![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jule1122In case you missed it, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
peppervl ran this amazing Viggo/Orlando fic exchange ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
early_theory. I received a wonderful story "A Treasure More Precious Than Gold" from alilacia which really highlighted the best in fic exchanges. She wrote a story I never would have thought to ask for, but I loved every word. I had the nerve racking task of writing a story for my fabulous and most awesome beta phnx_rising who thankfully enjoyed the story. I also received my first banner ever from galor5 which I will attempt to post here. The exchange was just perfect from start to finish and I can't thank peppervl enough for running it.
Title: Sleep to the Beat of Your Heart
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando
Written For:phnx_rising
Requested Genres: hurt comfort or general angst with a happy ending, getting together, celebrating a birthday, holiday, or other special event
Prompt Words: candle (candlelight), ocean breeze, destination, mischief, fluttering
Summary: “When you are fifty two you have a heart attack. It changes everything.”
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Author’s Note. This story expands upon something mentioned in my story “Twelfth of Never.” However there is only a minor reference in to “Twelfth of Never” so it is not necessary to read it. Title is from the wonderful Erasure song “Man in the Moon.”
Viggo sat on the deck enjoying the warmth of the late afternoon sun and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. Orlando had chosen well when he’d whisked Viggo away on this impromptu vacation. He still wasn’t sure exactly where they were. He knew it was somewhere in Northern California where the beach was more rock than sand and their rented house had a great view and no visible neighbors. Orlando had shown up at Viggo’s as soon as filming ended insisting they needed some time away to relax. It had been a good idea even if Viggo new when Orlando said relax he really meant recover.
“Hey Viggo, I knew I’d find you here.” Orlando walked out onto the deck and gave Viggo a quick kiss. “I picked up some fish for dinner, but that can wait a while. Would you like some tea?”
Viggo made a face. Orlando had brought him endless cups of tea in the three days they had been here. If he never saw another cup of the weak herbal teas Orlando decided were good for him, he would be a happy man. “No more tea, but a beer would be great.”
Orlando opened his mouth to object, but Viggo cur him off, “Orli,” he couldn’t bring himself to say please although he knew Orlando heard it in his voice.
Nodding with out saying a word, Orlando turned and walked back into the house.
Sighing softly, Viggo watched him walk away. There had been a lot of that since they arrived – things left unsaid and silent negotiations that left both of them unsatisfied. He read once that by definition compromise meant both parties felt they were giving something up. He’d thought it was bullshit then, and now he knew it was. What was going on between him and Orlando had nothing to do with compromise and everything to do with avoidance. They had always been able to talk to each other, to reach a middle ground that left them both happy. Now they were unwilling or afraid to fight for what they wanted.
Within a few minutes Orlando returned with two bottles of beer one of which he handed silently to Viggo. But he sat down next to Viggo and reached for his hand. Viggo looked at their entwined fingers and brought Orlando’s hand up for a kiss. He wanted to tell Orlando that he loved him, and things would work themselves out. Instead he suggested they stay out long enough to watch the sunset and let Orlando’s easy agreement quiet his doubts.
The sunset was beautiful, and dinner was comfortable in a way very little had been lately. They talked about their friends sharing the bits of gossip each had come across and laughing about the tabloid stories they both knew to be untrue. It was a wonderful evening; at least it had been until they went to bed.
Their bedroom was at the back of the house with large windows facing the ocean. They always left the windows open so a warm breeze filled the room causing the gauzy white curtains that surrounded the large four poster bed to flutter and sway. The room was designed for romance, and once they were settled in bed Viggo took advantage of the setting and reached for Orlando. They kissed for a few minutes. Deep gentle kisses that promised more to come. Viggo stroked his hands down Orlando’s back, pulling him closer, and Orlando reacted the same way he had every night, by pulling away.
“It’s true what they say about the ocean air making you tired. Goodnight love.” One more kiss and Orlando turned his back to Viggo.
Whatever hope the last few hours had given Viggo was gone in an instant. After his heart attack, Viggo’s doctor had warned him that there would be a period of adjustment in his personal relationships, but Viggo hadn’t really listened. He and Orlando had been together for over ten years, an eternity in show business. Their relationship was strong; he saw no reason for that to change. Now Viggo marveled at his own arrogance. The changes were immediately obvious. Orlando was overly solicitous, but physically distant. It was like an invisible barrier had come up between them overnight.
During the few days they spent at Viggo’s house before leaving on their vacation, Viggo told himself to be patient. When Viggo had his heart attack two months ago, Orlando had left filming to be with him. For three days he never left Viggo’s side. Orlando had slept in Viggo’s room and endured hospital food along with him. But when Viggo was released from the hospital, he’d returned to Toronto for the last weeks of filming. Viggo tried to remind himself that when Orlando left, Viggo had still been pale and shaky. He’d still looked ill, and two month of phone calls and emails hadn’t convinced Orlando otherwise.
While Orlando wrapped up his latest movie, Viggo had come to terms with what he saw as a betrayal by his own body. His heart attack had been minor, and his doctors assured him of a full recovery. They also felt with a few modifications to his lifestyle, Viggo could avoid another heart attack. So now he swallowed a few pills every morning, and he’d given up smoking for good. He promised to keep his schedule reasonable and not let immersion in a role affect his health. Viggo had wanted to focus more on painting and writing anyway so that had been an easy concession. Otherwise he could continue to eat and exercise as he always had. Shortly before Orlando returned, the doctors declared Viggo completely recovered and more importantly he felt healthy again. Now he just had to find a way to convince Orlando.
The irony was that when Viggo and Orlando began their relationship the one thing Viggo hadn’t really worried about was the age difference. He worried about Henry’s reaction, about their ability to protect both their careers and their relationship. He worried about the long separations the jobs demanded and about the differences in their personalities. But he hadn’t given the difference in their ages more than a passing thought. Now it was all he could think about. Every time Orlando pulled away from him, he felt old. He couldn’t help but think Orlando no longer saw him as a sexual being. Orlando used to tease Viggo about how irresistible he found him. He told Viggo just the sound of his voice could make him hard and that he could happily spend hours staring at Viggo’s ass. Now he couldn’t bring himself to touch Viggo. The lack of physical intimacy just compounded Viggo’s fears.
Was Orlando starting to see him as a burden? His eyes were always so warm, so filled with love and lust when he looked at Viggo. Now all Viggo saw was worry and uncertainty. Maybe Orlando regretted committing himself to someone so much older. Maybe he wanted to be with someone closer to his own age, someone he thought of as fit and healthy. Did he worry about having to take care of Viggo sooner rather than later? Did he look at their future and see years of sexless companionship? The thought made Viggo shudder. That wasn’t how he saw their future, and there was no reason to believe that their life together, including their sex life, couldn’t continue as it always had. But the way Orlando had been acting, Viggo half expected him to walk out on the deck one night and hand Viggo a blanket for his lap, slippers for his feet, and an unlit pipe to chew on. Viggo wasn’t ready to be put out to pasture just yet. Viggo wanted to tell Orlando he needed a lover not a caretaker, but he didn’t know how.
As they finished a silent breakfast the next morning, Viggo resolved to talk to Orlando about what was going on between them. But before he could say anything, Orlando’s cell phone rang, and he left the room to talk. Viggo could hear his voice, tense and angry, but couldn’t make out what he was saying. He returned to the kitchen just as Viggo was putting the last of the dishes away. Viggo could tell he was clenching his teeth.
“What’s wrong?”
Orlando shook his head and slammed his phone down on the counter.
“Don’t, you know you can tell me.” Viggo moved closer, and when Orlando didn’t back away, he pressed their foreheads together briefly before hugging him. Orlando blew out a frustrated breath before relaxing a little in Viggo’s arms.
“Let’s take a walk, yeah? I need to move or something.” He stepped back and shook his head clearly irritated with himself.
Viggo reached for Orlando’s hand and led him down the back staircase. The tide was low so they were able to walk along the narrow stretch of beach that separated the ocean from the rocks. Viggo waited until he felt Orlando’s hand relax in his before speaking. “So what’s going on? Who was on the phone?”
“Robin,” Orlando sighed and tensed up again. “She just doesn’t listen.”
Viggo nodded but didn’t say anything else. He and Robin had reached an uneasy peace over the years so holding his tongue wasn’t anything new.
“She told me she’d help me find a new publicist, but she’s dragging her feet. She thinks if she waits long enough I’ll change my mind.”
It took a minute for the words to sink in. “You’re leaving Robin?” he asked in disbelief.
“Robin, Aleen, all of them.” He waved his hand dismissively as if it were a done deal.
“Why?”
“Robin only knows how to her job one way, and that works for a certain kind of client. That’s not who I want to be anymore.” Orlando smiled up at Viggo. The first real smile he’s seen. “I was working my way up this, but now that we’re on the subject. When we leave here, I want us to live together. We can work out all the where’s and how’s, but I want us to be together for real.”
Viggo hadn’t expected this, wasn’t sure what to say. “Orlando we can’t; you know that. We’ve talked about before, and we decided the costs were too high.”
“That was years ago, Viggo. My career was a priority then, but I don’t feel the same way now. This is what I want.”
“We can’t just make a decision like this on a whim. There are other things to consider, people to consider.”
“Who?” Orlando looked at him like he was crazy. “I’ve been publicly single for a few years so I don’t have to pretend to break up with anyone. Our friends will be supportive; you know that. And I think we are both a little old to need permission from our families.”
Viggo started to interrupt to remind Orlando that he was a parent. He couldn’t make life altering changes without talking to Henry, but Orlando beat him to it.
“And before you mention Henry, I already talked to him. He thinks it’s a great idea. He told me it was about time I got off my ass and made it official. He also said he’d going to start call me Uncle Orli. I bloody well hope he’s kidding about that, but since he’d your son I doubt it.” Orlando smiled at Viggo sure he had it all worked out.
But Viggo wasn’t so sure. It couldn’t be this easy. They couldn’t change everything about their lives just like that. “What does Robin think?”
Orlando snorted, “She thinks I’m panicking about your heart attack. She says I’ll change my mind in a few months and regret any decisions I make now.”
“Maybe she’s right.”
“What!” Orlando stopped and pulled his hand out of Viggo’s.
“I don’t want you to do anything you’re not completely sure about. I’m not dying Orlando. You don’t have to give your career to take care of me.”
“Is that what you think? Fuck,” Orlando shook his head and glared at Viggo. “I didn’t sit in your hospital room and decide to just fuck everything I’ve worked for because I was afraid. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. We’ve talked about it. All your heart attack did was convince me I’d done all the thinking I needed to.”
Viggo wanted to argue, but he wasn’t sure how. They had talked about living together, but it has been something that would happen someday. Now that Orlando was saying someday was here, Viggo wasn’t sure what to think. “I just don’t think it’s something we need to decide right now. We knew what it was going to be like going in, that it was going to be hard. But we’ve always made it work.”
Suddenly Orlando’s eyes flashed with anger. “Really? We’re making it work, are we? We knew what it would be like going in? Here’s what I knew going in as you put it. I knew we wouldn’t be able to be together in public. I even knew I might be expected to pretend to date women. What I didn’t know was that we would spend years ignoring each other’s existence. I didn’t know that if we accidentally ended up on the same fucking continent that every move I made would be documented as proof I didn’t see you because God forbid some one should think we once worked together and were friends. As for making it work, do you know how much time we spent together last year? I do because I checked. We spent six weeks together and never more than four days in a row. Is that working for you? Because it’s not enough for me any more.”
When put that way it sounded ridiculous and pathetic. How could they have let things get so out of control? But faced with Orlando’s unexpected anger, Viggo didn’t know what to say.
“Maybe you are happy with things the way they are. Maybe having me drop into your life for a day or two every few months works for you. No time to get bored or sick of me that way. No time to fight. Just enough time to spend it all in bed until I’m gone again. Why would you want to change that?”
“Orlando that’s not what I’m saying.”
“No, you’re not saying much of anything, are you?” Orlando closed his eyes briefly. When he looked back at Viggo the anger had been replaced by sadness. “I’m not going to argue with you about this, Viggo, I’m really not. I know what I want. When you figure out what you want let me know.” He turned around and headed back to the house.
“Orli,” Viggo called for him. But Orlando didn’t stop, and Viggo didn’t follow him. Instead Viggo kept walking up the beach until he found a quiet spot to sit. He needed to think about what Orlando had said and work some things out in his own head before talking to Orlando again.
He knew part of his objection was nothing more than resistance to change. For the most part, Viggo was happy with his life. If a good role came along he took it, when he wasn’t acting he had other passions to pursue. He could travel if wanted to or hole up in his studio for days at a time. With Henry living on his own, Viggo had no one to answer to. How would living with Orlando change that? Would he feel stymied by Orlando’s presence and frustrated by the need to take his opinion into consideration on a daily basis?
If he said any of that out loud, Viggo knew he would sound petty and selfish. But it was more than that. Other than a year in New Zealand, he and Orlando had never lived together. They hadn’t spent more than a few weeks together at a time, and as Orlando had pointed out, it had gotten worse in recent years. Most of their time together was spent getting reacquainted then frantically making love for hours as if they could make up for all the time apart. They never had time to fall into routines or become annoyed at each other’s habits like other couples do. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to adjust.
Viggo realized the tide would be coming in soon and decided to head back to the house. He’d have to face Orlando eventually. As he walked he thought about the nights he reached for Orlando only to find the bed empty again. He let himself remember the times he had needed to hold Orlando, but couldn’t. The times when one or both of them need support and physical comfort, but they had to settle for phone calls. Viggo had forgotten how often it was loneliness that drove him to spend days in his studio. He wondered when weeks of communicating through voice mail messages had become acceptable. When had he stopped fighting to spend time with Orlando and started quietly taking what time he was told was available? Orlando was right. He had become so used to settling he hadn’t even realized how badly things needed to change.
It was just after lunch time when Viggo made it back to the house. There were sandwiches and a salad on the kitchen table, but no Orlando. Then he heard footsteps behind him and Orlando came in walking around Viggo to lean against the counter.
“I already ate so help yourself,” he said gesturing to the food.
“Orlando,” Viggo sighed not sure how to begin.
“Not now Viggo,” Orlando interrupted shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have thrown all that at you and expected you to understand what I was thinking. It wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry. We’ll talk later; I promise, but let it go for now.”
Viggo looked at Orlando standing there with his shoulders slumped and eyes downcast. “OK,” he agreed easily. He stood in front of Orlando and tried to rub the tension out of his shoulders. When Orlando smiled, he leaned forward and nuzzled his neck. “I love you,” he whispered into Orlando’s hair. It was longer than Orlando liked to have it when he wasn’t working almost brushing his shoulders. He would leave like this until the publicity tour for the film ended. Assuming he would still be wanted by the time the film was released. But they weren’t talking about that now.
Orlando wrapped his arms around Viggo’s waist and let his head drop onto Viggo’s shoulder. “I know,” he answered. “We’ll be alright.”
That would have to be enough for both of them at least for now. The rest of the day passed quickly. They choose to ignore the little bit of tension that remained and act like they were on a simple vacation. It wasn’t until they sat out on the deck sharing a bottle of wine that Viggo felt comfortable bringing up their earlier discussion.
“You said I know what you want, but I’m not sure I do, not anymore. That’s my fault. I let myself become resigned to the difficulties of keeping our relationship a secret. I stopped looking for ways it could be easier or better. For that I am very sorry.” He reached for Orlando’s hand and brought it to his lips. It was a familiar gesture; one that brought them both comfort. “So tell me.”
Orlando laughed softly, “You would decide to get serious after I’ve had three glasses of wine. That’s an unfair advantage.”
“I’ll take whatever advantages I can get. Let’s start simple. We move in together, and no matter how discreet we are it’s going to get out. With the kind of work I want to do now it shouldn’t hurt me much. I can always count on David for work if all else fails, but what about you?”
“What about me? I get of the fucking rollercoaster for one thing. I haven’t been happy with my career for a long time. You’ve listened to me bitch about it enough. If it wasn’t for meeting you, I’d wonder if Rings was the worst thing that’s happened to me.”
Viggo gave Orlando a puzzled look. He’d never heard Orlando say anything like that before. “What do you mean?” He couldn’t imagine Orlando regretting that experience.
“Don’t get me wrong. I love the films, and I’m proud of the work I did on them. But I went from being nobody to “The Next Big Thing.” I was supposed to be the next Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, and that’s just not who I am. I’ve spent the last ten years trying to prove that I can be, and I’ve had enough. I’m never going to please every one. If a movie does well, it’s because of everything but me, and if it fails, it’s all my fault. I’m discouraged from doing projects that interest me because they are too risky, and the directors don’t take me seriously anyway. I’m tired of defining myself by opening weekend numbers.”
Orlando had said things like this to Viggo before, but never with so much conviction. “So what will you do?”
Orlando shrugged, “If I can convince people I’m serious, I’d like to do more stage work, some smaller films. If I have to, I’ll be everyone’s gay best friend for a few years, and work on my comedy. Maybe I’ll convince David I can be menacing,” he gave Viggo a playful growl. “I knew I’d have a hard time convincing Robin I want more out of my career than action figures and making the “Most Eligible Bachelors” list, but I thought you would understand.”
“I just don’t want to see you give of something you love because of me.”
“Who says I’m giving up anything. I’m just changing the way I do things.” Orlando paused and gave Viggo a disappointed look. “I really thought we were past all this self-sacrificing bullshit. I’m not doing this for you, and I’m not doing this for me. I am doing this for us. Why can’t I make decision that will make our lives better? Why does it always have to be about me? Loving you is the best part of my life, and that is what I will fight for and protect. Whether you want me to or not.”
“I’m sorry. You know I don’t mean to do that.” Viggo gave Orlando’s hand an apologetic squeeze. Early in their relationship, Viggo had tried to make sure Orlando never had to sacrifice anything for them. He told himself it would keep Orlando from regretting their relationship, but as Orlando had pointed out it was selfish on Viggo’s part and disrespectful to Orlando. It was a bad habit to fall back into. “What do you want for us?”
“I want us to live together unless we’re on location. I want to visit you on set, and travel with you. I want us to be there for each other for all the important events in our lives. I want to fight about who forgot to buy bread and who left the bathroom light on. I want to watch you paint and have you not even notice I’m there. I want us to make love whenever we want to not just when we have time. I just want us to finally be together.”
“That sounds,” Viggo paused searching for the right word. His first instinct was to say impossible, but that wasn’t true. “That sounds wonderful.”
“Do you think we can have that?” Orlando asked his voice unusually hesitant.
“I think we can have anything we want,” Viggo replied trying to sound hopeful without making promises.
“So that’s what we need to figure out.”
They didn’t speak much after that. Orlando didn’t push Viggo for answers, and as much as Viggo wanted to tell Orlando he wanted the same things, he didn’t want to get caught up in the moment. He needed time to remember all the dreams he gave up hoping for, and he knew Orlando would give him that time. He didn’t try to do more than kiss Orlando goodnight when they went to bed. The peace between them felt fragile, and he wasn’t up to another rejection.
Viggo sleep was restless and full of dreams he didn’t understand. He woke up gasping once to find Orlando’s head pillowed on his chest.
“OK?” Orlando asked sleepily when Viggo’s sudden movement startled him.
“Just a dream, Orli. Go back to sleep,” he whispered.
“Good or bad?” Orlando asked still mumbling.
Viggo frowned trying to remember the dream. He was only able to catch brief glimpses of it. “I’m not sure. I was trying to tell you something. You were young, younger than I remember, and you were angry or hurt. I was trying to tell you something important, but you wouldn’t listen.” Viggo struggled to translate the frustration and urgency he felt into words.
Orlando looked up at him, eyes oddly clear, “I listened,” he said seriously. Before Viggo could ask him what he meant, he kissed Viggo’s chest quickly, slurred a sleepy, “love you,” and drifted back off.
“I love you too,” Viggo whispered before falling back to sleep.
They were taking a late afternoon walk on the beach when Viggo decided it was time to talk about what was really holding him back. “How do you see me now?”
“Now? You mean after you heart attack, yeah?” Orlando waited until Viggo nodded before speaking again. “I’m not sure how to answer that. Obviously I worry a little more about your health, but I trust you to take care of that. You’ll catch hell if I ever see you smoking again though. But other than that nothing has changed.”
Orlando seemed genuinely puzzled by Viggo’s question so he tried a different approach. “Why won’t you let me touch you?”
“What?” Orlando looked at Viggo like he was crazy.
“When I try to make love to you, you turn away,” Viggo had to force the words out.
Orlando turned so he was facing Viggo. “I thought. I was trying. God,” he covered his face with his hands for a moment then took a deep breath. “I was trying to give you time. Make sure you were ready, healed, you know. I mean jumping you the minute we were near a bed because that was what I wanted didn’t seem like the way to go.”
So Viggo had been right about one thing, Orlando wasn’t sure of Viggo’s recovery. “Orlando, I’m fine. I’m completely healed. It’s been two months.” Viggo hoped he sounded more reassuring than impatient.
“Really? It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long. It feels like you just left the hospital.”
“That’s because you were gone. But I really am fine now. I know you were worried, but you won’t hurt me.”
“I’ve been trying so hard not to overwhelm you or be too needy; I guess I went too far. Big surprise.”
Another old fear to deal with. “You could never be too much for me, Orlando.”
“You say that now, but wait,” Orlando laughed, but it was humorless. “I remember watching you sleep in the hospital and thinking that your hair was shorter than I remembered. Then I tried to figure out long it had been since I’d seen you, and I realized it had been almost six months. How could that have happened? The more I thought about it, the more I saw how much I took you for granted. You are the one thing I can count on. No matter how crazy the rest of my life got, I always knew you would be there for me. So I tied myself in knots accommodating everyone else, and expected you to be there when it was convenient. How fucked up was that. And then I had to leave again. When I saw you again, I wanted to attach myself to you and never let go. Rejecting you is the last thing I want to do”
“I thought you stopped being attracted to me,” Viggo was surprised at how much it hurt just to say it.
“Christ, if you had any idea how much time I’ve spent wanking in the bathroom.” Orlando framed Viggo’s face with his hands and looked into his eyes. “You are the sexiest person I’ve ever known. I will always be attracted to you.”
They stood there holding each other and listening to the waves rush in. When they parted, Orlando gave Viggo a hesitant smile. “I’m really fucking this up, aren’t I?”
Viggo shook his head. “Not just you. We’re both a little scared, a little uncertain, but we’ll work it out.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“It’s such a beautiful evening we should eat out on the deck,” Orlando suggested when they got back to the house. “Why don’t you make some pasta. I’m going to shower and get things set up outside.”
Viggo agreed although he was slightly hurt Orlando hadn’t wanted them to shower together. Maybe he needed some time to regroup after their discussion. Viggo spent the next hour putting together dinner and listening to Orlando move back and forth between the deck and the house. When the food was finished, Orlando insisted on taking it out himself, and then a few minutes later, he asked Viggo to grab a bottle of wine and join him.
“What’s all this?” Viggo asked as soon as he walked out onto the deck. Candles of various sizes lined the railing and a small vase filled with wildflowers sat at the center of the table. The sun was just beginning to set. It was beautiful.
Orlando took the wine from Viggo and set it on the table. “I am so sorry about making you think I didn’t want you. I wanted to make tonight special.”
“Every night with you is special.”
“So sweet,” Orlando whispered blushing a little. He reached out and pulled Viggo into his arms. “Dance with me.”
Viggo hadn’t noticed the music quietly playing in the background until that moment. They were both content to sway together and share a few kisses while watching the sun set. Dinner was eaten quietly in starlight and candlelight. They lingered over wine not wanting to break the mood. But eventually Orlando left Viggo to finish the wine while he returned the dishes to the kitchen.
“Come to bed with me,” he said when he came back out. Orlando carefully blew all the candles out before coming to stand in front of Viggo.
Just the sound of Orlando’s voice already deepened with lust was enough to make Viggo shiver. He let Orlando lead him to the bedroom and followed suit when Orlando stripped quickly before reaching the bed. He found his own voice once he was stretched out in the bed next to Orlando. “You are so beautiful. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Never again,” Orlando replied fiercely. “I will never do that to you again.”
Orlando kissed Viggo then. It was a kiss of possession, deep and urgent. Few words were spoken after that. They rushed to reacquaint themselves with each others’ bodies as though starved for each other’s touch. Each kiss, each caress fueled their passion and brought them closer together. When Orlando entered him, Viggo felt whole for the first time since leaving the hospital.
“I love you. Thank you,” Viggo whispered later as he held Orlando in his arms.
Orlando looked up at Viggo and smiled suggestively, “The pleasure was all mine. And I intend to take my pleasure as often as possible.”
“You won’t get any arguments from me.”
Orlando rested his head on Viggo’s chest just above his heart. “Your heart is the best part of you. I won’t lose it.”
“It’s always been yours,” Viggo answered blinking away tears. He knew now where both he and his heart belonged. “If I ask him, Henry will move everything from your apartment to the house before we leave here.”
“Are you sure?” Orlando looked up again his eyes shining with love and hope.
“It’s where you belong,” Viggo knowing it was what they had always wanted and finally believing it would work.
peppervl ran this amazing Viggo/Orlando fic exchange early_theory. I received a wonderful story "A Treasure More Precious Than Gold" from alilacia which really highlighted the best in fic exchanges. She wrote a story I never would have thought to ask for, but I loved every word. I had the nerve racking task of writing a story for my fabulous and most awesome beta phnx_rising who thankfully enjoyed the story. I also received my first banner ever from galor5 which I will attempt to post here. The exchange was just perfect from start to finish and I can't thank peppervl enough for running it.Title: Sleep to the Beat of Your Heart
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando
Written For:
phnx_risingRequested Genres: hurt comfort or general angst with a happy ending, getting together, celebrating a birthday, holiday, or other special event
Prompt Words: candle (candlelight), ocean breeze, destination, mischief, fluttering
Summary: “When you are fifty two you have a heart attack. It changes everything.”
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Author’s Note. This story expands upon something mentioned in my story “Twelfth of Never.” However there is only a minor reference in to “Twelfth of Never” so it is not necessary to read it. Title is from the wonderful Erasure song “Man in the Moon.”
Viggo sat on the deck enjoying the warmth of the late afternoon sun and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. Orlando had chosen well when he’d whisked Viggo away on this impromptu vacation. He still wasn’t sure exactly where they were. He knew it was somewhere in Northern California where the beach was more rock than sand and their rented house had a great view and no visible neighbors. Orlando had shown up at Viggo’s as soon as filming ended insisting they needed some time away to relax. It had been a good idea even if Viggo new when Orlando said relax he really meant recover.
“Hey Viggo, I knew I’d find you here.” Orlando walked out onto the deck and gave Viggo a quick kiss. “I picked up some fish for dinner, but that can wait a while. Would you like some tea?”
Viggo made a face. Orlando had brought him endless cups of tea in the three days they had been here. If he never saw another cup of the weak herbal teas Orlando decided were good for him, he would be a happy man. “No more tea, but a beer would be great.”
Orlando opened his mouth to object, but Viggo cur him off, “Orli,” he couldn’t bring himself to say please although he knew Orlando heard it in his voice.
Nodding with out saying a word, Orlando turned and walked back into the house.
Sighing softly, Viggo watched him walk away. There had been a lot of that since they arrived – things left unsaid and silent negotiations that left both of them unsatisfied. He read once that by definition compromise meant both parties felt they were giving something up. He’d thought it was bullshit then, and now he knew it was. What was going on between him and Orlando had nothing to do with compromise and everything to do with avoidance. They had always been able to talk to each other, to reach a middle ground that left them both happy. Now they were unwilling or afraid to fight for what they wanted.
Within a few minutes Orlando returned with two bottles of beer one of which he handed silently to Viggo. But he sat down next to Viggo and reached for his hand. Viggo looked at their entwined fingers and brought Orlando’s hand up for a kiss. He wanted to tell Orlando that he loved him, and things would work themselves out. Instead he suggested they stay out long enough to watch the sunset and let Orlando’s easy agreement quiet his doubts.
The sunset was beautiful, and dinner was comfortable in a way very little had been lately. They talked about their friends sharing the bits of gossip each had come across and laughing about the tabloid stories they both knew to be untrue. It was a wonderful evening; at least it had been until they went to bed.
Their bedroom was at the back of the house with large windows facing the ocean. They always left the windows open so a warm breeze filled the room causing the gauzy white curtains that surrounded the large four poster bed to flutter and sway. The room was designed for romance, and once they were settled in bed Viggo took advantage of the setting and reached for Orlando. They kissed for a few minutes. Deep gentle kisses that promised more to come. Viggo stroked his hands down Orlando’s back, pulling him closer, and Orlando reacted the same way he had every night, by pulling away.
“It’s true what they say about the ocean air making you tired. Goodnight love.” One more kiss and Orlando turned his back to Viggo.
Whatever hope the last few hours had given Viggo was gone in an instant. After his heart attack, Viggo’s doctor had warned him that there would be a period of adjustment in his personal relationships, but Viggo hadn’t really listened. He and Orlando had been together for over ten years, an eternity in show business. Their relationship was strong; he saw no reason for that to change. Now Viggo marveled at his own arrogance. The changes were immediately obvious. Orlando was overly solicitous, but physically distant. It was like an invisible barrier had come up between them overnight.
During the few days they spent at Viggo’s house before leaving on their vacation, Viggo told himself to be patient. When Viggo had his heart attack two months ago, Orlando had left filming to be with him. For three days he never left Viggo’s side. Orlando had slept in Viggo’s room and endured hospital food along with him. But when Viggo was released from the hospital, he’d returned to Toronto for the last weeks of filming. Viggo tried to remind himself that when Orlando left, Viggo had still been pale and shaky. He’d still looked ill, and two month of phone calls and emails hadn’t convinced Orlando otherwise.
While Orlando wrapped up his latest movie, Viggo had come to terms with what he saw as a betrayal by his own body. His heart attack had been minor, and his doctors assured him of a full recovery. They also felt with a few modifications to his lifestyle, Viggo could avoid another heart attack. So now he swallowed a few pills every morning, and he’d given up smoking for good. He promised to keep his schedule reasonable and not let immersion in a role affect his health. Viggo had wanted to focus more on painting and writing anyway so that had been an easy concession. Otherwise he could continue to eat and exercise as he always had. Shortly before Orlando returned, the doctors declared Viggo completely recovered and more importantly he felt healthy again. Now he just had to find a way to convince Orlando.
The irony was that when Viggo and Orlando began their relationship the one thing Viggo hadn’t really worried about was the age difference. He worried about Henry’s reaction, about their ability to protect both their careers and their relationship. He worried about the long separations the jobs demanded and about the differences in their personalities. But he hadn’t given the difference in their ages more than a passing thought. Now it was all he could think about. Every time Orlando pulled away from him, he felt old. He couldn’t help but think Orlando no longer saw him as a sexual being. Orlando used to tease Viggo about how irresistible he found him. He told Viggo just the sound of his voice could make him hard and that he could happily spend hours staring at Viggo’s ass. Now he couldn’t bring himself to touch Viggo. The lack of physical intimacy just compounded Viggo’s fears.
Was Orlando starting to see him as a burden? His eyes were always so warm, so filled with love and lust when he looked at Viggo. Now all Viggo saw was worry and uncertainty. Maybe Orlando regretted committing himself to someone so much older. Maybe he wanted to be with someone closer to his own age, someone he thought of as fit and healthy. Did he worry about having to take care of Viggo sooner rather than later? Did he look at their future and see years of sexless companionship? The thought made Viggo shudder. That wasn’t how he saw their future, and there was no reason to believe that their life together, including their sex life, couldn’t continue as it always had. But the way Orlando had been acting, Viggo half expected him to walk out on the deck one night and hand Viggo a blanket for his lap, slippers for his feet, and an unlit pipe to chew on. Viggo wasn’t ready to be put out to pasture just yet. Viggo wanted to tell Orlando he needed a lover not a caretaker, but he didn’t know how.
As they finished a silent breakfast the next morning, Viggo resolved to talk to Orlando about what was going on between them. But before he could say anything, Orlando’s cell phone rang, and he left the room to talk. Viggo could hear his voice, tense and angry, but couldn’t make out what he was saying. He returned to the kitchen just as Viggo was putting the last of the dishes away. Viggo could tell he was clenching his teeth.
“What’s wrong?”
Orlando shook his head and slammed his phone down on the counter.
“Don’t, you know you can tell me.” Viggo moved closer, and when Orlando didn’t back away, he pressed their foreheads together briefly before hugging him. Orlando blew out a frustrated breath before relaxing a little in Viggo’s arms.
“Let’s take a walk, yeah? I need to move or something.” He stepped back and shook his head clearly irritated with himself.
Viggo reached for Orlando’s hand and led him down the back staircase. The tide was low so they were able to walk along the narrow stretch of beach that separated the ocean from the rocks. Viggo waited until he felt Orlando’s hand relax in his before speaking. “So what’s going on? Who was on the phone?”
“Robin,” Orlando sighed and tensed up again. “She just doesn’t listen.”
Viggo nodded but didn’t say anything else. He and Robin had reached an uneasy peace over the years so holding his tongue wasn’t anything new.
“She told me she’d help me find a new publicist, but she’s dragging her feet. She thinks if she waits long enough I’ll change my mind.”
It took a minute for the words to sink in. “You’re leaving Robin?” he asked in disbelief.
“Robin, Aleen, all of them.” He waved his hand dismissively as if it were a done deal.
“Why?”
“Robin only knows how to her job one way, and that works for a certain kind of client. That’s not who I want to be anymore.” Orlando smiled up at Viggo. The first real smile he’s seen. “I was working my way up this, but now that we’re on the subject. When we leave here, I want us to live together. We can work out all the where’s and how’s, but I want us to be together for real.”
Viggo hadn’t expected this, wasn’t sure what to say. “Orlando we can’t; you know that. We’ve talked about before, and we decided the costs were too high.”
“That was years ago, Viggo. My career was a priority then, but I don’t feel the same way now. This is what I want.”
“We can’t just make a decision like this on a whim. There are other things to consider, people to consider.”
“Who?” Orlando looked at him like he was crazy. “I’ve been publicly single for a few years so I don’t have to pretend to break up with anyone. Our friends will be supportive; you know that. And I think we are both a little old to need permission from our families.”
Viggo started to interrupt to remind Orlando that he was a parent. He couldn’t make life altering changes without talking to Henry, but Orlando beat him to it.
“And before you mention Henry, I already talked to him. He thinks it’s a great idea. He told me it was about time I got off my ass and made it official. He also said he’d going to start call me Uncle Orli. I bloody well hope he’s kidding about that, but since he’d your son I doubt it.” Orlando smiled at Viggo sure he had it all worked out.
But Viggo wasn’t so sure. It couldn’t be this easy. They couldn’t change everything about their lives just like that. “What does Robin think?”
Orlando snorted, “She thinks I’m panicking about your heart attack. She says I’ll change my mind in a few months and regret any decisions I make now.”
“Maybe she’s right.”
“What!” Orlando stopped and pulled his hand out of Viggo’s.
“I don’t want you to do anything you’re not completely sure about. I’m not dying Orlando. You don’t have to give your career to take care of me.”
“Is that what you think? Fuck,” Orlando shook his head and glared at Viggo. “I didn’t sit in your hospital room and decide to just fuck everything I’ve worked for because I was afraid. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. We’ve talked about it. All your heart attack did was convince me I’d done all the thinking I needed to.”
Viggo wanted to argue, but he wasn’t sure how. They had talked about living together, but it has been something that would happen someday. Now that Orlando was saying someday was here, Viggo wasn’t sure what to think. “I just don’t think it’s something we need to decide right now. We knew what it was going to be like going in, that it was going to be hard. But we’ve always made it work.”
Suddenly Orlando’s eyes flashed with anger. “Really? We’re making it work, are we? We knew what it would be like going in? Here’s what I knew going in as you put it. I knew we wouldn’t be able to be together in public. I even knew I might be expected to pretend to date women. What I didn’t know was that we would spend years ignoring each other’s existence. I didn’t know that if we accidentally ended up on the same fucking continent that every move I made would be documented as proof I didn’t see you because God forbid some one should think we once worked together and were friends. As for making it work, do you know how much time we spent together last year? I do because I checked. We spent six weeks together and never more than four days in a row. Is that working for you? Because it’s not enough for me any more.”
When put that way it sounded ridiculous and pathetic. How could they have let things get so out of control? But faced with Orlando’s unexpected anger, Viggo didn’t know what to say.
“Maybe you are happy with things the way they are. Maybe having me drop into your life for a day or two every few months works for you. No time to get bored or sick of me that way. No time to fight. Just enough time to spend it all in bed until I’m gone again. Why would you want to change that?”
“Orlando that’s not what I’m saying.”
“No, you’re not saying much of anything, are you?” Orlando closed his eyes briefly. When he looked back at Viggo the anger had been replaced by sadness. “I’m not going to argue with you about this, Viggo, I’m really not. I know what I want. When you figure out what you want let me know.” He turned around and headed back to the house.
“Orli,” Viggo called for him. But Orlando didn’t stop, and Viggo didn’t follow him. Instead Viggo kept walking up the beach until he found a quiet spot to sit. He needed to think about what Orlando had said and work some things out in his own head before talking to Orlando again.
He knew part of his objection was nothing more than resistance to change. For the most part, Viggo was happy with his life. If a good role came along he took it, when he wasn’t acting he had other passions to pursue. He could travel if wanted to or hole up in his studio for days at a time. With Henry living on his own, Viggo had no one to answer to. How would living with Orlando change that? Would he feel stymied by Orlando’s presence and frustrated by the need to take his opinion into consideration on a daily basis?
If he said any of that out loud, Viggo knew he would sound petty and selfish. But it was more than that. Other than a year in New Zealand, he and Orlando had never lived together. They hadn’t spent more than a few weeks together at a time, and as Orlando had pointed out, it had gotten worse in recent years. Most of their time together was spent getting reacquainted then frantically making love for hours as if they could make up for all the time apart. They never had time to fall into routines or become annoyed at each other’s habits like other couples do. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to adjust.
Viggo realized the tide would be coming in soon and decided to head back to the house. He’d have to face Orlando eventually. As he walked he thought about the nights he reached for Orlando only to find the bed empty again. He let himself remember the times he had needed to hold Orlando, but couldn’t. The times when one or both of them need support and physical comfort, but they had to settle for phone calls. Viggo had forgotten how often it was loneliness that drove him to spend days in his studio. He wondered when weeks of communicating through voice mail messages had become acceptable. When had he stopped fighting to spend time with Orlando and started quietly taking what time he was told was available? Orlando was right. He had become so used to settling he hadn’t even realized how badly things needed to change.
It was just after lunch time when Viggo made it back to the house. There were sandwiches and a salad on the kitchen table, but no Orlando. Then he heard footsteps behind him and Orlando came in walking around Viggo to lean against the counter.
“I already ate so help yourself,” he said gesturing to the food.
“Orlando,” Viggo sighed not sure how to begin.
“Not now Viggo,” Orlando interrupted shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have thrown all that at you and expected you to understand what I was thinking. It wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry. We’ll talk later; I promise, but let it go for now.”
Viggo looked at Orlando standing there with his shoulders slumped and eyes downcast. “OK,” he agreed easily. He stood in front of Orlando and tried to rub the tension out of his shoulders. When Orlando smiled, he leaned forward and nuzzled his neck. “I love you,” he whispered into Orlando’s hair. It was longer than Orlando liked to have it when he wasn’t working almost brushing his shoulders. He would leave like this until the publicity tour for the film ended. Assuming he would still be wanted by the time the film was released. But they weren’t talking about that now.
Orlando wrapped his arms around Viggo’s waist and let his head drop onto Viggo’s shoulder. “I know,” he answered. “We’ll be alright.”
That would have to be enough for both of them at least for now. The rest of the day passed quickly. They choose to ignore the little bit of tension that remained and act like they were on a simple vacation. It wasn’t until they sat out on the deck sharing a bottle of wine that Viggo felt comfortable bringing up their earlier discussion.
“You said I know what you want, but I’m not sure I do, not anymore. That’s my fault. I let myself become resigned to the difficulties of keeping our relationship a secret. I stopped looking for ways it could be easier or better. For that I am very sorry.” He reached for Orlando’s hand and brought it to his lips. It was a familiar gesture; one that brought them both comfort. “So tell me.”
Orlando laughed softly, “You would decide to get serious after I’ve had three glasses of wine. That’s an unfair advantage.”
“I’ll take whatever advantages I can get. Let’s start simple. We move in together, and no matter how discreet we are it’s going to get out. With the kind of work I want to do now it shouldn’t hurt me much. I can always count on David for work if all else fails, but what about you?”
“What about me? I get of the fucking rollercoaster for one thing. I haven’t been happy with my career for a long time. You’ve listened to me bitch about it enough. If it wasn’t for meeting you, I’d wonder if Rings was the worst thing that’s happened to me.”
Viggo gave Orlando a puzzled look. He’d never heard Orlando say anything like that before. “What do you mean?” He couldn’t imagine Orlando regretting that experience.
“Don’t get me wrong. I love the films, and I’m proud of the work I did on them. But I went from being nobody to “The Next Big Thing.” I was supposed to be the next Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, and that’s just not who I am. I’ve spent the last ten years trying to prove that I can be, and I’ve had enough. I’m never going to please every one. If a movie does well, it’s because of everything but me, and if it fails, it’s all my fault. I’m discouraged from doing projects that interest me because they are too risky, and the directors don’t take me seriously anyway. I’m tired of defining myself by opening weekend numbers.”
Orlando had said things like this to Viggo before, but never with so much conviction. “So what will you do?”
Orlando shrugged, “If I can convince people I’m serious, I’d like to do more stage work, some smaller films. If I have to, I’ll be everyone’s gay best friend for a few years, and work on my comedy. Maybe I’ll convince David I can be menacing,” he gave Viggo a playful growl. “I knew I’d have a hard time convincing Robin I want more out of my career than action figures and making the “Most Eligible Bachelors” list, but I thought you would understand.”
“I just don’t want to see you give of something you love because of me.”
“Who says I’m giving up anything. I’m just changing the way I do things.” Orlando paused and gave Viggo a disappointed look. “I really thought we were past all this self-sacrificing bullshit. I’m not doing this for you, and I’m not doing this for me. I am doing this for us. Why can’t I make decision that will make our lives better? Why does it always have to be about me? Loving you is the best part of my life, and that is what I will fight for and protect. Whether you want me to or not.”
“I’m sorry. You know I don’t mean to do that.” Viggo gave Orlando’s hand an apologetic squeeze. Early in their relationship, Viggo had tried to make sure Orlando never had to sacrifice anything for them. He told himself it would keep Orlando from regretting their relationship, but as Orlando had pointed out it was selfish on Viggo’s part and disrespectful to Orlando. It was a bad habit to fall back into. “What do you want for us?”
“I want us to live together unless we’re on location. I want to visit you on set, and travel with you. I want us to be there for each other for all the important events in our lives. I want to fight about who forgot to buy bread and who left the bathroom light on. I want to watch you paint and have you not even notice I’m there. I want us to make love whenever we want to not just when we have time. I just want us to finally be together.”
“That sounds,” Viggo paused searching for the right word. His first instinct was to say impossible, but that wasn’t true. “That sounds wonderful.”
“Do you think we can have that?” Orlando asked his voice unusually hesitant.
“I think we can have anything we want,” Viggo replied trying to sound hopeful without making promises.
“So that’s what we need to figure out.”
They didn’t speak much after that. Orlando didn’t push Viggo for answers, and as much as Viggo wanted to tell Orlando he wanted the same things, he didn’t want to get caught up in the moment. He needed time to remember all the dreams he gave up hoping for, and he knew Orlando would give him that time. He didn’t try to do more than kiss Orlando goodnight when they went to bed. The peace between them felt fragile, and he wasn’t up to another rejection.
Viggo sleep was restless and full of dreams he didn’t understand. He woke up gasping once to find Orlando’s head pillowed on his chest.
“OK?” Orlando asked sleepily when Viggo’s sudden movement startled him.
“Just a dream, Orli. Go back to sleep,” he whispered.
“Good or bad?” Orlando asked still mumbling.
Viggo frowned trying to remember the dream. He was only able to catch brief glimpses of it. “I’m not sure. I was trying to tell you something. You were young, younger than I remember, and you were angry or hurt. I was trying to tell you something important, but you wouldn’t listen.” Viggo struggled to translate the frustration and urgency he felt into words.
Orlando looked up at him, eyes oddly clear, “I listened,” he said seriously. Before Viggo could ask him what he meant, he kissed Viggo’s chest quickly, slurred a sleepy, “love you,” and drifted back off.
“I love you too,” Viggo whispered before falling back to sleep.
They were taking a late afternoon walk on the beach when Viggo decided it was time to talk about what was really holding him back. “How do you see me now?”
“Now? You mean after you heart attack, yeah?” Orlando waited until Viggo nodded before speaking again. “I’m not sure how to answer that. Obviously I worry a little more about your health, but I trust you to take care of that. You’ll catch hell if I ever see you smoking again though. But other than that nothing has changed.”
Orlando seemed genuinely puzzled by Viggo’s question so he tried a different approach. “Why won’t you let me touch you?”
“What?” Orlando looked at Viggo like he was crazy.
“When I try to make love to you, you turn away,” Viggo had to force the words out.
Orlando turned so he was facing Viggo. “I thought. I was trying. God,” he covered his face with his hands for a moment then took a deep breath. “I was trying to give you time. Make sure you were ready, healed, you know. I mean jumping you the minute we were near a bed because that was what I wanted didn’t seem like the way to go.”
So Viggo had been right about one thing, Orlando wasn’t sure of Viggo’s recovery. “Orlando, I’m fine. I’m completely healed. It’s been two months.” Viggo hoped he sounded more reassuring than impatient.
“Really? It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long. It feels like you just left the hospital.”
“That’s because you were gone. But I really am fine now. I know you were worried, but you won’t hurt me.”
“I’ve been trying so hard not to overwhelm you or be too needy; I guess I went too far. Big surprise.”
Another old fear to deal with. “You could never be too much for me, Orlando.”
“You say that now, but wait,” Orlando laughed, but it was humorless. “I remember watching you sleep in the hospital and thinking that your hair was shorter than I remembered. Then I tried to figure out long it had been since I’d seen you, and I realized it had been almost six months. How could that have happened? The more I thought about it, the more I saw how much I took you for granted. You are the one thing I can count on. No matter how crazy the rest of my life got, I always knew you would be there for me. So I tied myself in knots accommodating everyone else, and expected you to be there when it was convenient. How fucked up was that. And then I had to leave again. When I saw you again, I wanted to attach myself to you and never let go. Rejecting you is the last thing I want to do”
“I thought you stopped being attracted to me,” Viggo was surprised at how much it hurt just to say it.
“Christ, if you had any idea how much time I’ve spent wanking in the bathroom.” Orlando framed Viggo’s face with his hands and looked into his eyes. “You are the sexiest person I’ve ever known. I will always be attracted to you.”
They stood there holding each other and listening to the waves rush in. When they parted, Orlando gave Viggo a hesitant smile. “I’m really fucking this up, aren’t I?”
Viggo shook his head. “Not just you. We’re both a little scared, a little uncertain, but we’ll work it out.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“It’s such a beautiful evening we should eat out on the deck,” Orlando suggested when they got back to the house. “Why don’t you make some pasta. I’m going to shower and get things set up outside.”
Viggo agreed although he was slightly hurt Orlando hadn’t wanted them to shower together. Maybe he needed some time to regroup after their discussion. Viggo spent the next hour putting together dinner and listening to Orlando move back and forth between the deck and the house. When the food was finished, Orlando insisted on taking it out himself, and then a few minutes later, he asked Viggo to grab a bottle of wine and join him.
“What’s all this?” Viggo asked as soon as he walked out onto the deck. Candles of various sizes lined the railing and a small vase filled with wildflowers sat at the center of the table. The sun was just beginning to set. It was beautiful.
Orlando took the wine from Viggo and set it on the table. “I am so sorry about making you think I didn’t want you. I wanted to make tonight special.”
“Every night with you is special.”
“So sweet,” Orlando whispered blushing a little. He reached out and pulled Viggo into his arms. “Dance with me.”
Viggo hadn’t noticed the music quietly playing in the background until that moment. They were both content to sway together and share a few kisses while watching the sun set. Dinner was eaten quietly in starlight and candlelight. They lingered over wine not wanting to break the mood. But eventually Orlando left Viggo to finish the wine while he returned the dishes to the kitchen.
“Come to bed with me,” he said when he came back out. Orlando carefully blew all the candles out before coming to stand in front of Viggo.
Just the sound of Orlando’s voice already deepened with lust was enough to make Viggo shiver. He let Orlando lead him to the bedroom and followed suit when Orlando stripped quickly before reaching the bed. He found his own voice once he was stretched out in the bed next to Orlando. “You are so beautiful. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Never again,” Orlando replied fiercely. “I will never do that to you again.”
Orlando kissed Viggo then. It was a kiss of possession, deep and urgent. Few words were spoken after that. They rushed to reacquaint themselves with each others’ bodies as though starved for each other’s touch. Each kiss, each caress fueled their passion and brought them closer together. When Orlando entered him, Viggo felt whole for the first time since leaving the hospital.
“I love you. Thank you,” Viggo whispered later as he held Orlando in his arms.
Orlando looked up at Viggo and smiled suggestively, “The pleasure was all mine. And I intend to take my pleasure as often as possible.”
“You won’t get any arguments from me.”
Orlando rested his head on Viggo’s chest just above his heart. “Your heart is the best part of you. I won’t lose it.”
“It’s always been yours,” Viggo answered blinking away tears. He knew now where both he and his heart belonged. “If I ask him, Henry will move everything from your apartment to the house before we leave here.”
“Are you sure?” Orlando looked up again his eyes shining with love and hope.
“It’s where you belong,” Viggo knowing it was what they had always wanted and finally believing it would work.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-06-15 05:15 am (UTC)Now this particular story was just so real and true - I'm so impressed with how believable it all is. You manage to create real drama and tension from anxieties and misunderstandings without resorting once to melodrama - you've got a very delicate touch. And you've captured so well the truth of real, adult relationships, that twu wuv is never enough - hard work, respect, communication and commitment are everything.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-21 05:33 pm (UTC)