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jule1122Despite some reports, it did not snow yesterday. I was actually a bit disappointed. I like snow and would have preferred it to the cold rain we did get. All in all I had a nice day. I'm not big on my birthday anymore, but there are a few things I like about it. I share it with my mother which is nice, and it's on Earth Day which suits me. For those of you who are bored enough to be interested:
As I said it was a good day. My husband got up with the boys so I could sleep and made me breakfast. Actually, he started had to leave to go on an auto accident came back later and finished. Then he took the boys so I could go shopping for my mom. We are doing the family thing tomorrow, but I wanted to get it done. Found a new Morrissey CD and bought one for each of us. Happy Birthday to me! Then Mom came early to watch the boys so Rick and I could go th their godmother's band concert and to dinner. Stopped by my mother-in-law's. Her boyfriend gave me a dozen roses. Very nice day.
I still have some issues with my birthday. I reread my entry from last year, and while it was rather restrained it did reflect how I felt. Not much has changed. To recap, on my birthday 2 years ago I was admitted to the hospital with pregnancy complications and wouldn't leave until the boys were born. I was only 24 weeks and the goal was to hold on as long as possible to increase their odds for survival. I dreamt the night before my birthday I was pregnant. There were a few different versions, but in all of them something was wrong. No shock there. That was the worst day in my disastrous pregnancy. Although worse things happened, that day I had to face the fact that I was going to fail at the one thing I wanted more than anything. There was no hope of salvaging a normal pregnancy. I thought my failures with infertility were bad, but there is nothing like realizing your body's inability to do what it supposed will hurt your children perhaps even killing them. I was so scared and ashamed. I imagine these feelings will lesson with time, but it still makes me dread my birthday a bit.
Now for the amazing part. My husband astounds me. We hadn't talked about my birthday at all, and as far as I knew he hadn't been shopping. I figured he'd get something before sunday, but I really didn't care. There isn't much I want, and he's sending me to Chicago next weekend with my mother and sister. That is more than enough of a present. Well I asked him for a diaper for one of the boys, and it was too heavy. He'd put a ring box inside. Before I tell you what was in it you need to understand a few things. I love jewelry. He always buys pieces that are unique and of very high quality. He knows my tastes very well and everything I have from him is beyond perfect. We shop at small family jewelry store where you can spend $50 as easily as $500,000 and they treat you the same. They specialize in antique jewelry and diamonds. It's like a fantasy world for me and they love to show you things you can't see anywhere else. They'll bring out a 10 caret yellow diamond or hand us a $30,000 diamond and tell us to take it outside and look at it in the sunlight. They know we could never afford something like that, but they enjoy showing to people who appreciate it. As soon as I saw the box, I knew it would be special. The center stone is a diamond cut like my engagement ring and earring I have. That's an odd thing to mention, but it's an unusual cut that I love so he looks for it. More importantly, on both sides there is a round emerald. I always loved emeralds, but never thought I'd have one because I could only find pale cloudy ones. These are a beautiful deep green and very clear. So now I have my birthstone with the boys's birthstones. I was just in awe. Now I have a beautiful reminder of how the boys are connected to my birthday instead of just painful memories.
As I said it was a good day. My husband got up with the boys so I could sleep and made me breakfast. Actually, he started had to leave to go on an auto accident came back later and finished. Then he took the boys so I could go shopping for my mom. We are doing the family thing tomorrow, but I wanted to get it done. Found a new Morrissey CD and bought one for each of us. Happy Birthday to me! Then Mom came early to watch the boys so Rick and I could go th their godmother's band concert and to dinner. Stopped by my mother-in-law's. Her boyfriend gave me a dozen roses. Very nice day.
I still have some issues with my birthday. I reread my entry from last year, and while it was rather restrained it did reflect how I felt. Not much has changed. To recap, on my birthday 2 years ago I was admitted to the hospital with pregnancy complications and wouldn't leave until the boys were born. I was only 24 weeks and the goal was to hold on as long as possible to increase their odds for survival. I dreamt the night before my birthday I was pregnant. There were a few different versions, but in all of them something was wrong. No shock there. That was the worst day in my disastrous pregnancy. Although worse things happened, that day I had to face the fact that I was going to fail at the one thing I wanted more than anything. There was no hope of salvaging a normal pregnancy. I thought my failures with infertility were bad, but there is nothing like realizing your body's inability to do what it supposed will hurt your children perhaps even killing them. I was so scared and ashamed. I imagine these feelings will lesson with time, but it still makes me dread my birthday a bit.
Now for the amazing part. My husband astounds me. We hadn't talked about my birthday at all, and as far as I knew he hadn't been shopping. I figured he'd get something before sunday, but I really didn't care. There isn't much I want, and he's sending me to Chicago next weekend with my mother and sister. That is more than enough of a present. Well I asked him for a diaper for one of the boys, and it was too heavy. He'd put a ring box inside. Before I tell you what was in it you need to understand a few things. I love jewelry. He always buys pieces that are unique and of very high quality. He knows my tastes very well and everything I have from him is beyond perfect. We shop at small family jewelry store where you can spend $50 as easily as $500,000 and they treat you the same. They specialize in antique jewelry and diamonds. It's like a fantasy world for me and they love to show you things you can't see anywhere else. They'll bring out a 10 caret yellow diamond or hand us a $30,000 diamond and tell us to take it outside and look at it in the sunlight. They know we could never afford something like that, but they enjoy showing to people who appreciate it. As soon as I saw the box, I knew it would be special. The center stone is a diamond cut like my engagement ring and earring I have. That's an odd thing to mention, but it's an unusual cut that I love so he looks for it. More importantly, on both sides there is a round emerald. I always loved emeralds, but never thought I'd have one because I could only find pale cloudy ones. These are a beautiful deep green and very clear. So now I have my birthstone with the boys's birthstones. I was just in awe. Now I have a beautiful reminder of how the boys are connected to my birthday instead of just painful memories.
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