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jule1122This is the first of three stories I wrote for Holiday Gift Exchanges. I apologize ahead of time for massive cross posting.
Title: I Could Fall In Love With You
Fandom and Pairing: LOTR RPF Viggo/Orlando
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vo_xmas Gift For: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ancabell who requested would like to get a fic in which Viggo and Orli are only friends (at least until the end), very realistic, and I want the end to be surprising! I don’t like PWP, and really schmoopy stuff (baby, angel and the like...)
Summary: Orlando had always believed in love at first sight. At least until it took him eight years to fall in love with Viggo.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Warnings: None
Notes: Thank you to my amazing betaphnx_rising. Title is taken from the Erasure song of the same name.
“So what’s he like,” Dom bumped Orlando’s shoulder as he sat down and joined him in watching Aragorn battle some Orks, “in bed?”
“Who?” Orlando asked absently.
“Viggo, who else?”
Orlando turned and finally gave Dom his full attention. “How the bloody fuck would I know?”
“Oh come on Orli, everyone knows you two have been shagging for months.”
“What? No, we’re not shagging. Why would anyone think that?” That was a crazy idea even for Dom.
“You spend a lot of time together,” Dom said as if that was enough of a reason.
“We’re friends.”
“It’s more than that. You guys have dinner together all the time. You go camping together, and you talk about him all the time.”
“We’re just friends,” Orlando became more insistent.
“But you sleep with blokes, right?”
“Sometimes,” Orlando shrugged. He had sex with a few guys, but when he thought of being with someone it was usually a woman.
“But not with Viggo?” Dom sounded skeptical.
Orlando shook his head. The conversation was getting ridiculous.
“Why not?” Dom watched Viggo charge at the Orks, his gaze appraising. “If you ask me, he’s dead sexy.”
It’s not like Orlando could argue with that. “We’re friends,” he repeated again knowing it wouldn’t satisfy Dom. “Viggo’s great. I mean he can do anything, and he has all these great stories about the places his been and the crazy things he’s done. And he listens to me when I want to talk about Legolas or acting or whatever. I’ve never met anyone like him before, but he’s got a kid.”
“So, it’s not like Henry’s here.”
“It’s not Henry specifically,” Orlando struggled to find a way to explain it. “It’s just, well you’ve heard Viggo talk about Henry. He wants to make sure Henry has as normal and stable a life as possible. And that doesn’t include fooling around with someone like me. I have no idea what I’m doing when we’re done here, but I don’t think it’s going to be stable.”
“So no shagging then.”
“No shagging.”
“That’s a shame,” Dom said his eyes lingering on Viggo’s ass.
There was nothing Orlando could say to that so he remained silent. He resisted the urge to warn Dom away from Viggo, and sighed with relief when Dom wandered off to find Billy.
Walking into the restaurant, Orlando couldn’t help but feel nervous. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, flying over from Australia to meet up with anyone around for reshoots. He’d been disappointed when his obligations on the Ned Kelly set prevented him from participating, and when Viggo told him about the reunion dinner he was having, Orlando quickly made arrangements to attend. But now he wondered if he still belonged in Middle Earth.
Liv squealed when she saw him, jumping to her feet and gushing about his new look while hugging and kissing him. Orlando eventually managed to break free. He shared quiet greetings and handshakes with the rest of the table before reaching Viggo.
Viggo stood and looked Orlando over before speaking, “You’re looking a lot more like a filthy human than elf these days.”
Without even thinking about it, Orlando answered in Legolas’s voice. “No matter the disguise, be assured the blood of an immortal still courses through my veins. You cannot claim the same.”
Viggo threw back his head and laughed before pulling Orlando into a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you Elf Boy,” he whispered into Orlando’s ear.
“It’s good to see you, Old Man.” Orlando sat next Viggo finally feeling at home.
Later, he and Viggo walked along the river guided by the moon Orlando had admired earlier. “So how are things going with the new movie?” Viggo asked.
“Great. Everyone is really nice, and we are having a lot of fun. Heath’s a blast. Not as crazy as the Hobbits, but then who is? What do you think of the accent?” Orlando had been using his Irish accent even off set. It was easier than switching back and forth.
Viggo ignored the question. “So everything is great. But. . .?”
When Orlando didn’t answer right away, Viggo kept walking, letting the silence grow between them. Orlando sighed and gave in; he knew Viggo would wait as long as he had to for a response. “But it’s not Rings. I know you told me how special what we had here was, and I thought I understood, but I really didn’t.”
“Every movie experience is different. Some are better than others, and Rings was certainly extraordinary, but that doesn’t mean others won’t be special to. There is always something good and unique to take away from a film.”
“I know, and I’m not complaining even though it sounds like I am. I really am having a great time doing this movie. But I still miss this. That’s why I wanted to be here tonight.”
“Rings is far from over so you don’t need to miss it just yet. We have years of premieres and interviews left. I think we all know these films will always be part of our lives. You are lucky to have had this experience so early in your career. You know what can be, and that will make you a better actor and a better cast member. But even when these films are truly over, you’ll still have your memories, and you’ll still have the Fellowship. You can count on that.”
“Thanks, Viggo.” Orlando didn’t know how Viggo always knew the right thing to say, but he did. He hit on Orlando’s greatest fear that as time past he would lose touch with all the things that made Rings so special especially the people.
“And in case you are still wondering, the accent’s adorable,” Viggo winked at Orlando.
“Adorable!” Orlando protested. “I’ll have you know this accent is considered very sexy. Mysterious and brooding, I’ve been told.”
“Whatever you say, Elf Boy.”
There were both laughing as they headed back toward the restaurant.
When the first December without a Lord of the Rings premiere came around, Orlando checked his schedule daily convinced he was forgetting to do something. When he finally realized what was missing, he picked up the phone. He started to dial half a dozen different numbers before calling Viggo.
“So do you feel like we should be in a theater somewhere making fun of the Hobbits, or is it just me?” Orlando asked as soon as Viggo answered.
Viggo chuckled. “No, it’s not you. I think everyone is feeling a bit lost. At least that’s what the number of phone calls I’ve gotten in the last week seems to indicate.”
Orlando nodded even though Viggo couldn’t see him. Viggo was their king, their leader; he wasn’t surprised other people had called him. “I didn’t expect to miss it like this. I thought maybe Pirates could fill the gap, but it’s not the same.”
“Nothing ever will be, but I’ve told you before Orlando the experience doesn’t end with the movies. The relationships we formed are stronger than that.”
“I wanted to come, you know, to Dom’s. I planned to be there, but then Kate had her premier, and it was in London so I felt like I had to go.” Orlando looked down and fussed with the cord he wore around his wrist.
“Orlando, you don’t have to explain. We all have different schedules now, and everyone understands that.” Viggo’s voice was gentle, understanding.
But Orlando did want to explain. He wanted Viggo to know how much he had wanted to be there. His plans had been made until Kate insisted he go with her, and Robin backed her up. They told him that Kate was his future, and he needed to focus on that instead of living in the past. His career had moved beyond Lord of the Rings, they said, and it was time he did too. Orlando didn’t feel that way, but it had been easier to give in. He regretted it now. “I don’t want you to think it wasn’t important to me. I don’t want anyone to think I’ve forgotten.”
“You know better than that.” Now Viggo sounded like the king he was to them. “Anything you read about jealousies and resentment is bullshit. We are all happy for the opportunities you’ve earned just like you’re happy when someone else succeeds. You can’t let stuff like that get to you.”
Dom had told Orlando the same thing the one time he’d asked, and most of the time Orlando believed it. But he also knew how easy it was to grow away from your friends. There were people he met at school who he thought would be his friends forever, and somehow they became some people who loved spreading rumors about him. He didn’t want that to happen with the Fellowship. Orlando sighed and picked at the seam of his jeans. “I’m sorry Viggo. I’m just being silly. I shouldn’t have called.”
“You can always call me. Elves are prone to pining you know, and I wouldn’t want you wasting away.”
“Pining! Elves do not pine,” Orlando responded automatically to Viggo’s teasing. “I wasn’t the one dreaming of some girl who left me for her homeland.”
“But she didn’t leave because I am irresistible.”
Orlando snorted. “I always thought it was your sword Arwen was after.”
“My sword!’ Viggo laughed loudly. “You’re just jealous because no one lusted after your little daggers.”
“Hey, I have a sword now, and I know how to use it.”
“You do?” Viggo continued to bait Orlando.
“I rock with the sword. I could take you now.” Orlando boasted.
“You’re that good?” Viggo sounded doubtful. “Did Bob tell you that?”
“Well, not in those exact words,” Orlando hedged.
“That’s because I am the master swordsman.”
“We’ll see about that. I challenge you to a duel the next time we see it each other.”
“Bring it on, Elf Boy.”
“Let’s just hope you aren’t too feeble to lift your sword by then Old Man.”
When Viggo finally stopped laughing, they made plans to try and meet in a few months. Once he hung up, Orlando realized he felt better than he had in weeks. Calling Viggo had been a great idea.
Orlando ignored the first knock on his hotel room door. He didn’t have to be anywhere until the press conference tomorrow, and he had no intention of seeing anyone before then. He needed all the time he could get to figure out what he was going to say, to decide how to explain another failure. But the knocking didn’t stop so he dragged himself to the door.
“Hey Viggo, I didn’t expect to see you.” Orlando tried to rearrange his face into a smile. He’d heard Viggo’s film had done extremely well, and he didn’t want to drag Viggo down. “Congratulations on the screening. I imagine you and David are shoe ins for Oscar nominations now.”
“Orli,” Viggo tried to interrupt when Orlando paused briefly.
Orlando kept talking as he stepped back to let Viggo in. He didn’t want Viggo’s sympathy; he’d much rather focus on Viggo’s success. “I would have thought you’d still be at the party. Everyone must be so excited. I would have stopped by, but I think I’ve given Robin enough to deal with already. I want to see it soon.”
“Orlando, stop.” This time Viggo was insistent. He pulled Orlando into a hug and just held him there.
Relaxing into Viggo’s embrace, Orlando let Viggo take his weight. He let himself be comforted for just a moment before pulling back. “I’m okay, Viggo. You shouldn’t be here. Someone might”
That’s as far as he got before Viggo cut him off, his voice sharp with anger. “This is where I want to be. I don’t care what Robin says. No one knows I’m here,” he finished more quietly.
Orlando didn’t bother arguing further. He wanted Viggo there with him more than he wanted to fight about discretion. He hadn’t understood when Robin first started telling him he needed to stop talking about Viggo and to make sure they weren’t seen together. He’d thought she was overreacting to what happened at the Return of the King premiers just like the executives had. Orlando had been angry and frustrated, and he’d fought Robin a long time on that issue.
Eventually she had convinced Orlando it wasn’t just his career and reputation that could be damaged. Not that Robin cared about Viggo, but she’d finally found an argument he would listen to. Viggo had always maintained a fairly low profile. Orlando knew how important it was for him to keep his life as stable as possible for Henry. That was one of the many things he admired about Viggo. Once Orlando became a tabloid favorite, it became easy to see how Viggo could get pulled into that. He didn’t want people calling Viggo for his reaction to whatever the current rumor about Orlando was. He didn’t want Viggo’s picture to be taken by some photographer who was following Orlando. If keeping their continued friendship a secret protected Viggo from all that, Orlando would do it happily.
But days like this made it hard. He couldn’t accept the support Viggo was offering with simple gratitude. Instead he had to wonder if there would be consequences for both of them or if he would have to barter away a little more of his freedom in exchange for tonight. Orlando made concessions he never would have dreamed of every day in the name of fame, but tonight he was too tired. He couldn’t bring himself to send Viggo away.
Orlando collapsed on the couch not sure what to say. He knew there was a joke he should make, something to break the tension and let Viggo know he was fine, but the words wouldn’t come.
“Do you want a drink?”
“No, I think the only thing that make all this worse would be showing up tomorrow with a hangover. But help yourself.” Orlando gestured in the direction of the minibar.
Viggo smiled and shook his head. “I’ve had enough tonight.”
“Champagne doesn’t count,” Orlando teased. But he closed his eyes against the image of the unopened bottles that were meant to celebrate Elizabethtown. He leaned against Viggo when he felt him sit down next to him. “Viggo, what am I doing wrong?”
“Nothing,” Viggo said with such conviction that Orlando almost believed him.
“Kingdom of Heaven was hard, you know. It was my first shot at the lead role, and it couldn’t have gone worse. But everyone convinced me it wasn’t my fault. Maybe I just heard what I needed to hear, that it was the editing or the lack of focus on character not my performance that was the real problem. I told myself I did my best, and I still had Elizabethtown. I really believed in this story. I wanted to do it justice, and I thought I had, but it looks like I failed again.” Putting into words just made Orlando feel worse.
“I haven’t seen Elizabethtown, but there is one thing I know about you that I’m sure hasn’t changed. Orlando, you always give everything you can to a role. It was one of the first things I noticed about you in New Zealand. You gave yourself completely over to Legolas. Even when a scene didn’t call for you to do more than look at something, you never gave a half hearted performance. No one can ask more than that, and as long as you do that you can be proud of your work regardless of the reaction.”
“That sounds good, Viggo, but it’s hard to do when you are the one being ripped to shreds. How do I just shrug that off?”
Viggo laughed. “I’m not saying it’s easy. Don’t forget I was in my forties when we did Rings, and that was my first real success. I have years of experience with failures and disappointments. It does get easier.”
Orlando opened his eyes and glared at Viggo. “I thought you were supposed to be cheering me up not reminded me how many more disasters I have in my future.”
“I’m just saying every actor has movies that don’t live up to expectations. There are a million reasons that have nothing to do with your performance. You can only control what you do. Everything else is out of your hands. The only way to survive in this business is to learn to accept that. All you can do is go on to the next project and hope for the best.”
“And if I run out of hope?”
“Then maybe it’s time to find something else to do. But Orlando, I think you are a long way from running out of hope.”
“If you tell me things will look better in the morning, I reserve the right to kill you,” Orlando knew Viggo was right, and someday what he was saying would help, but not right now.
“No more platitudes, I promise. What if I tell you about the last time Henry and I were in Idaho instead? Henry had a huge crush on one of the waitresses, and was less than subtle in his pursuit.”
Orlando smiled for what felt like the first time in hours. He leaned his head on Viggo’s shoulder. “That sounds good.”
Two weeks after Orlando broke up with Kate for the last time, Viggo showed up at his hotel room with a case of really good beer. “Did I sound that bad on the phone?” Orlando asked eyeing the beer suspiciously.
“No, but some situations call for a little traditional male bonding.” Viggo gave Orlando a one armed hug before pushing past him into the suite. He sat on the couch and put both his feet and the beer on the coffee table. “Come join me,” Viggo beckoned practically leering at Orlando.
“Bean put you up to this didn’t he? He thinks beer is the answer to everything.” Orlando shut the door and leaned against with his arms crossed. He made no move to join Viggo.
“While Bean is the self declared expert on break-ups, he has nothing to do with my being here.” Viggo opened a beer and help it out toward Orlando.
“So there’s no plot to get the Elf drunk and humiliate him?” It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Viggo, but he’d learned to be suspicious of surprise visits. He was one up on Bean in the practical joke department, and he wouldn’t put it past him to recruit Viggo to even the score.
“No plots, just one friend checking up on another.”
“Fine,” Orlando gave in and sat next to Viggo. “Give me that,” he snatched the beer from Viggo’s hand.
Viggo laughed and opened another for himself. “So how does it feel to be single again?”
Orlando shrugged. “I’m not looking for anyone new just yet, but it’s not like this hasn’t been coming.”
“I was a little surprised when you two got back together,” Viggo said carefully.
Viggo knew more about Orlando’s relationship with Kate than almost anybody. He knew how much Orlando cared about Kate, but that no matter how hard he tried, he’d never quite been able to fall in love with her. The only thing that made that almost bearable was knowing Kate hadn’t really loved him either. “I think I need more beer if we are going to talk about this.”
Viggo waited until Orlando finished his next beer before speaking again. “I’m not criticizing, Orlando. But that decision never seemed to make you happy, and that’s what I’d like for you.”
“I wanted things to work with Kate, you know that. I just kept thinking if I tried harder it would somehow all work out. But I guess you can only try to love someone for so long before you have to admit it’s just not going to happen.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I really am which says something I guess. I just don’t want to make the same mistake again. When I first met Kate, she was beautiful and sweet and funny. She knew the business, and she loved dogs. She was everything I thought I wanted, and I was so sure I could love her. I remember thinking it wasn’t love at first sight, but it was close enough.” Orlando shook his head and laughed bitterly. “God, I was so bloody stupid. I should have known it was too easy.”
“Love is never easy,” was Viggo’s only reply.
“That’s cryptic even for you,” Orlando laughed. “Is that your sage love advice, Old Man?”
“Fuck Orlando, I am the last person you’d want love advice from. Okay maybe Beanie would be last.” They both snorted. “But I definitely haven’t figured out love. In the time you were with Kate I had two people leave me.”
Orlando had never met either of Viggo’s lovers. He only knew them from the bits and pieces Viggo told him and what he’d heard from Henry and Dom. He knew there had been a girlfriend Henry secretly hated, and a boyfriend he’d really liked right up until the end. One break-up had been friendly, and the other had broken Viggo’s heart. Orlando would never forget calling to check on Viggo and having Henry tell him Viggo had been locked in his studio for days and as far as he could tell wasn’t eating or sleeping. Even years later, Orlando knew if he ever met Paul he’d kill him.
“They were stupid, you know, for leaving you.”
“I’ll be sure to pass that on.” Viggo smiled a little.
“I’m bloody well doomed you know. If you can’t find love, what the fuck chance do I have? Fuck this is a depressing conversation. When did you become such a morose drunk?”
“I’m not drunk. This is how you console your broken hearted friend, by lamenting your own lost loves.”
Viggo sounded serious, and most of the empty bottles were on Orlando’s side of the table, but he still had his doubts about Viggo’s sobriety. “Fine,” Orlando gestured for Viggo to continue. “Lament away. What’s so horribly wrong with you that these supposedly intelligent people had to leave?” Viggo obviously had terrible taste in lovers, but Orlando would save that revelation for later.
“It’s nothing new Orli,” Viggo sighed sounding defeated. “I just never seem to find anyone who loves me for who I really am not who they want me to be. Some people like the idea of being with an actor. They want to visit me on set and are happy to listen to me go on about my characters. But they don’t understand why I am sometimes happier in Idaho than in California, and they don’t have any patience for my more artistic pursuits. Some people have loved the part of me that is an artist. They will sit and watch me paint or listen to me work through a poem, but they hate the separations when I’m on locations. They resent the interviews and dodging photographers. None of them have been happy with all of me.”
“Your lovers aren’t stupid Viggo, they’re fucking morons. Being all those things is what makes you so special. I’ve never met anyone who can be so passionate about so many different things, and be good at all of them. That’s why I spent so much time with you in New Zealand. You could talk to me about Legolas and Aragorn, and fight like a crazy man, and then there were your pictures. They were so amazing. I want to be you when I grow up.” Orlando giggled. “If some can’t love you like you are, they don’t deserve you. I would love all of you. Well, the really stinky cigars would have to go, but everything else is good.”
Viggo looked at Orlando in a way he didn’t understand. “You’re really drunk.”
“I am,” Orlando agreed realizing all the beer was gone. “Thank you.” He kissed Viggo on the cheek before leaning back and closing his eyes. The room was starting to spin just a little.
“Any time, Orli.” He heard Viggo say as he felt a hand come to rest lightly on his shoulder.
Orlando found signing autographs after In Celebration much different than signing them along the red carpet. He still didn’t have enough time to give the fans the personal attention they wanted, but it was a more relaxed atmosphere. He could actually hear what they were saying and respond beyond generic thanks. He took the next program to sign and waited to see if there would be a specific request. He was not expecting what he heard.
“Mae carnan, mellon nin.”
Other fans had attempted to speak Elvish with him, but Orlando knew that voice. That was Aragorn. “Hannon le,” he responded without thinking, automatically slipping into Legolas’s accent.
He gave the program back and closed his hand around the hotel key card Viggo pressed into his palm. Orlando somehow refrained from hugging Viggo or otherwise drawing attention to him, but he couldn’t stop his smile from brightening. He bounced a little up on his toes as he watched Viggo walk away. Orlando managed to turn his attention to the next fan and not just take off after Viggo.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” Orlando hugged Viggo as soon as he opened the door.
“I couldn’t miss your stage debut,” Viggo hugged him back tightly. “Come on in.”
They skipped the uncomfortable looking couch and settled on Viggo’s bed. “You know we spend a lot of time in hotel rooms,” Orlando commented as he looked around.
“It’s the only way to keep our affair a secret.” Viggo kept a straight face until Orlando stuck his tongue out at him. Then they both laughed.
“How long are you here for? We should do something before I’m due back at the theater.”
“I wish we could, but I fly back to New York early in the morning,” Viggo looked disappointed.
“You mean you came just to see me?” Orlando assumed Viggo had other business in London. He couldn’t believe Viggo would go to all this trouble for him.
“I told you I didn’t want to miss this,” Viggo sounded almost disappointed at Orlando’s surprise.
“So, what did you think?” Orlando couldn’t wait any longer to ask. He forced himself to sit still, but he couldn’t help being nervous. Viggo’s opinion was important to him.
“I thought the play was good, but you were wonderful. Stephen was a difficult character, and you brought him to life for me. He’s very different from you, but from the moment you took the stage, I only saw Stephen. That’s quite an accomplishment.” Viggo smiled warmly.
Orlando didn’t even bother to hide his relief. “Thank fucking God. The reviews have been good, but if I ignore the critics when they trash me, I have to ignore them when they like me too. It means a lot to know you liked it.”
“Are you enjoying it?”
“Yeah. I’d forgotten what theater was really like. It’s a lot of work, but I love the immediate reaction. We wait so long for films to come out, but with this I’m as connected to the play as the audience is. I want to do more.”
“It’s about time you put all that fancy training of yours to use,” Viggo teased.
“My instructors probably gave up on me a long time ago,” Orlando shook his head and laughed. “But it came back a lot easier than I thought it would. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I actually know what I’m doing.”
“So you’re not missing Will Turner? We both know how hard it can be to let go of a character after such a long time.” The concern in Viggo’s voice was obvious.
“No, it was time to say goodbye to Will. Working on those films was great, don’t me wrong. I mean I love Johnny, and Kiera is amazing. But with the way those films came about it always seemed like they should have been some extension of Rings, and they could never be that. I think it’s more than time to move on.” Orlando really hoped he was starting something new with this play, a chance to start over.
“When did you get so smart?”
“Doesn’t that come with turning thirty? I still have a lot to figure out, but I think this is a good start. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being chased by photographers and trying to pick the next blockbuster. At least now I remember why I wanted to be an actor in the first place.”
“If you ever need anything, a break or just some time to yourself, Idaho is a great place to think. Hotel room rendezvous aside; you are always welcome in my home, either of them.”
“Thanks Viggo, I may take you up on that sometime.” Orlando decided it was time to change the subject. He didn’t want the little time he had with Viggo to be spent trying to fix his life. “So tell me about your new movie. I saw some pictures, and your tattoos, man they are awesome.”
They talked about Eastern Promises and some projects Orlando was considering until they both fell asleep. When Orlando woke up, he was still dressed, but his shoes were off and he was covered with a blanket. Viggo was already gone, but the happiness his visit brought lingered throughout the day.
One of the things Orlando liked about L.A. was the fact then when he really wanted to be, he could anonymous. He found a quiet out of the way theater that was playing Eastern Promises and headed out with only a minimal attempt to disguise himself. Some days he thought just leaving Sidi at home was enough to keep the photographers away. Orlando slipped into the back of the theater without anyone so much as giving him a second glance.
There were only a few dozen other people in attendance. It was nothing like the London premier that was held earlier in the week. Orlando had been disappointed when Viggo told him his filming schedule would prevent him from attending BFI’s showing of Eastern Promises. It would have been worth Orlando returning to England if he could have been there. Then maybe he would have avoided the accident that had him back in the tabloids.
The lights went down, and Orlando forced himself to forget about the chaos that had once again invaded his life. As soon the film began, he had no trouble losing himself in the action on the screen. He was drawn in from the first scene, and nothing existed for him but the dark parts of London David Cronenberg was exposing. Viggo was mesmerizing as Nikolia. There was nothing of Orlando’s friend in hardened mobster. His body, his voice, his movements were all completely transformed. In the back of his mind, Orlando couldn’t help hoping this brought Viggo some of the recognition he deserved.
Orlando thought he knew what to expect from the bathhouse fight scene. Like anyone even casually interested in the film, he’d heard about the infamous “naked knife fight.” He’d even teased Viggo about it the last time they had talked, telling him he thought it was brave of Viggo to bare all at his advanced age. Viggo downplayed the scene when Orlando had tried to ask him about it only saying he had great incentive to make sure he had all the blocking down correctly.
But nothing could compare him for how he would feel watching it. Not hearing about the scene, not being familiar with Cronenberg’s style after watching A History of Violence. He watched those men go after Viggo, and it was Viggo on that screen Orlando lost all sense of Nikolia the moment the scene began, and he wanted to stand up and stop it. He couldn’t stand to watch it, but he couldn’t look away. The level of brutality was beyond anything he had expected. All he could think was that they were hurting Viggo, and there was nothing he could do to about it.
Orlando sat through the rest of the movie, but he couldn’t recall a single second of it. He ran through the fight again and again in his mind wondering how badly Viggo had been hurt during filming. Orlando knew Viggo wasn’t careless, but when he was working for someone like Peter or David who he respected and on a project he cared about, he tended to forget his boundaries. There was no way Viggo had come through that scene unscathed. And Orlando didn’t know David; he couldn’t trust him to have protected Viggo.
The lights came up, and Orlando was alone in the theater. Realizing what he needed to do, he left quickly and began making phone calls. Orlando knew it was irrational, but he needed to see Viggo. He couldn’t get the images of the fight scene out of his head, couldn’t convince himself that Viggo wasn’t hurt. He had to get to Viggo and see for himself that he was alright.
It took a several phone calls and a few fumbled explanations to find out where Viggo was filming. Arrangements to get to him where more complicated than Orlando liked, but in less than eight hours he was standing in front of Viggo’s door. Orlando raised his hand to knock, but pulled it back when he noticed it was shaking from a combination of nerves and exhaustion. He hadn’t been able to sleep on the plane or during the long ride to the hotel. Taking a deep breath, Orlando tried to calm down and then he knocked. Since it was the middle of the night, he was surprised when there was no immediate response. He waited a few minutes and knocked again. This time he could hear movement from inside the room.
“Orlando? What?” Viggo finally opened the door still half asleep and obviously not expecting to see Orlando.
There were so many things Orlando had planned to say to Viggo. But looking at him now, still rumpled from sleep with his jeans thrown on but not fastened, no shirt or shoes, and hair sticking up in three different directions, he couldn’t remember any of them. Viggo was here in front of him looking beautiful and sexy and clearly fine, and Orlando had no idea how to explain why he was there. So he kissed him instead.
It was not a friendly kiss or a kiss of greeting. It was a kiss full of feelings Orlando didn’t even realize he had until that moment. Orlando’s hands came to gently hold Viggo’s head, and he pressed his lips softly against Viggo’s. When Viggo didn’t immediately pull away, he kissed him licking both their lips to moisten them. Once he felt Viggo begin to kiss him back, Orlando forgot all about being careful. He pulled Viggo closer and deepened the kiss.
Much too quickly, Viggo pulled away. He silently led Orlando into the room closing the door behind them. Once again Orlando found himself sitting on a hotel room couch with Viggo. Only this time, the silence wasn’t comfortable. Long minutes passed with Orlando looking at his hands, around the room, anywhere but Viggo. “Orlando, are you okay?” Viggo finally asked.
Orlando laughed because he had no idea how to answer that question. He saw the way Viggo was looking carefully at his face. He could see Viggo’s eyes move quickly, searching and he knew Viggo was checking for signs that Orlando was drunk or high or maybe just insane. Orlando sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “I’m fine, Viggo. Just really tired and embarrassed.”
“What are you doing here? Not that I mind you coming, but it’s strange time for a visit.” Viggo forced a smile, and Orlando knew he was trying to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, about that. Did you ever just need? I mean it made sense at the time because I had to come. God, I don’t know how to say this.” Orlando blew out a frustrated breath. He wasn’t making sense, but the words wouldn’t come.
Viggo reached for his hands. “Orlando, you know you can tell me anything. If you are in trouble, I’ll do anything I can to help.”
The way Viggo was looking at him Orlando figured he was one step away from calling the men in white coats. He felt bad for worrying Viggo like this. “It’s nothing like that, I swear. I went to see Eastern Promises tonight or maybe it was yesterday by now. I’m not sure. It was good, you know that. But then the knife fight started, and I kept thinking that they were hurting you. Not Nikolai, you Viggo, and I couldn’t stand that. I know you, Viggo. I know you would have let them go too far; I know you would let them hurt you to make the scene better.”
“Orlando, that scene was filmed months ago,” Viggo interrupted now both confused and concerned. “I’m fine, you know that.”
“I know, and I know this sounds crazy. I knew it was all over and you were fine, but I couldn’t make myself believe it. I needed to see you so I came here,” Orlando shrugged trying to downplay the lengths he went to in order to get to Viggo. He knew it wasn’t much of an explanation, but if he pushed Viggo would drop it. But if Orlando didn’t tell Viggo everything now, he never would, and it would always be there between them. “I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t even know why until I got here.”
Orlando looked at Viggo for the first time since he’s kissed him. Orlando thought about how over the years Viggo had become the most important person in his life, the one he counted on, the one who could always make him feel better. He thought of all the times people assumed they were more than friends, and he thought about how he felt seeing Viggo for the first time tonight. Suddenly it was easy to speak. “I love you, Viggo. I think I have for a long time. But I was always too young or stupid, or too busy and public to be what you wanted or deserved. I never thought I could be with you so I didn’t think about it. I don’t know that any of those things has changed, but I don’t care anymore. I want you to know how I feel.”
“What are you saying, Orli.”
“This is a lot to throw at you in the middle of the night, and I’m sorry for that. I’m saying that if I were your lover, I wouldn’t leave you. I told you once that I would love all of you. I think I meant that more than I realized.”
“You remember that?” Viggo interrupted smiling.
“Some of it’s a little fuzzy, but I remember the important parts.” Orlando forced himself to hold Viggo’s gaze even though he wanted to look away. He wanted Viggo to believe what he was saying. Orlando didn’t want to read anything into the softness and affection he saw in Viggo’s eyes, but it did give him courage. “I want to go to Idaho with you and read scripts with you and watch you paint. I want to tell David Cronenberg that if he ever tries to get you to do a scene like that again he’ll answer to me.”
Viggo laughed a little but didn’t say anything. Orlando realized that he may have said too much. “I want you to know how I feel Viggo, but I don’t expect anything from you. I know you don’t feel the same way.”
Orlando tried not to squirm in the silence that followed. He knew Viggo would need time to figure out how to respond, and he wanted to give Viggo that time. Viggo tended to weigh his words carefully especially when he talked about his feelings. Orlando trusted Viggo not to hurt him, and he just hoped they could come out of this still friends. He sat patiently while Viggo seemed to study him.
“My feelings have never been the problem,” Viggo finally said. “You have been in my heart for a long time, Orlando. The potential of what we could have together has always been there, but like you said the time was never right. I would have wanted something from you that you weren’t able to give. So I put that aside and let your friendship be enough, and I tried to build a life with other people. But I always hoped that someday I would be free to love you.”
What Viggo was offering sounded too good to be true. Orlando had to be sure. “My life is still a mess Viggo. You saw what happened after the accident. I never wanted to drag you into that, and if we do this, I can’t promise that won’t happen. I don’t want you do say anything you’ll regret. Being your friend is wonderful, and it’s been enough for a long time. I don’t want to lose that.”
“I know your life can be difficult, but like you said some of the things that have kept us apart aren’t as important anymore. Henry is an adult now, and I don’t have to work as hard to protect him. You know it’s possible for us to be together and be discreet. It won’t be easy, but I think we are both at a place in our lives were we can handle it. I think it’s worth the risk.” Viggo reached a hand out to Orlando, and Orlando didn’t hesitate to move in his arms.
Orlando couldn’t begin to describe how wonderful it felt to be held by Viggo. Even as friends, they had touched often, but this was different. There was no hesitation, no attempt to maintain even a slight distance. When Viggo leaned down to kiss him it felt like the most natural thing in the world. The kiss built slowly as they took their time to learn the feel of each other’s mouth, to let their tongues explore, and to let themselves become comfortable with this new level of intimacy.
They were both breathless when they finally broke apart. “Now what?” Orlando asked hesitantly.
“Right now I’d like you to come to bed and sleep with me.”
“Just sleep?” Orlando teased raising his eyebrow.
“For tonight. I have to be back on set in,” Viggo turned to look at the clock, “four hours, and I know you have to be exhausted. So tonight I want to sleep with you in my arms and wake up with you in the morning.”
“And tomorrow?” Orlando hated to ask, but he still needed some assurance that this was real.
“Tomorrow we let ourselves fall,” Viggo looked at Orlando with such hope and love that his whole face lit up.
Orlando smiled back hoping Viggo could see the same feelings reflected back at him. They had loved each other for a long time, but Orlando knew that had both kept those feelings in check always on the edge of something more. Now it was finally time to let go. “Together,” Orlando said aloud as he reached for Viggo’s hand. They entwined their fingers, and Viggo led them to the bedroom and to their future.
Title: I Could Fall In Love With You
Fandom and Pairing: LOTR RPF Viggo/Orlando
vo_xmas Gift For: ancabell who requested would like to get a fic in which Viggo and Orli are only friends (at least until the end), very realistic, and I want the end to be surprising! I don’t like PWP, and really schmoopy stuff (baby, angel and the like...)Summary: Orlando had always believed in love at first sight. At least until it took him eight years to fall in love with Viggo.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Warnings: None
Notes: Thank you to my amazing beta
phnx_rising. Title is taken from the Erasure song of the same name. “So what’s he like,” Dom bumped Orlando’s shoulder as he sat down and joined him in watching Aragorn battle some Orks, “in bed?”
“Who?” Orlando asked absently.
“Viggo, who else?”
Orlando turned and finally gave Dom his full attention. “How the bloody fuck would I know?”
“Oh come on Orli, everyone knows you two have been shagging for months.”
“What? No, we’re not shagging. Why would anyone think that?” That was a crazy idea even for Dom.
“You spend a lot of time together,” Dom said as if that was enough of a reason.
“We’re friends.”
“It’s more than that. You guys have dinner together all the time. You go camping together, and you talk about him all the time.”
“We’re just friends,” Orlando became more insistent.
“But you sleep with blokes, right?”
“Sometimes,” Orlando shrugged. He had sex with a few guys, but when he thought of being with someone it was usually a woman.
“But not with Viggo?” Dom sounded skeptical.
Orlando shook his head. The conversation was getting ridiculous.
“Why not?” Dom watched Viggo charge at the Orks, his gaze appraising. “If you ask me, he’s dead sexy.”
It’s not like Orlando could argue with that. “We’re friends,” he repeated again knowing it wouldn’t satisfy Dom. “Viggo’s great. I mean he can do anything, and he has all these great stories about the places his been and the crazy things he’s done. And he listens to me when I want to talk about Legolas or acting or whatever. I’ve never met anyone like him before, but he’s got a kid.”
“So, it’s not like Henry’s here.”
“It’s not Henry specifically,” Orlando struggled to find a way to explain it. “It’s just, well you’ve heard Viggo talk about Henry. He wants to make sure Henry has as normal and stable a life as possible. And that doesn’t include fooling around with someone like me. I have no idea what I’m doing when we’re done here, but I don’t think it’s going to be stable.”
“So no shagging then.”
“No shagging.”
“That’s a shame,” Dom said his eyes lingering on Viggo’s ass.
There was nothing Orlando could say to that so he remained silent. He resisted the urge to warn Dom away from Viggo, and sighed with relief when Dom wandered off to find Billy.
Walking into the restaurant, Orlando couldn’t help but feel nervous. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, flying over from Australia to meet up with anyone around for reshoots. He’d been disappointed when his obligations on the Ned Kelly set prevented him from participating, and when Viggo told him about the reunion dinner he was having, Orlando quickly made arrangements to attend. But now he wondered if he still belonged in Middle Earth.
Liv squealed when she saw him, jumping to her feet and gushing about his new look while hugging and kissing him. Orlando eventually managed to break free. He shared quiet greetings and handshakes with the rest of the table before reaching Viggo.
Viggo stood and looked Orlando over before speaking, “You’re looking a lot more like a filthy human than elf these days.”
Without even thinking about it, Orlando answered in Legolas’s voice. “No matter the disguise, be assured the blood of an immortal still courses through my veins. You cannot claim the same.”
Viggo threw back his head and laughed before pulling Orlando into a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you Elf Boy,” he whispered into Orlando’s ear.
“It’s good to see you, Old Man.” Orlando sat next Viggo finally feeling at home.
Later, he and Viggo walked along the river guided by the moon Orlando had admired earlier. “So how are things going with the new movie?” Viggo asked.
“Great. Everyone is really nice, and we are having a lot of fun. Heath’s a blast. Not as crazy as the Hobbits, but then who is? What do you think of the accent?” Orlando had been using his Irish accent even off set. It was easier than switching back and forth.
Viggo ignored the question. “So everything is great. But. . .?”
When Orlando didn’t answer right away, Viggo kept walking, letting the silence grow between them. Orlando sighed and gave in; he knew Viggo would wait as long as he had to for a response. “But it’s not Rings. I know you told me how special what we had here was, and I thought I understood, but I really didn’t.”
“Every movie experience is different. Some are better than others, and Rings was certainly extraordinary, but that doesn’t mean others won’t be special to. There is always something good and unique to take away from a film.”
“I know, and I’m not complaining even though it sounds like I am. I really am having a great time doing this movie. But I still miss this. That’s why I wanted to be here tonight.”
“Rings is far from over so you don’t need to miss it just yet. We have years of premieres and interviews left. I think we all know these films will always be part of our lives. You are lucky to have had this experience so early in your career. You know what can be, and that will make you a better actor and a better cast member. But even when these films are truly over, you’ll still have your memories, and you’ll still have the Fellowship. You can count on that.”
“Thanks, Viggo.” Orlando didn’t know how Viggo always knew the right thing to say, but he did. He hit on Orlando’s greatest fear that as time past he would lose touch with all the things that made Rings so special especially the people.
“And in case you are still wondering, the accent’s adorable,” Viggo winked at Orlando.
“Adorable!” Orlando protested. “I’ll have you know this accent is considered very sexy. Mysterious and brooding, I’ve been told.”
“Whatever you say, Elf Boy.”
There were both laughing as they headed back toward the restaurant.
When the first December without a Lord of the Rings premiere came around, Orlando checked his schedule daily convinced he was forgetting to do something. When he finally realized what was missing, he picked up the phone. He started to dial half a dozen different numbers before calling Viggo.
“So do you feel like we should be in a theater somewhere making fun of the Hobbits, or is it just me?” Orlando asked as soon as Viggo answered.
Viggo chuckled. “No, it’s not you. I think everyone is feeling a bit lost. At least that’s what the number of phone calls I’ve gotten in the last week seems to indicate.”
Orlando nodded even though Viggo couldn’t see him. Viggo was their king, their leader; he wasn’t surprised other people had called him. “I didn’t expect to miss it like this. I thought maybe Pirates could fill the gap, but it’s not the same.”
“Nothing ever will be, but I’ve told you before Orlando the experience doesn’t end with the movies. The relationships we formed are stronger than that.”
“I wanted to come, you know, to Dom’s. I planned to be there, but then Kate had her premier, and it was in London so I felt like I had to go.” Orlando looked down and fussed with the cord he wore around his wrist.
“Orlando, you don’t have to explain. We all have different schedules now, and everyone understands that.” Viggo’s voice was gentle, understanding.
But Orlando did want to explain. He wanted Viggo to know how much he had wanted to be there. His plans had been made until Kate insisted he go with her, and Robin backed her up. They told him that Kate was his future, and he needed to focus on that instead of living in the past. His career had moved beyond Lord of the Rings, they said, and it was time he did too. Orlando didn’t feel that way, but it had been easier to give in. He regretted it now. “I don’t want you to think it wasn’t important to me. I don’t want anyone to think I’ve forgotten.”
“You know better than that.” Now Viggo sounded like the king he was to them. “Anything you read about jealousies and resentment is bullshit. We are all happy for the opportunities you’ve earned just like you’re happy when someone else succeeds. You can’t let stuff like that get to you.”
Dom had told Orlando the same thing the one time he’d asked, and most of the time Orlando believed it. But he also knew how easy it was to grow away from your friends. There were people he met at school who he thought would be his friends forever, and somehow they became some people who loved spreading rumors about him. He didn’t want that to happen with the Fellowship. Orlando sighed and picked at the seam of his jeans. “I’m sorry Viggo. I’m just being silly. I shouldn’t have called.”
“You can always call me. Elves are prone to pining you know, and I wouldn’t want you wasting away.”
“Pining! Elves do not pine,” Orlando responded automatically to Viggo’s teasing. “I wasn’t the one dreaming of some girl who left me for her homeland.”
“But she didn’t leave because I am irresistible.”
Orlando snorted. “I always thought it was your sword Arwen was after.”
“My sword!’ Viggo laughed loudly. “You’re just jealous because no one lusted after your little daggers.”
“Hey, I have a sword now, and I know how to use it.”
“You do?” Viggo continued to bait Orlando.
“I rock with the sword. I could take you now.” Orlando boasted.
“You’re that good?” Viggo sounded doubtful. “Did Bob tell you that?”
“Well, not in those exact words,” Orlando hedged.
“That’s because I am the master swordsman.”
“We’ll see about that. I challenge you to a duel the next time we see it each other.”
“Bring it on, Elf Boy.”
“Let’s just hope you aren’t too feeble to lift your sword by then Old Man.”
When Viggo finally stopped laughing, they made plans to try and meet in a few months. Once he hung up, Orlando realized he felt better than he had in weeks. Calling Viggo had been a great idea.
Orlando ignored the first knock on his hotel room door. He didn’t have to be anywhere until the press conference tomorrow, and he had no intention of seeing anyone before then. He needed all the time he could get to figure out what he was going to say, to decide how to explain another failure. But the knocking didn’t stop so he dragged himself to the door.
“Hey Viggo, I didn’t expect to see you.” Orlando tried to rearrange his face into a smile. He’d heard Viggo’s film had done extremely well, and he didn’t want to drag Viggo down. “Congratulations on the screening. I imagine you and David are shoe ins for Oscar nominations now.”
“Orli,” Viggo tried to interrupt when Orlando paused briefly.
Orlando kept talking as he stepped back to let Viggo in. He didn’t want Viggo’s sympathy; he’d much rather focus on Viggo’s success. “I would have thought you’d still be at the party. Everyone must be so excited. I would have stopped by, but I think I’ve given Robin enough to deal with already. I want to see it soon.”
“Orlando, stop.” This time Viggo was insistent. He pulled Orlando into a hug and just held him there.
Relaxing into Viggo’s embrace, Orlando let Viggo take his weight. He let himself be comforted for just a moment before pulling back. “I’m okay, Viggo. You shouldn’t be here. Someone might”
That’s as far as he got before Viggo cut him off, his voice sharp with anger. “This is where I want to be. I don’t care what Robin says. No one knows I’m here,” he finished more quietly.
Orlando didn’t bother arguing further. He wanted Viggo there with him more than he wanted to fight about discretion. He hadn’t understood when Robin first started telling him he needed to stop talking about Viggo and to make sure they weren’t seen together. He’d thought she was overreacting to what happened at the Return of the King premiers just like the executives had. Orlando had been angry and frustrated, and he’d fought Robin a long time on that issue.
Eventually she had convinced Orlando it wasn’t just his career and reputation that could be damaged. Not that Robin cared about Viggo, but she’d finally found an argument he would listen to. Viggo had always maintained a fairly low profile. Orlando knew how important it was for him to keep his life as stable as possible for Henry. That was one of the many things he admired about Viggo. Once Orlando became a tabloid favorite, it became easy to see how Viggo could get pulled into that. He didn’t want people calling Viggo for his reaction to whatever the current rumor about Orlando was. He didn’t want Viggo’s picture to be taken by some photographer who was following Orlando. If keeping their continued friendship a secret protected Viggo from all that, Orlando would do it happily.
But days like this made it hard. He couldn’t accept the support Viggo was offering with simple gratitude. Instead he had to wonder if there would be consequences for both of them or if he would have to barter away a little more of his freedom in exchange for tonight. Orlando made concessions he never would have dreamed of every day in the name of fame, but tonight he was too tired. He couldn’t bring himself to send Viggo away.
Orlando collapsed on the couch not sure what to say. He knew there was a joke he should make, something to break the tension and let Viggo know he was fine, but the words wouldn’t come.
“Do you want a drink?”
“No, I think the only thing that make all this worse would be showing up tomorrow with a hangover. But help yourself.” Orlando gestured in the direction of the minibar.
Viggo smiled and shook his head. “I’ve had enough tonight.”
“Champagne doesn’t count,” Orlando teased. But he closed his eyes against the image of the unopened bottles that were meant to celebrate Elizabethtown. He leaned against Viggo when he felt him sit down next to him. “Viggo, what am I doing wrong?”
“Nothing,” Viggo said with such conviction that Orlando almost believed him.
“Kingdom of Heaven was hard, you know. It was my first shot at the lead role, and it couldn’t have gone worse. But everyone convinced me it wasn’t my fault. Maybe I just heard what I needed to hear, that it was the editing or the lack of focus on character not my performance that was the real problem. I told myself I did my best, and I still had Elizabethtown. I really believed in this story. I wanted to do it justice, and I thought I had, but it looks like I failed again.” Putting into words just made Orlando feel worse.
“I haven’t seen Elizabethtown, but there is one thing I know about you that I’m sure hasn’t changed. Orlando, you always give everything you can to a role. It was one of the first things I noticed about you in New Zealand. You gave yourself completely over to Legolas. Even when a scene didn’t call for you to do more than look at something, you never gave a half hearted performance. No one can ask more than that, and as long as you do that you can be proud of your work regardless of the reaction.”
“That sounds good, Viggo, but it’s hard to do when you are the one being ripped to shreds. How do I just shrug that off?”
Viggo laughed. “I’m not saying it’s easy. Don’t forget I was in my forties when we did Rings, and that was my first real success. I have years of experience with failures and disappointments. It does get easier.”
Orlando opened his eyes and glared at Viggo. “I thought you were supposed to be cheering me up not reminded me how many more disasters I have in my future.”
“I’m just saying every actor has movies that don’t live up to expectations. There are a million reasons that have nothing to do with your performance. You can only control what you do. Everything else is out of your hands. The only way to survive in this business is to learn to accept that. All you can do is go on to the next project and hope for the best.”
“And if I run out of hope?”
“Then maybe it’s time to find something else to do. But Orlando, I think you are a long way from running out of hope.”
“If you tell me things will look better in the morning, I reserve the right to kill you,” Orlando knew Viggo was right, and someday what he was saying would help, but not right now.
“No more platitudes, I promise. What if I tell you about the last time Henry and I were in Idaho instead? Henry had a huge crush on one of the waitresses, and was less than subtle in his pursuit.”
Orlando smiled for what felt like the first time in hours. He leaned his head on Viggo’s shoulder. “That sounds good.”
Two weeks after Orlando broke up with Kate for the last time, Viggo showed up at his hotel room with a case of really good beer. “Did I sound that bad on the phone?” Orlando asked eyeing the beer suspiciously.
“No, but some situations call for a little traditional male bonding.” Viggo gave Orlando a one armed hug before pushing past him into the suite. He sat on the couch and put both his feet and the beer on the coffee table. “Come join me,” Viggo beckoned practically leering at Orlando.
“Bean put you up to this didn’t he? He thinks beer is the answer to everything.” Orlando shut the door and leaned against with his arms crossed. He made no move to join Viggo.
“While Bean is the self declared expert on break-ups, he has nothing to do with my being here.” Viggo opened a beer and help it out toward Orlando.
“So there’s no plot to get the Elf drunk and humiliate him?” It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Viggo, but he’d learned to be suspicious of surprise visits. He was one up on Bean in the practical joke department, and he wouldn’t put it past him to recruit Viggo to even the score.
“No plots, just one friend checking up on another.”
“Fine,” Orlando gave in and sat next to Viggo. “Give me that,” he snatched the beer from Viggo’s hand.
Viggo laughed and opened another for himself. “So how does it feel to be single again?”
Orlando shrugged. “I’m not looking for anyone new just yet, but it’s not like this hasn’t been coming.”
“I was a little surprised when you two got back together,” Viggo said carefully.
Viggo knew more about Orlando’s relationship with Kate than almost anybody. He knew how much Orlando cared about Kate, but that no matter how hard he tried, he’d never quite been able to fall in love with her. The only thing that made that almost bearable was knowing Kate hadn’t really loved him either. “I think I need more beer if we are going to talk about this.”
Viggo waited until Orlando finished his next beer before speaking again. “I’m not criticizing, Orlando. But that decision never seemed to make you happy, and that’s what I’d like for you.”
“I wanted things to work with Kate, you know that. I just kept thinking if I tried harder it would somehow all work out. But I guess you can only try to love someone for so long before you have to admit it’s just not going to happen.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I really am which says something I guess. I just don’t want to make the same mistake again. When I first met Kate, she was beautiful and sweet and funny. She knew the business, and she loved dogs. She was everything I thought I wanted, and I was so sure I could love her. I remember thinking it wasn’t love at first sight, but it was close enough.” Orlando shook his head and laughed bitterly. “God, I was so bloody stupid. I should have known it was too easy.”
“Love is never easy,” was Viggo’s only reply.
“That’s cryptic even for you,” Orlando laughed. “Is that your sage love advice, Old Man?”
“Fuck Orlando, I am the last person you’d want love advice from. Okay maybe Beanie would be last.” They both snorted. “But I definitely haven’t figured out love. In the time you were with Kate I had two people leave me.”
Orlando had never met either of Viggo’s lovers. He only knew them from the bits and pieces Viggo told him and what he’d heard from Henry and Dom. He knew there had been a girlfriend Henry secretly hated, and a boyfriend he’d really liked right up until the end. One break-up had been friendly, and the other had broken Viggo’s heart. Orlando would never forget calling to check on Viggo and having Henry tell him Viggo had been locked in his studio for days and as far as he could tell wasn’t eating or sleeping. Even years later, Orlando knew if he ever met Paul he’d kill him.
“They were stupid, you know, for leaving you.”
“I’ll be sure to pass that on.” Viggo smiled a little.
“I’m bloody well doomed you know. If you can’t find love, what the fuck chance do I have? Fuck this is a depressing conversation. When did you become such a morose drunk?”
“I’m not drunk. This is how you console your broken hearted friend, by lamenting your own lost loves.”
Viggo sounded serious, and most of the empty bottles were on Orlando’s side of the table, but he still had his doubts about Viggo’s sobriety. “Fine,” Orlando gestured for Viggo to continue. “Lament away. What’s so horribly wrong with you that these supposedly intelligent people had to leave?” Viggo obviously had terrible taste in lovers, but Orlando would save that revelation for later.
“It’s nothing new Orli,” Viggo sighed sounding defeated. “I just never seem to find anyone who loves me for who I really am not who they want me to be. Some people like the idea of being with an actor. They want to visit me on set and are happy to listen to me go on about my characters. But they don’t understand why I am sometimes happier in Idaho than in California, and they don’t have any patience for my more artistic pursuits. Some people have loved the part of me that is an artist. They will sit and watch me paint or listen to me work through a poem, but they hate the separations when I’m on locations. They resent the interviews and dodging photographers. None of them have been happy with all of me.”
“Your lovers aren’t stupid Viggo, they’re fucking morons. Being all those things is what makes you so special. I’ve never met anyone who can be so passionate about so many different things, and be good at all of them. That’s why I spent so much time with you in New Zealand. You could talk to me about Legolas and Aragorn, and fight like a crazy man, and then there were your pictures. They were so amazing. I want to be you when I grow up.” Orlando giggled. “If some can’t love you like you are, they don’t deserve you. I would love all of you. Well, the really stinky cigars would have to go, but everything else is good.”
Viggo looked at Orlando in a way he didn’t understand. “You’re really drunk.”
“I am,” Orlando agreed realizing all the beer was gone. “Thank you.” He kissed Viggo on the cheek before leaning back and closing his eyes. The room was starting to spin just a little.
“Any time, Orli.” He heard Viggo say as he felt a hand come to rest lightly on his shoulder.
Orlando found signing autographs after In Celebration much different than signing them along the red carpet. He still didn’t have enough time to give the fans the personal attention they wanted, but it was a more relaxed atmosphere. He could actually hear what they were saying and respond beyond generic thanks. He took the next program to sign and waited to see if there would be a specific request. He was not expecting what he heard.
“Mae carnan, mellon nin.”
Other fans had attempted to speak Elvish with him, but Orlando knew that voice. That was Aragorn. “Hannon le,” he responded without thinking, automatically slipping into Legolas’s accent.
He gave the program back and closed his hand around the hotel key card Viggo pressed into his palm. Orlando somehow refrained from hugging Viggo or otherwise drawing attention to him, but he couldn’t stop his smile from brightening. He bounced a little up on his toes as he watched Viggo walk away. Orlando managed to turn his attention to the next fan and not just take off after Viggo.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” Orlando hugged Viggo as soon as he opened the door.
“I couldn’t miss your stage debut,” Viggo hugged him back tightly. “Come on in.”
They skipped the uncomfortable looking couch and settled on Viggo’s bed. “You know we spend a lot of time in hotel rooms,” Orlando commented as he looked around.
“It’s the only way to keep our affair a secret.” Viggo kept a straight face until Orlando stuck his tongue out at him. Then they both laughed.
“How long are you here for? We should do something before I’m due back at the theater.”
“I wish we could, but I fly back to New York early in the morning,” Viggo looked disappointed.
“You mean you came just to see me?” Orlando assumed Viggo had other business in London. He couldn’t believe Viggo would go to all this trouble for him.
“I told you I didn’t want to miss this,” Viggo sounded almost disappointed at Orlando’s surprise.
“So, what did you think?” Orlando couldn’t wait any longer to ask. He forced himself to sit still, but he couldn’t help being nervous. Viggo’s opinion was important to him.
“I thought the play was good, but you were wonderful. Stephen was a difficult character, and you brought him to life for me. He’s very different from you, but from the moment you took the stage, I only saw Stephen. That’s quite an accomplishment.” Viggo smiled warmly.
Orlando didn’t even bother to hide his relief. “Thank fucking God. The reviews have been good, but if I ignore the critics when they trash me, I have to ignore them when they like me too. It means a lot to know you liked it.”
“Are you enjoying it?”
“Yeah. I’d forgotten what theater was really like. It’s a lot of work, but I love the immediate reaction. We wait so long for films to come out, but with this I’m as connected to the play as the audience is. I want to do more.”
“It’s about time you put all that fancy training of yours to use,” Viggo teased.
“My instructors probably gave up on me a long time ago,” Orlando shook his head and laughed. “But it came back a lot easier than I thought it would. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I actually know what I’m doing.”
“So you’re not missing Will Turner? We both know how hard it can be to let go of a character after such a long time.” The concern in Viggo’s voice was obvious.
“No, it was time to say goodbye to Will. Working on those films was great, don’t me wrong. I mean I love Johnny, and Kiera is amazing. But with the way those films came about it always seemed like they should have been some extension of Rings, and they could never be that. I think it’s more than time to move on.” Orlando really hoped he was starting something new with this play, a chance to start over.
“When did you get so smart?”
“Doesn’t that come with turning thirty? I still have a lot to figure out, but I think this is a good start. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being chased by photographers and trying to pick the next blockbuster. At least now I remember why I wanted to be an actor in the first place.”
“If you ever need anything, a break or just some time to yourself, Idaho is a great place to think. Hotel room rendezvous aside; you are always welcome in my home, either of them.”
“Thanks Viggo, I may take you up on that sometime.” Orlando decided it was time to change the subject. He didn’t want the little time he had with Viggo to be spent trying to fix his life. “So tell me about your new movie. I saw some pictures, and your tattoos, man they are awesome.”
They talked about Eastern Promises and some projects Orlando was considering until they both fell asleep. When Orlando woke up, he was still dressed, but his shoes were off and he was covered with a blanket. Viggo was already gone, but the happiness his visit brought lingered throughout the day.
One of the things Orlando liked about L.A. was the fact then when he really wanted to be, he could anonymous. He found a quiet out of the way theater that was playing Eastern Promises and headed out with only a minimal attempt to disguise himself. Some days he thought just leaving Sidi at home was enough to keep the photographers away. Orlando slipped into the back of the theater without anyone so much as giving him a second glance.
There were only a few dozen other people in attendance. It was nothing like the London premier that was held earlier in the week. Orlando had been disappointed when Viggo told him his filming schedule would prevent him from attending BFI’s showing of Eastern Promises. It would have been worth Orlando returning to England if he could have been there. Then maybe he would have avoided the accident that had him back in the tabloids.
The lights went down, and Orlando forced himself to forget about the chaos that had once again invaded his life. As soon the film began, he had no trouble losing himself in the action on the screen. He was drawn in from the first scene, and nothing existed for him but the dark parts of London David Cronenberg was exposing. Viggo was mesmerizing as Nikolia. There was nothing of Orlando’s friend in hardened mobster. His body, his voice, his movements were all completely transformed. In the back of his mind, Orlando couldn’t help hoping this brought Viggo some of the recognition he deserved.
Orlando thought he knew what to expect from the bathhouse fight scene. Like anyone even casually interested in the film, he’d heard about the infamous “naked knife fight.” He’d even teased Viggo about it the last time they had talked, telling him he thought it was brave of Viggo to bare all at his advanced age. Viggo downplayed the scene when Orlando had tried to ask him about it only saying he had great incentive to make sure he had all the blocking down correctly.
But nothing could compare him for how he would feel watching it. Not hearing about the scene, not being familiar with Cronenberg’s style after watching A History of Violence. He watched those men go after Viggo, and it was Viggo on that screen Orlando lost all sense of Nikolia the moment the scene began, and he wanted to stand up and stop it. He couldn’t stand to watch it, but he couldn’t look away. The level of brutality was beyond anything he had expected. All he could think was that they were hurting Viggo, and there was nothing he could do to about it.
Orlando sat through the rest of the movie, but he couldn’t recall a single second of it. He ran through the fight again and again in his mind wondering how badly Viggo had been hurt during filming. Orlando knew Viggo wasn’t careless, but when he was working for someone like Peter or David who he respected and on a project he cared about, he tended to forget his boundaries. There was no way Viggo had come through that scene unscathed. And Orlando didn’t know David; he couldn’t trust him to have protected Viggo.
The lights came up, and Orlando was alone in the theater. Realizing what he needed to do, he left quickly and began making phone calls. Orlando knew it was irrational, but he needed to see Viggo. He couldn’t get the images of the fight scene out of his head, couldn’t convince himself that Viggo wasn’t hurt. He had to get to Viggo and see for himself that he was alright.
It took a several phone calls and a few fumbled explanations to find out where Viggo was filming. Arrangements to get to him where more complicated than Orlando liked, but in less than eight hours he was standing in front of Viggo’s door. Orlando raised his hand to knock, but pulled it back when he noticed it was shaking from a combination of nerves and exhaustion. He hadn’t been able to sleep on the plane or during the long ride to the hotel. Taking a deep breath, Orlando tried to calm down and then he knocked. Since it was the middle of the night, he was surprised when there was no immediate response. He waited a few minutes and knocked again. This time he could hear movement from inside the room.
“Orlando? What?” Viggo finally opened the door still half asleep and obviously not expecting to see Orlando.
There were so many things Orlando had planned to say to Viggo. But looking at him now, still rumpled from sleep with his jeans thrown on but not fastened, no shirt or shoes, and hair sticking up in three different directions, he couldn’t remember any of them. Viggo was here in front of him looking beautiful and sexy and clearly fine, and Orlando had no idea how to explain why he was there. So he kissed him instead.
It was not a friendly kiss or a kiss of greeting. It was a kiss full of feelings Orlando didn’t even realize he had until that moment. Orlando’s hands came to gently hold Viggo’s head, and he pressed his lips softly against Viggo’s. When Viggo didn’t immediately pull away, he kissed him licking both their lips to moisten them. Once he felt Viggo begin to kiss him back, Orlando forgot all about being careful. He pulled Viggo closer and deepened the kiss.
Much too quickly, Viggo pulled away. He silently led Orlando into the room closing the door behind them. Once again Orlando found himself sitting on a hotel room couch with Viggo. Only this time, the silence wasn’t comfortable. Long minutes passed with Orlando looking at his hands, around the room, anywhere but Viggo. “Orlando, are you okay?” Viggo finally asked.
Orlando laughed because he had no idea how to answer that question. He saw the way Viggo was looking carefully at his face. He could see Viggo’s eyes move quickly, searching and he knew Viggo was checking for signs that Orlando was drunk or high or maybe just insane. Orlando sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “I’m fine, Viggo. Just really tired and embarrassed.”
“What are you doing here? Not that I mind you coming, but it’s strange time for a visit.” Viggo forced a smile, and Orlando knew he was trying to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, about that. Did you ever just need? I mean it made sense at the time because I had to come. God, I don’t know how to say this.” Orlando blew out a frustrated breath. He wasn’t making sense, but the words wouldn’t come.
Viggo reached for his hands. “Orlando, you know you can tell me anything. If you are in trouble, I’ll do anything I can to help.”
The way Viggo was looking at him Orlando figured he was one step away from calling the men in white coats. He felt bad for worrying Viggo like this. “It’s nothing like that, I swear. I went to see Eastern Promises tonight or maybe it was yesterday by now. I’m not sure. It was good, you know that. But then the knife fight started, and I kept thinking that they were hurting you. Not Nikolai, you Viggo, and I couldn’t stand that. I know you, Viggo. I know you would have let them go too far; I know you would let them hurt you to make the scene better.”
“Orlando, that scene was filmed months ago,” Viggo interrupted now both confused and concerned. “I’m fine, you know that.”
“I know, and I know this sounds crazy. I knew it was all over and you were fine, but I couldn’t make myself believe it. I needed to see you so I came here,” Orlando shrugged trying to downplay the lengths he went to in order to get to Viggo. He knew it wasn’t much of an explanation, but if he pushed Viggo would drop it. But if Orlando didn’t tell Viggo everything now, he never would, and it would always be there between them. “I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t even know why until I got here.”
Orlando looked at Viggo for the first time since he’s kissed him. Orlando thought about how over the years Viggo had become the most important person in his life, the one he counted on, the one who could always make him feel better. He thought of all the times people assumed they were more than friends, and he thought about how he felt seeing Viggo for the first time tonight. Suddenly it was easy to speak. “I love you, Viggo. I think I have for a long time. But I was always too young or stupid, or too busy and public to be what you wanted or deserved. I never thought I could be with you so I didn’t think about it. I don’t know that any of those things has changed, but I don’t care anymore. I want you to know how I feel.”
“What are you saying, Orli.”
“This is a lot to throw at you in the middle of the night, and I’m sorry for that. I’m saying that if I were your lover, I wouldn’t leave you. I told you once that I would love all of you. I think I meant that more than I realized.”
“You remember that?” Viggo interrupted smiling.
“Some of it’s a little fuzzy, but I remember the important parts.” Orlando forced himself to hold Viggo’s gaze even though he wanted to look away. He wanted Viggo to believe what he was saying. Orlando didn’t want to read anything into the softness and affection he saw in Viggo’s eyes, but it did give him courage. “I want to go to Idaho with you and read scripts with you and watch you paint. I want to tell David Cronenberg that if he ever tries to get you to do a scene like that again he’ll answer to me.”
Viggo laughed a little but didn’t say anything. Orlando realized that he may have said too much. “I want you to know how I feel Viggo, but I don’t expect anything from you. I know you don’t feel the same way.”
Orlando tried not to squirm in the silence that followed. He knew Viggo would need time to figure out how to respond, and he wanted to give Viggo that time. Viggo tended to weigh his words carefully especially when he talked about his feelings. Orlando trusted Viggo not to hurt him, and he just hoped they could come out of this still friends. He sat patiently while Viggo seemed to study him.
“My feelings have never been the problem,” Viggo finally said. “You have been in my heart for a long time, Orlando. The potential of what we could have together has always been there, but like you said the time was never right. I would have wanted something from you that you weren’t able to give. So I put that aside and let your friendship be enough, and I tried to build a life with other people. But I always hoped that someday I would be free to love you.”
What Viggo was offering sounded too good to be true. Orlando had to be sure. “My life is still a mess Viggo. You saw what happened after the accident. I never wanted to drag you into that, and if we do this, I can’t promise that won’t happen. I don’t want you do say anything you’ll regret. Being your friend is wonderful, and it’s been enough for a long time. I don’t want to lose that.”
“I know your life can be difficult, but like you said some of the things that have kept us apart aren’t as important anymore. Henry is an adult now, and I don’t have to work as hard to protect him. You know it’s possible for us to be together and be discreet. It won’t be easy, but I think we are both at a place in our lives were we can handle it. I think it’s worth the risk.” Viggo reached a hand out to Orlando, and Orlando didn’t hesitate to move in his arms.
Orlando couldn’t begin to describe how wonderful it felt to be held by Viggo. Even as friends, they had touched often, but this was different. There was no hesitation, no attempt to maintain even a slight distance. When Viggo leaned down to kiss him it felt like the most natural thing in the world. The kiss built slowly as they took their time to learn the feel of each other’s mouth, to let their tongues explore, and to let themselves become comfortable with this new level of intimacy.
They were both breathless when they finally broke apart. “Now what?” Orlando asked hesitantly.
“Right now I’d like you to come to bed and sleep with me.”
“Just sleep?” Orlando teased raising his eyebrow.
“For tonight. I have to be back on set in,” Viggo turned to look at the clock, “four hours, and I know you have to be exhausted. So tonight I want to sleep with you in my arms and wake up with you in the morning.”
“And tomorrow?” Orlando hated to ask, but he still needed some assurance that this was real.
“Tomorrow we let ourselves fall,” Viggo looked at Orlando with such hope and love that his whole face lit up.
Orlando smiled back hoping Viggo could see the same feelings reflected back at him. They had loved each other for a long time, but Orlando knew that had both kept those feelings in check always on the edge of something more. Now it was finally time to let go. “Together,” Orlando said aloud as he reached for Viggo’s hand. They entwined their fingers, and Viggo led them to the bedroom and to their future.
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Date: 2008-01-01 05:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-03 09:16 pm (UTC)PS: I have an insanejournal with the same name if you aren't doing LJ anymore.