naked. Viggo was kneeling over his lower back wearing nothing but faded sweatpants. He watched as Viggo poured some oil onto his hands and began massaging Orlando's back. He took his time using long gentle strokes and occasional deep pressure. He leaned down every now and then to nuzzle the back of Orlando's neck or drop a light kiss on his back. Orlando's face was turned to the side so he was able to watch his own expression change. He saw the pain and exhaustion fade away only to be replaced by contentment. He saw himself smile every time Viggo kissed him.
Eventually he turned underneath Viggo so they were facing each other. He said something that made Viggo laugh before he took his sweatpants off. Orlando could see they were both aroused. Viggo stretched out on top of him and they kissed while pressing their cocks against each other. Their movements and the kiss were unhurried and familiar. It was obvious they'd been together before. Orlando hands roamed Viggo's body, trying to pull him closer. They broke apart and Orlando turned onto his side while Viggo settled behind him. With fingers still slick from the massage oil, Viggo stroked Orlando's cock and entered his body. Orlando pushed back against Viggo's fingers and tried to hand him a condom that has been on the nightstand. Viggo kissed Orlando's shoulder and said something that made them both smile. Orlando imagined it had something to do with the fact that both his hands were occupied. But it wasn't long before Viggo's cock replaced his fingers in Orlando's body.
Orlando had been with men before. But it had always been mutual hand jobs between friends or a quick blowjob in the loo of some club. It had never been like this, and he couldn't tear his eyes away. He saw how beautiful they looked together, how perfectly they moved together. He watched as they kissed and whispered and touched. He looked into their eyes and found both passion and love. He watched as they climaxed; their orgasms as much about joy as they were about pleasure. He saw the tenderness and openness between them afterwards.
Before he could really think about what he had just watched, the scene changed. Orlando guessed it was several years later than what he'd just watched. Viggo's hair was very short, and he thought there was some grey in the temples, but it was hard to tell. Orlando had filled out quite a bit, and his hair was long and curly. Thankfully, the mohawk was gone. Orlando was standing in a doorway and appeared to be looking for Viggo. The moment he spotted him was obvious because Orlando's face just fell. He called Viggo's name, and Viggo looked up from the chair he was sitting in. Viggo's shoulders were slumped and it looked like he'd been crying. Orlando crossed the room swiftly and knelt in front of him. He reached for Viggo's hands and kissed them lightly before speaking. Viggo just shook his head and looked away.
Orlando had never been more frustrated with his inability to hear what they were saying. He watched as he stroked Viggo's face gently before using his hand to force Viggo to look at him. He spoke quickly, and Orlando knew he was trying to convince Viggo of something. Viggo wasn't listening; his eyes wandered aimlessly around the room. Orlando felt a fear for both of them he couldn't explain. The fear was replaced with relief when he saw Viggo begin to respond to Orlando. Viggo pulled Orlando up into his lap and cradled his face in his hands. They pressed their foreheads together like Orlando had seen them do before. Then Orlando moved to hold Viggo. Viggo's head rested against his heart; Orlando stroked his hair and back while whispering what appeared to be reassurances. Orlando was stunned by the look on his own face. It was full of anguish, but for Viggo's pain not his own. Orlando had never imagined he could feel so deeply for someone else.
"I'm sorry," Orlando said aloud to Viggo.
"For what?" Viggo asked turning his attention from the couple they'd been watching.
"For whatever I did to hurt you." It seemed silly to apologize for something he hadn't done yet, but Orlando couldn’t help it.
"Oh no, Orlando, that wasn't you. You were my comfort not my pain. Not that we never hurt each other because that's impossible to avoid when you love someone, but never intentionally and never like that."
"We love each other." It was more of a statement than a question.
Viggo nodded, "Very much."
Orlando looked at Viggo and suddenly he understood. The man standing in front of him wasn't a stranger whose name he somehow knew. This was Viggo, the man who loved him. The man Orlando would someday love. He wasn't watching scenes from a movie, but pieces of his own life, a life he found himself wanting more and more.
Several images flashed before Orlando, changing too quickly for him to completely process them. He saw himself with Viggo. They were laughing, kissing, arguing, walking together, and sleeping side by side. "Will I know you?" Orlando asked when the images faded away.
Viggo shook his head. "You won't remember this."
"Then how will I find you?"
"Maybe I'll find you," Viggo answered smiling. "Be strong, Orlando. Fight. I'll be waiting. I promise."
It was a nurse’s voice Orlando heard next, telling him the surgery was over and had gone well. He woke with a new determination to not let the accident define his life. Orlando surprised everyone, including his doctors, with his recovery.
The first time Orlando saw Viggo he was dressed as Aragorn. He was impressed, but that was all. When he finally met Viggo in person, Orlando was a little nervous. He'd heard about Viggo's first fight scenes from the Hobbits, and their version was a bit intimidating. He was surprised at how soft spoken and nice he seemed to be. Orlando had never seen any of Viggo's movies so he didn't expect to recognize him. Then he looked into Viggo's eyes. There was something safe and familiar about them. Orlando never wanted to look away.
Viggo was so focused on Aragorn he didn't realize he was in trouble until it was too late. As he floated down the river, he thought of Arwen and how it had hurt to let her go, but at least she would be spared his death. He struggled with the sense of failure that came from not completing the quest. By the time Viggo realized he was no longer floating, but was being sucked into the river, there was nothing he could do. There was a brief moment of panic as he struggled against the rapids, then nothing.
"Giving in so easy, Old Man? I expected more of you."
Viggo opened his eyes and searched for the familiar voice. "Orlando?" he asked confused. The person he saw was Orlando, but not the Orlando he knew. This Orlando had a full head of hair and was younger than his costar.
"Although I imagine you were so busy being Aragorn, saving your own life never crossed your mind."
Viggo blushed at being caught. He had been so deep in Aragorn's head, he'd more than half expected to wake up in Middle Earth. "What are you doing here? I mean why?"
"Why me?" Orlando cut him off. "You're wondering what I'm doing here instead of maybe Henry. You and Henry are close. I've never known a father and son with a better relationship, but he grows up and has a life of his own. I'm always there."
Viggo couldn't help raising a questioning eyebrow. He was very attracted to Orlando, and he knew Orlando was interested in him. But this was the reason he never let their relationship go beyond friendship. No matter what he thought he saw when Orlando looked at him, he couldn't believe the energy and youth and enthusiasm that drew him to Orlando wouldn’t eventually pull them apart.
"Yeah, that's part of why I'm here." Orlando's smile disappeared, and he looked at Viggo seriously. "Once you showed me a future I didn't even know I wanted. Now I'm going to show you the future you won't let yourself believe in."
"I don't understand. You're saying I came to you like this?"
"It's in the past for me and in the future for you. You'll make yourself crazy trying to make sense of it so don’t bother. Just take a piece of advice you gave me. Don't try and analyze this, just feel."
Viggo nodded. He had no idea what was happening, but he wanted to experience it. He wanted to explore this connection he and Orlando seemed to share. Just as Orlando finished speaking, an image unfolded before Viggo. It was like watching a movie only what he saw wasn't limited by a screen. He saw an older version of himself at what looked like an art gallery. He winced a little at the amount of grey in his hair, but otherwise he looked good. Viggo couldn't see the pieces on display clearly, but he knew they were his. He was talking to a man Viggo didn't recognize, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. Viggo knew himself well enough to recognize when he was being polite. He couldn't imagine what Orlando was trying to show him with this.
Then his face lit up. Viggo's heart began to race just watching his own reaction. Polite interest was now warmth and affection. He saw happiness and love in his eyes. That's when Orlando came in. He was still thin, but both his face and body had filled out. His hair just brushed the back of his neck and was more wavy than curly. Orlando smiled when he spotted Viggo, and the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth were barely visible. He was beautiful. Orlando made his way to Viggo's side and joined in the conversation. As they talked, Orlando casually reached for Viggo's hand and laced their fingers together. Just watching them together, Viggo could feel the intimacy between them. It was more than he'd ever imagined.
"Is it always this easy?" he asked.
Orlando laughed. "No, I don't think easy is ever a word I would use to describe our relationship. Wonderful, complicated, passionate, maybe frustrating, but not easy. You, much more than me, always understood the realities of two actors having a relationship and careers. We spend a lot of time hiding and protecting our privacy. There are years when we spend more time trying to find ways to see each other than we actually spend together. It's anything but easy."
"Then what did you show me?" Viggo couldn't believe Orlando was here to show him what he couldn't have, but what he saw and what Orlando said didn't add up.
"When you're fifty-two you have a heart attack. It changes everything, especially me. Things are different after that. And as hard as it often is for us to believe, over time society's attitude does change. Not completely and not everyone's, but enough that it's not the scandal it would have been."
"Is it worth it?" Viggo knew it was an impossible question. Orlando could only answer for himself; to expect anything more was unfair. But Viggo had been hurt too many times before. He knew how it felt to fight to make something work when it would be better for everyone to let go. He wouldn't do that again.
“Absolutely. What we have is worth every second of pain and inconvenience.” The look on Orlando’s face left no doubt to his sincerity.
Viggo was fascinated by Orlando. Sometimes, especially after a long day of shooting, Orlando seemed impossibly young, and this Orlando was even younger. But his eyes told of wisdom and knowledge Viggo didn’t have yet. Viggo wanted the stories behind that knowledge. At the same time, he couldn’t help but trust what he saw there. “Will we meet like this again?”
“I bloody well hope not,” Orlando said clearly surprised by the question. “How many more near death experiences do you want us to have? No, don’t answer that. There’s not much time, and there is more I want you to see.”
Viggo saw himself sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. He looked much the same as he did now so he knew it wasn’t too far into the future. Orlando was next to him. This was the Orlando he saw every day. The one he longed for, but kept at a slight distance. Orlando was sitting against the headboard propped up by a stack of pillows just looking at Viggo. His expression was so open and completely unguarded it took Viggo’s breath away. No one had ever looked at him with so much love and tenderness. Not even Chris in the beginning when things were good, or after Henry was born and their love for him seemed to make their own love new again. Viggo shifted in his sleep, turning until his face was pressed against Orlando’s thigh. Orlando smiled down at him and then wiggled around until he was lying next to Viggo. He rained light kisses along Viggo’s neck and jaw until he reached his mouth. The next kiss started gentle, but deepened as Viggo began to stir. Viggo thought it had to be the most wonderful way to wake up.
Viggo was sleeping again, but this time it was in a hospital bed. There was an oxygen tube in his nose and a monitor next to his bed. He knew enough about medicine to know his condition was stable. Orlando was in a chair pulled up next to the bed, but he’d fallen asleep with his upper body stretched out over Viggo’s stomach. His sleep was uneasy and restless, and Viggo could clearly see the worry and pain on his face. The knuckles of the hand that clutched Viggo’s were white. He saw a nurse come in and check his chart and monitor without waking either of them. It was obvious Orlando had been there a while and had no intention of leaving.
He turned to Orlando to offer him reassurances that he would be alright even though Orlando would know that better than he did. But Orlando wasn’t there. Before Viggo could question his absence, he was back.
“Sorry, it’s just I can’t watch that,” he gestured to where the image had been. “It’s still too hard. It hurts too much to think of losing you.”
“I’m sorry.” It was inadequate, but Viggo felt he had to say it.
“No, don’t be. It’s something you needed to see.” Orlando shoved his hands in his pockets. “Damn, this no touching thing is harder than I thought it would be. You have no idea how much I want to kiss you. A hug would be amazing right now. Never mind,” Orlando shook his head. “We’re almost done.”
Then a barrage of images began, each one shifting quickly and seamlessly into the next. They were all of him with Orlando. The two of them walking together in the woods, laughing, standing together at Henry’s wedding, running with their dogs.
“Will I remember this?” he asked Orlando when it was over.
“No, not really. You might dream about it; I do sometimes. There are things that will seem familiar, almost like déjà vu. There will be a sense of rightness when we are together. It’s already there, but you’ll feel it more strongly when you stop fighting it.”
Viggo nodded. It wasn’t the answer he wanted, but it was what he expected.
“Goodbye love, I’ll see you soon.” Orlando’s smile was a little sad and wistful, and then he was gone.
Viggo gasped for air as he somehow made his way to the surface. People were shouting, and no one seemed to know what happened. Viggo spent the rest of the day reassuring everyone that he was fine and making sure they got the shots they needed. He didn’t want to repeat this shoot if he could help. Through it all he couldn’t escape the feeling that he needed to see Orlando.
Orlando was in their trailer when he got back. As soon as Viggo saw him, he knew he was making the right decision. The accident at the river was the kick in the ass he’d needed. He wasn’t going to give up a chance for happiness because he was afraid of what might happen.
“Hey, how’d it go today?” Orlando looked up from the script he was reading and gave Viggo a welcoming smile.
“Other than almost drowning, it went pretty well,” Viggo tried to make light of what had happened.
Orlando was out of his chair and in front of Viggo in a second. “What the fuck? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, it’s not important.” Before Orlando could ask any more questions, Viggo framed his face with his hands and leaned forward and kissed him.
When they broke apart, Orlando smiled and sighed. “Bloody hell Viggo, it took you long enough.”
Viggo threw back his head and laughed. Then he kissed Orlando again, and for the first time they both felt like their futures were secure.
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Date: 2006-11-01 09:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-02 03:46 pm (UTC)