“It’s not just them. Ethan swore he loved me; I was his muse. But he had no problem denying who I was when it benefited him. He forgot me the instant some other drooling admirer appeared. And even you, Brian. I know how lucky I am to have gotten a second chance with you. I’m sure you had some rule against that. I should understand how much you want me in your life since you said you’d always take me back. But what does it mean that you will never stop me from leaving? You took me in without question when I needed you, but you also walked away without question when my mother asked you to. What am I supposed to make of that?”
The above paragraph illustrates the reason that I come running whenever you post a story, because you get into the characters in a way very few people can. I have always wondered what Justin thought of others' reactions to him, and this was so believable to me that I hope you don't mind if I consider this canon (in general. I'd never rip off your ideas). No one ever reckoned on Justin - not Brian, not Michael, not Deb, not even his parents. When he came out and into his own, he was, at that moment, an unknown quantity, and the bashing just made him even more of a conundrum to those involved.
In S1, he was an amusement to Brian's friends, because they loved needling Brian about having a recurring fuck. In S2, he was recovering from the bashing and treated with kid gloves, until the Ethan thing, when Brian's friends took sides (most of them being on Justin's "side," interestingly). In S3, no one knew which way to jump after the Ethan fallout and Brian's subsequent firing. Deb and Vic care for Justin, and Mel and Linds care for him, but for all that, Justin's "friends" consist pretty much of Daphne, period. So I can understand how he'd feel that he has no identity outside the bashing, his age or his relationship to Brian.
I also felt Brian's frustration here. He does and doesn't understand what Justin needs and he does and doesn't really understand how he can give that to him without compromising his sense of self. He loves Justin, and he knows Justin knows that and he knows his friends know it, but for Justin, it still really isn't quite enough. At the end of the fic, Brian seems to know that Justin won't let him skate forever. Justin loves him, but the time will come where just that love won't be enough. Brian will have to step up to the plate, and I can only cross my fingers and hope he is ready when that time comes.
A beautiful, beautiful piece, Jule. I do a little jig any time you write!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 04:52 pm (UTC)“It’s not just them. Ethan swore he loved me; I was his muse. But he had no problem denying who I was when it benefited him. He forgot me the instant some other drooling admirer appeared. And even you, Brian. I know how lucky I am to have gotten a second chance with you. I’m sure you had some rule against that. I should understand how much you want me in your life since you said you’d always take me back. But what does it mean that you will never stop me from leaving? You took me in without question when I needed you, but you also walked away without question when my mother asked you to. What am I supposed to make of that?”
The above paragraph illustrates the reason that I come running whenever you post a story, because you get into the characters in a way very few people can. I have always wondered what Justin thought of others' reactions to him, and this was so believable to me that I hope you don't mind if I consider this canon (in general. I'd never rip off your ideas). No one ever reckoned on Justin - not Brian, not Michael, not Deb, not even his parents. When he came out and into his own, he was, at that moment, an unknown quantity, and the bashing just made him even more of a conundrum to those involved.
In S1, he was an amusement to Brian's friends, because they loved needling Brian about having a recurring fuck. In S2, he was recovering from the bashing and treated with kid gloves, until the Ethan thing, when Brian's friends took sides (most of them being on Justin's "side," interestingly). In S3, no one knew which way to jump after the Ethan fallout and Brian's subsequent firing. Deb and Vic care for Justin, and Mel and Linds care for him, but for all that, Justin's "friends" consist pretty much of Daphne, period. So I can understand how he'd feel that he has no identity outside the bashing, his age or his relationship to Brian.
I also felt Brian's frustration here. He does and doesn't understand what Justin needs and he does and doesn't really understand how he can give that to him without compromising his sense of self. He loves Justin, and he knows Justin knows that and he knows his friends know it, but for Justin, it still really isn't quite enough. At the end of the fic, Brian seems to know that Justin won't let him skate forever. Justin loves him, but the time will come where just that love won't be enough. Brian will have to step up to the plate, and I can only cross my fingers and hope he is ready when that time comes.
A beautiful, beautiful piece, Jule. I do a little jig any time you write!