New Fic - Not QAF
Dec. 7th, 2004 03:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jule1122If I have any closet LOTR RPS readers on my flist, I lost my mind completely and written a Viggo/Orlando story. Since I'm even crazy than I thought, I'm posting it here. For all you B/J only people just skip this entry.
Title: Wide Awake But Still Dreaming
Author: jule
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Henry has an accident that changes everything for Viggo and Orlando.
Warnings: Some medical stuff but nothing too bad
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
miss_ariel who did an amazing job despite being very busy. She also gave me the courage to post this.
Disclaimer: This is a work of complete fiction. I made it all up and nothing I've written has every happened. I have never met nor do I have any knowledge of anyone mentioned in the story. I have no knowledge of their sexual orientation or private lives. No money is being made from this story.
Credit: Title is taken from the wonderful Erasure song "Goodnight."
Author's Note: I swore I would never write a Viggo/Orlando story, but I couldn't help it. This my first and most likely only attempt, and I hope at least some of you enjoy it.
It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did. It wasn’t like they hadn’t talked about, joked about it, even planned it actually. Late at night, lying in bed together they imagined all kinds of scenarios, but they were all for someday, for some distant future.
Viggo usually came up with the crazy ones. He suggested billboards for Valentine’s Day or a public make out session at the Oscars. Things he knew they would never do. Once he told Orlando that the next time a particularly obnoxious report asked him about some actress he was supposed to be dating, he should tell her, “You stupid bitch. I’m not interested in her. I’ve been shagging Viggo Mortensen for years.” Orlando still laughed every time he saw her if nothing else from the memory of Viggo imitating his accent and saying “shagging.”
Personally, Orlando favored more subtle methods. He figured at some point they’d just stop hiding and wait for people to notice. They could actually go to each other’s premiers, casually mention their life together in a few interviews and act like it was no big deal once people put the pieces together. Viggo said he was boring so he branched out a bit and suggested somewhat noticeable tattoos of each other’s names or going to Canada and getting married and waiting for the license to become public. He’d been a bit serious about that last one.
The first idea they abandoned had been putting one of their homes in both their names. Viggo insisted on originally so that had been ruined when Billy and Dom had done it and actually thought no one would notice. Idiots. Of course, that’s what happens when you don’t have to run every minute of your life by your publicist. Not that there had been much fallout. More like a collective realization that “Oh yeah, they must be the gay hobbits.” But again, they hadn’t spent years trying to prove just how straight they were. If Orlando didn’t love them so much, he’d be insanely jealous.
Orlando had long since tired of the game. After things with Kate had run their course, he refused to fake another relationship. It wasn’t like they had fooled that many people. He compromised by occasionally allowing himself to be photographed with some eligible actress. As a result, he made at least one “Most Eligible Bachelor’s” list each year. Most of the time he ignored them, but occasionally he answered their repetitive questions with what he felt were rather thinly veiled answers. “I don’t have an ideal woman. I’m not looking for someone to share my life with. Marriage isn’t a priority for me.” What he meant was, “I don’t have an ideal woman because I’m gay. I’m not looking for someone to share my life with because I’ve already found him. Marriage isn’t a priority for me since it’s still illegal for Viggo and me to get married.” But instead of reading between the lines, they labeled him a playboy and wrote articles with titles like “Why is Bloom So Afraid of Commitment?” They would laugh if they knew how he’d begged Viggo for a commitment when he’d been going through his noble phase after filming for Rings ended.
It sill amazed Orlando that other than a group of fans that drove Robin insane no one had figured it out. Viggo made it easy. He kept a low profile and knew how to think before he spoke. Orlando had always been the wild card almost giving them away several times in the beginning. Oddly enough, it was the press that ended up helping him. As years and other movies separated him from Rings, questions about the experience in general and Viggo in particular had stopped. He wasn’t given an opportunity to gush about Viggo and had learned enough self restraint to not create them.
Maybe it was nostalgia, but they had finally decided that The Lord of the Rings tenth anniversary would be the perfect time to go public. They knew Peter planned a new DVD release of the entire trilogy, and he wouldn’t object to their revelation becoming part of the new interviews. They weren’t planning some huge media coming out. They simply wanted to answer honestly when asked what their time in New Zealand had been like and how it had affected their lives. They wanted to attend any associated events together. They wanted to be able to honor and acknowledge the amazing experience that had led them to each other. It seemed like the perfect solution.
Peter was no where near finished with the new cut of the movies when their plans were shot to hell. By the time the DVDs were due to be released, their relationship would be old news. As with most things, it was a series of coincidences that led to their being discovered. Orlando would always be grateful for some of those coincidences.
The first was Orlando being in town at all. For once he was filming in L.A. and able to go home at night instead of to a hotel room. And despite the long hours, he was never completely out of touch since Matt kept track of his cell phone. Matt was Orlando’s personal assistant and had been hired a few years ago at Viggo’s insistence. Despite his teasing about all of Orlando’s “people,” he’d been the one to decide there needed to be someone whose job it was to look out for Orlando especially during filming. Orlando wasn’t a method actor like Viggo. He didn’t lose himself in character; instead he tended to obsess over every aspect of his performance and what he was doing wrong. He hadn’t lost many of the insecurities he brought to New Zealand, but he’d also learned that most movie shoots weren’t like Rings. You weren’t there long enough to develop relationships and people looked out for themselves not each other. Viggo had grown tired of Orlando coming home exhausted and stressed from trying to please everyone. So they’d found Matt who could keep an eye on Orlando during filming. He could also deal with Orlando’s publicist, agent, and manager but remain independent of them. He answered to Orlando. Well, in truth, he answered to Viggo, but it amounted to the same thing.
Matt having Orlando’s cell phone was a relatively new thing. Orlando had missed the news that he was an uncle by almost twenty-four hours because he forgot to turn his phone on and check for messages during breaks. So now Matt kept his phone when Orlando was on set. He didn’t get many calls since most people knew his schedule, but it made him feel better.
Orlando knew something was wrong as soon he saw Matt coming towards him. He hadn’t noticed him until the director and some of his assistants started shouting. When he looked up, Matt was handing him his phone while talking on his own and gesturing for the people behind him to be quiet. Everything stopped for Orlando at that moment. Matt wasn’t an idiot; he wouldn’t interrupt Orlando in the middle of filming a fucking scene unless there was a major emergency. Orlando could hear Viggo speaking to him, but couldn’t really understand what was being said over the buzzing in his head. He saw Matt talking to the director, heard himself answering Viggo, “Where are you? I’ll be right there. I love you,” but none of it made any sense.
He walked off the set in a daze. He could feel people staring at him, could hear the actress he’d been working with shouting for someone to tell her “What the fuck is going on.” He knew the studio would be in an uproar over this, probably calling it some prima donna stunt, but he didn’t care.
“Matt, I have to go,” he said when he reached him.
“I know. There’s a car coming, but it will be a few minutes. You need to get changed first.”
Orlando followed without question. They were halfway to the hospital before it started to sink in. He sighed and buried his face in his hands. “Tell me what happened,” he asked when he looked up.
“I don’t know anymore than you.” Matt attempted a smile when he saw the look Orlando threw him. “But since I was actually listening, Henry’s been in an accident and it’s serious. I don’t have any other details.”
“Fucking L.A., bloody idiots forget how to drive the minute a drop of rain falls. We’ll be there soon though?” Orlando thanked God the studio was on the same side of town as the hospital. He never would have forgiven himself if he’d been halfway around the world, and Viggo would have been alone while he tried to get home. The ride to the hospital was taking too long as it was. “You’ll call everyone, yeah?”
Matt nodded. He knew without asking that everyone meant the Fellowship. “We’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Orlando looked out the window and spotted the hospital. He also saw what looked like several television vans outside the entrance. “Fucking hell! Tell me I’m not seeing that.”
“Don’t worry about it, Orlando. Just don’t say anything, and I’ll take care of it.”
Orlando nodded absently. He just didn’t feel like dealing with reporters right now. They were such fucking vultures; only here because Viggo was big news again. He’d just released his first movie in over two years, and there was a lot of Oscar buzz about his performance and the film. Six months ago, it would have taken the reporters several hours if not days to show up. And then Orlando could have slipped in unnoticed.
Once the car pulled up to the entrance and Orlando was spotted the shouting started. “Is Henry dead? Orlando, what are you doing here? Have you spoken to Viggo? How is he?” Orlando knew the drill and ignored them all. He kept his head down, his hands in his pockets to hide the shaking, and never made eye contact. Matt guided Orlando through the crowd of reporters until they finally made it inside.
After a quick conversation with the desk clerk, they were headed for the elevators. A few people stared at Orlando, but no one said anything. Perhaps they realized he wasn’t up to dealing with fans or maybe privacy was part of hospital etiquette. After what seemed like a ridiculous number of stops, they reached the right floor. Orlando spotted Viggo pacing the hallway as soon as they stepped off the elevator.
“Viggo,” he called softly to get his attention.
“Orli?” he looked up and the raw emotion on his face broke Orlando’s heart.
“Oh love,” he whispered as he made his way to his lover. He quickly took Viggo in his arms, holding him tightly as he could feel him trembling. Orlando ran his hands up and down Viggo’s back and through his hair trying to calm him down. “It’s alright, love. I’m here now, everything will be alright,” he continued to murmur reassurances in Viggo’s ear.
Eventually, Viggo pulled away. With a shuddering breath, he brought his hands to Orlando’s face and kissed him. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“I came as fast as I could. Walked out in the middle of a bloody scene. Bet that caused a bit of a stir, yeah?” Orlando smiled briefly before becoming serious again. “How is he?”
Viggo shrugged, “He’s in surgery now. They won’t tell me much, but they didn’t seem very optimistic.”
“What happened?”
“I guess he swerved to avoid another accident and lost control of the car. He hit a barrier and most of his injuries came from the impact. They said he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt. Why wasn’t he wearing it? How many times have I told him? He just won’t listen.” Viggo’s voice rose as he became more upset.
“Hey, hey,” Orlando touched his cheek gently to get his attention. “You can’t worry about that right now.”
“It’s just I can’t lose him, Orli. What will I do if he’s not OK? I won’t survive that.”
Orlando pulled him close again, “Don’t think like that. Henry’s strong just like his dad. He’ll get through this. You just have to believe.”
The next few hours were pure torture. Orlando never had much patience, but for once he was the still one. Viggo alternated between pacing the hallway and sitting with Orlando on a small loveseat. He couldn’t seem to settle, and Orlando did his best to keep him calm. Having long since given up on finding the right words, he offered comfort through touch. He held Viggo’s hand, walked with him, and acted as his pillow. Matt brought them tea, but the cups remained untouched. Finally, a woman in what looked like surgical clothing approached them.
“Mr. Mortensen?” she asked softly.
Viggo looked up and clutched Orlando’s hand tightly, “Yes?”
“Henry’s out of surgery. His doctor will be by to speak to you shortly.”
“Is he,” Viggo’s voice trailed off as though he couldn’t bear to ask the questions he needed to.
“He’s stable right now. Still critical, but stable. The doctor will be able to tell you more,” she smiled and left once Viggo nodded at her.
“See, Vig I told you he was strong,” Orlando tried to sound hopeful, but Viggo didn’t answer. He just kept staring down the hallway.
After about ten minutes, Henry’s doctor came to talk to them. He spent a lot of time detailing Henry’s injuries and what they had done to treat them. Orlando tried not to shudder as he spoke of internal bleeding, head trauma, and coma. Viggo asked some questions, but Orlando knew there would be later once they could begin to process all of this. He explained that Henry would be in recovery for a few hours before being moved to ICU. At that point, they would be able to see him for a few minutes. Orlando thanked the doctor for his time and prepared for another long wait.
By the time they were able to see Henry, Matt had contact all of the Fellowship, found a private lounge for them to set up camp in, taken care of postponing Orlando’s remaining filming, and arranged for a private plane to bring Exene back to L.A. cutting a least a day off her travel time. Orlando had never been more thankful to have someone to handle all those things for him. He had no idea how they were going to get through this, but his focus had to be on Viggo. The pale silent man next to him bore almost no resemblance to his lover.
After they left Henry’s room, Orlando realized he had to push back all the bad memories associated with being in a hospital. But seeing Henry like that, almost unrecognizable, hooked up to monitors and machines, reminded him of what it had been like to be trapped and helpless in a place just like this. It had been so hard finally realizing just how serious Henry’s injuries were and then having to leave him after just a few moments. Orlando loved Henry; they were family. But he couldn’t begin to imagine how Viggo was feeling. He and Henry were so close; it had to be killing him to not be able to be with him, to help him.
The next week passed in a blur. Within three days, the entire Fellowship arrived. Orlando didn’t know what commitments they had broken to come, but he would always be grateful. Not that he and Viggo wouldn’t have done the same thing for any one of them. Still, having their family with them made a huge difference. Sean and Christine Astin had appointed themselves Exene’s guardians. And as much as Orlando tried, he couldn’t be everything for Viggo. Bean was a huge help managing to occasionally convince Viggo to go for a walk with him in the hospital’s garden. The hobbits organized card games and brought in movies to keep everyone occupied. They even managed to make Viggo laugh every now and then. They came and went in shifts bringing food and fresh clothes with them, and generally making life as tolerable as possible. For once, Orlando was taking full advantage of his celebrity status. He, Viggo, and Exene basically moved into the hospital. They were given privacy and consideration he was sure most families didn’t receive.
The one thing he couldn’t secure was more time with Henry. ICU rules were strict and they were limited to several short visits each day. He and Viggo alternated times with Exene since only two people were allowed in at a time. The visits were both a blessing and a curse. Viggo needed to be with Henry as much as possible. He held his hand and spoke softly to him. Sometimes he even sang to him. It was the most loving and heartbreaking thing Orlando had ever seen. But seeing Henry so still and unresponsive day after day was wearing Viggo down. He always left Henry quiet and shaking. The time he spent wrapped in Orlando’s arms recovering seemed to increase each day.
Finally, after six days there was good news. The doctor said Henry was showing signs of coming out of the coma and the swelling in his brain had gone down quickly enough that brain damage was unlikely. He joked with them a bit saying it wouldn’t be like the movies. Henry wouldn’t suddenly wake up and go home. But they could expect to see some movement and response to voices. Once the doctor left, Viggo collapsed in Orlando’s arms saying, “Thank God, thank God,” over and over again.
It was later the same day that Ian approached him. Viggo was off with Bean, and Orlando was considering a nap when Ian called his name. He hoped Ian wasn’t planning to lecture him about taking care of himself. He’d already been corned by Liv, Fran, and Billy. He couldn’t make them understand that as long as he could keep Viggo sane, he was fine. As tempted as he was to ignore Ian, Orlando to still responded automatically to the authority in his voice.
“Yes, Ian?” he asked dragging himself over to the small table Ian was sitting at.
“Well, Orlando there is something we’ve been avoiding discussing with you,” he looked around the room and Orlando saw Dom and Billy look away guiltily, “but with today’s good news it can’t be put off.” Without saying anything else, he handed Orlando a stack of magazines.
“I don’t understand Ian. I’m really not too concerned with world events.”
Ian held up a hand, “Just look at them. Then we’ll talk.”
Orlando picked up the first one, “Fuck!” The cover had a picture of him and Viggo hugging in the hospital hallway. “Bloom Comforts Lover as His Son Nears Death.” The next one had a similar headline, but the picture showed Viggo lying on a couch with his head on Orlando’s lap. Orlando was running his hands through his hair. The third claimed “Viggo Blames Lover Bloom for Son’s Recklessness,” and showed Viggo standing slightly apart from Orlando and it looked like he was yelling. He studied that one for a minute before realizing it must have been taken when Viggo was telling Orlando about the accident. He knew from his clothes they had all been taken the first day. A photographer must have followed him into the hospital, but hadn’t been able to access the lounge they were in now. Suddenly a horrible thought occurred to him. He’d forgotten how heartless the press could be. “Ian, they don’t have any pictures of Henry? Not from here or the accident?” he asked urgently.
“No, none at all. Not even of the car,” Ian reassured him gently.
“Okay, then. I assume there’s no point in reading the articles. Is this the worst of it?” Orlando rubbed his eyes tiredly. He really didn’t want to deal with this.
“The worst? I imagine so, but there is more.”
This time he handed Orlando one of the more reputable entertainment magazines. The other magazines had all been tabloids. Here he found a five or six page article that primarily seemed to be using pictures to determine how long they had been together. He scanned the text briefly and found only speculation and notes that everyone they tried to interview refused. Once again, Orlando was grateful for the amazing friends they had.
“So, have we said anything?” Orlando knew it was a strange question, but as an actor Ian would understand Orlando was asking if their publicists had released any statements.
“Not yet. I spoke with Matthew and he said Robin and Viggo’s manager agreed it would be best to ignore it for now.”
“You won’t say anything to Viggo? He’s just not ready for this.” Orlando glanced at the door half afraid Viggo would already be back.
“No, of course not. We figured you would want to tell him yourself. But Orlando, you cannot ignore this,” Ian was using his Gandolf voice again.
“Why not? Is it really that important?”
“I do not think even a publicist as skilled as yours can put a spin on this. These pictures leave no doubt as to your feelings for each other.”
Orlando fingered the last magazine. He looked at the pictures from past premiers and smiled at the memories. And as painful as it was to look at the pictures from the hospital, he couldn’t deny how telling they were. “No, I suppose there isn’t much room for doubt. But we knew this would happen eventually. What’s done is done. We have more important things to worry about.”
“Orlando, I understand how you feel. But hard as it is to believe right now, at some point you and Viggo are going to have to leave this hospital. You need to be prepared for what you are going to face.”
“Let’s worry about getting Henry out of the hospital, yeah. The rest,” Orlando shrugged, “will take care of itself.” Orlando stood up and hugged Ian. “I love you for caring. All of you, really. But right now I can’t bring myself to worry about what people think of Viggo and I being together.”
As predicted, Henry’s recovery was slower than they would have liked. But after two weeks, he was well enough to be move to a private room. That also meant regular visiting hours were being enforced. It was finally time for Viggo and Orlando to leave. They had sent everyone else back to their lives a week ago. Now they were struggling with the reality that it was their turn leave.
“We’ll be back first thing in the morning. And you’ll call us if you need anything. We’re no that far away; we can come right back.”
“Dad, stop it. It’s no big deal. I’m just going to sleep all night. Well, except for when they wake me up to make sure I’m sleeping. You need to go home. I think you two look worse than I do.”
They both laughed at Henry’s attempted joke, but he wasn’t far from the truth. Now that Henry was doing better, the subject of Orlando filming his remaining scenes had been brought up. Matt had told him he should return as soon as he stopped looking like death warmed over. And for once, Orlando thought Viggo looked his age.
“It’s useless Henry. You know he’s going to be like this until you come home.”
“You should enjoy your privacy while you still have it. I don’t want to hear either of you moaning when I do come home.”
Orlando blushed just like he always did when Henry teased him about their sex life. He knew Henry was trying to lighten the mood so he responded as he was expected to, “You know we had the bedroom soundproofed years ago.”
Just then a nurse poked her head in and reminded them visiting hours were over. Viggo leaned down hugged his son and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you Henry. Call me if you need anything even just someone to talk to.” He pulled back and Orlando could see he was trying not to cry.
“I promise Dad.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of him,” Orlando whispered when he hugged Henry goodbye.
“Yourself too?” Henry asked giving him a look that reminded him just how much he was Viggo’s son.
Orlando just shrugged and led Viggo out the door. “It will be alright, love. He’ll be home before you know it,” Orlando reassured him as they gathered the last of their belongings. Henry had a few routine surgeries left to repair some minor injuries that hadn’t been a priority during his initial life-saving surgery. But after that he would be released with some physical therapy follow-up.
“So, now what?” Viggo asked quietly.
“Now we go home, take a very long hot shower, and sleep in our own bed, yeah?”
“No, I mean what’s the plan for getting there? Is Matt picking you and bringing you by later?”
“There’s no reason to bother Matt. He’s done enough for us lately. Your car’s still here so I’ll be driving us home.”
“That’s not a very good idea. I know things have calmed down, but there are always a few reporters hanging around this hospital, and if they’ve been keeping up with Henry’s condition, there may be some watching the house.”
“Doesn’t matter anymore. We’ve been found out, love.”
“What?”
“There were some pictures. Nothing bad, but,” Orlando shrugged, “no one’s going to be buying the close friends story. No point in hiding now.”
“Well, home it is then,” Viggo smiled and reached for Orlando. He knew Viggo hadn’t been looking forward to their separation no matter how brief and could feel that he was more relaxed. After what seemed like an eternity, they finally walked out of the hospital with their arms around each other.
Orlando woke a few days later to a warm wet mouth making its way down his neck and across his collar bone. “Viggo?” he asked sleepily as he stretched. He opened his eyes and saw his lover kneeling over him and continuing to over his chest with kisses. It had been so long since he and Viggo had been able to be intimate that the sight alone was enough to make him incredibly hard.
He shifted restlessly when Viggo began to suck on his nipple. He reached a hand between their bodies and began stroke Viggo’s chest, but his hands were pushed away. “No touching Orli. This is for you,” Viggo whispered.
Any protest Orlando may have made was cut off when Viggo wrapped a hand around his erection. At the point, all the air left Orlando’s lungs, and he arched mindlessly into Viggo’s hand. Satisfied that Orlando was going to behave, Viggo returned his attention to his nipples. He’d soon teased them both into tight buds while keeping gentle pressure on Orlando’s cock. Then he licked a line from the top of his sternum to his bellybutton. Viggo paused there to trace the outline of Orlando’s sun tattoo with his tongue blowing gently on it when he was done.
“Viggo, please,” Orlando begged not even sure what he was asking for.
“Shh Orli, it’s alright. Just enjoy.” Viggo moved his hand from Orlando’s cock and carefully spread his legs apart. Orlando whimpered at the loss of contact, but quieted when Viggo nuzzled his balls. Viggo’s hands stroked Orlando’s thighs while his mouth continued to lavish attention on his testicles.
Soon Orlando was lost, “Please Viggo, don’t make me wait any longer. I need you so much.”
Viggo retraced his path back up Orlando’s body. By the time Viggo kissed him, Orlando was writhing beneath him. He sucked greedily on Viggo’s tongue deepening the kiss. Soon he felt slick fingers preparing him, and then his legs were guided into position. Viggo pulled back and looked into Orlando’s eyes as he entered him, “I love you.”
Orlando couldn’t have answered if he’d wanted to at that moment. Viggo tried to ease slowly into Orlando’s body, but he pushed back impatiently. He’d desperately missed this feeling and wanted Viggo buried deep inside him as quickly as possible. A few minutes later, he had what he wanted. Viggo continued to caress his face and whisper words of love as he thrust in and out of him. He set a slow, gentle pace designed to allow him as deep as possible in Orlando’s body.
Heat and tension built and coiled within Orlando. With each thrust, Viggo hit his prostrate intensifying every sensation. Orlando pressed himself against Viggo seeking as much contact as possible. When Viggo’s orgasm triggered his own, Orlando came with deep shuddering waves of pleasure.
It wasn’t until Viggo returned to the bed after cleaning them both up that Orlando could speak. “That was, wow, I mean just amazing. I’ve missed being with you so much.”
Viggo leaned over and kissed him, “I missed this too.”
“What are you doing up so early? How long before the alarm goes off?” Orlando would have loved to stay in bed with Viggo all day, but until Henry came home they were still spending most of their time at the hospital.
“It’s not that early. In fact, it’s almost noon. No alarm today.”
“What the fuck Viggo? We should have been at the hospital already. Henry’s going to be worried,” Orlando struggled to get up, but Viggo held him in place.
“Calm down, Orli. This was all Henry’s idea. Exene got back in town last night and will be spending the day with Henry. They’ll call if anything happens, but I’m sure it will be fine.”
“What’s really going on? We haven’t missed a day at the hospital. Is there something you aren’t telling me?” Orlando knew he was overreacting, but he couldn’t help the feeling of unease he had about not seeing that Henry was OK for himself.
“Everything’s fine, I promise. Henry will be home in a few days, and we aren’t doing much more than keeping him company. There’s no reason we can’t take a day for ourselves. Like Henry said, enjoy our privacy while we still have it.”
“What’s the real reason? There has to be more to it than that,” Orlando continued stubbornly.
Viggo sighed, and Orlando knew he had been right. “Henry and I talked a bit while you were getting tea last night. He’s worried about you.”
Orlando was shocked, “Me? Why would he be worried about me? I wasn’t the one who was almost killed for God’s sake.”
“He noticed that I’ve been a lot more relaxed since we came home, but you’re as tense and worn out as you were when this whole thing started. He said you look like you’re still aren’t eating or sleeping properly.”
“It’s been stressful for all of us Vig. I’m fine,” Orlando hurried to reassure him.
“You’re not fine, and I can’t believe Henry had to point it out to me. If I hadn’t been so caught up in my own feelings, I would have noticed earlier. I should have noticed earlier.”
Orlando didn’t like the anger he heard in Viggo’s voice. “There hasn’t been anything to notice. And you needed to focus all you attention on Henry. He’s your son, and he needed you.”
“You’re right Henry did need me, and I needed you. I never would have survived if it hadn’t been for you,” Viggo ran his hand through Orlando’s hair and kissed him softly. “You’ve been amazing. And in a way, I am so glad our relationship is out in the open. After this, it would have been impossible to hide my feelings for you. I want to be able to tell people how wonderful you are, how strong you’ve been for me. But while you were taking care of me, who was taking care of you?”
“No one needed to take care of me,” Orlando continued to protest. “You needed me, and I needed to be able to take care of you. You understand, don’t you love?” He wanted Viggo to realize how important it had been for him to be able to see Viggo through this.
“I do understand, Orli. But we take care of each other. I should have started doing my part a long time ago. Henry told me you talked to him about your accident once. He remembered how scared you said you were in the hospital. That you were afraid you’d never leave. You told him you still feel trapped in hospitals, and that you hate being in them for even a few minutes.”
Orlando had forgotten about that conversation. It had happened a few years ago after Henry saw his scar for the first time. He’d had a teenager’s curiosity about Orlando’s accident, and had wanted to know what it was like to almost die. Orlando imagined he wished he’d never found out now. “It’s not that bad really,” Orlando looked away from Viggo when he answered.
Viggo turned Orlando back so they were facing each other again. “Yes, it is that bad. I understand why you didn’t say anything, but you shouldn’t have needed to.” He pulled Orlando toward him until his head was resting on his chest. He gently kissed the top of his head. “Please forgive me for being so blind.”
Orlando looked up and frowned at the moisture in Viggo’s eyes. “There’s nothing to forgive. Not between us. You know that.” He leaned up and kissed him. “I love you.”
“I love you too. More than you’ll ever know. At least let me give you today. Please?”
“When you put it that way, how can I resist?” Orlando smiled and snuggled into Viggo’s embrace.
*********************************************************
“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Orlando said as he and Viggo made their way to their table at the Golden Globes. “We survived our first red carpet experience, yeah.”
“I still don’t see why we had to come at all,” Viggo grumbled, but without any real malice.
“Don’t start with that again. I told you now that I can actually be with you and show the whole world how proud I am of you we are going to every award show if you are nominated.” He laughed at the pained look Viggo gave him. “Maybe I’ll let you skip the Blockbuster Video Awards, but any others, we are so there.”
Orlando couldn’t stop smiling. He couldn’t believe this was really happening. He and Viggo could go out in public together. They could hold hands just like any other couple. He’d gotten more used to it over the past months, but going to their first public event together had reminded him of how special this was.
Having their relationship become public had been both easier and harder than expected. There was less backlash than anticipated especially from Orlando’s fans. Since large age differences were fairly common in Hollywood, what had once been a major issue for Viggo was virtually ignored. What they hadn’t counted on was the level of curiosity about their relationship. The press had been relentless at first fueled mainly by the public’s desire for any bit of information they could get on one of the few prominent gay couples in Hollywood.
Their initial attempts to deflect attention had failed miserably. Viggo’s manager had released a basic statement to coincide with Henry’s release from the hospital. It had simply said, “Viggo would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers after his son’s accident. He is also greatly appreciative of the efforts of every member of Henry’s medical team. Viggo is thrilled to be bringing his son home today. He and Orlando have been in a committed relationship for several years. They ask that you respect their privacy as they continue to focus on their family.” Robin had laughed hysterically when she read it. Unfortunately, her cynicism was well founded.
Eventually they consented to one television interview and one print article. They discussed their reasons for keeping their relationship private and their feelings about being “outed.” They shared stories about their life together and talked a little about their feelings for each other. It was hard, but they learned to strike a balance between being genuine and not allowing people to exploit their relationship. Despite criticism that it was a marketing ploy, they still refused to discuss the beginnings of their relationship until they did their commentary for the anniversary DVD. It was a holdout to their original plan, and for them the two experiences were so intertwined it only made sense to discuss them together. They were actually looking forward to finally being able to talk about New Zealand without censoring themselves.
Orlando had celebrated when they made their first tabloid after the interviews. He told Viggo they were now just like all the other Hollywood couples subjected to ridiculous rumors. So while the hounding had stopped, they had to deal with stories about how Viggo was a control freak who refused to let Orlando work anymore. Orlando apparently had a drug problem or was sleeping with any man he’d ever worked with depending on who you believed. They were slowly learning to have fun with it.
And nights like this made it all worth it. They could finally share all parts of their lives with each other and not worry about what they said or who saw them. Orlando couldn’t have imagined missing this, but a few months ago he would have. He would have stayed home and watched this on television. So even if they had given up some of their privacy, they gained a lot. And Orlando planned to take advantage of every opportunity to enjoy their freedom.
“Stop fidgeting,” Viggo told him for about the hundredth time.
“I can’t help it. It’s not my fault you had to be nominated for one of the last awards,” Orlando whispered back.
“It’s no big deal Orli. You know I don’t care about these things.”
“Well, I care for you. If you don’t win, I’m going to hunt down everyone who voted against you and make them see how wrong they were.”
Viggo laughed, “I can’t believe you are threatening members of the foreign press on my behalf. If you don’t settle down, no more award shows.”
“Alright, alright. But can’t they bloody well get on with it?”
A short time later they presented the award for Best Actor, and as expected Viggo won. Orlando gave him a tight hug. “I am so incredibly proud of you,” he whispered in his ear and then watched Viggo make his way to the stage.
Viggo began with the customary thanks for everyone involved with the film then he paused and took deep breath. “As many of you know, this has been quite a year for me. Parts of it have been amazing, and other parts very trying. I want to mention my wonderful son Henry who reminded me of how precious life is and promises to always wear his seatbelt from now on.” The last remark earned a small laugh. “I want to thank my Rings family. I could not imagine a more remarkable group of people to have worked with and then been blessed enough to still have them in my life. I would not have survived without you, and I love you all. And Orlando,” he stopped and shook his head, “for him I have no words.” Another short pause and a smile Orlando knew well, “At least none I can say here.” He met Orlando’s eyes briefly before heading off stage.
All the cameramen scrambled to catch Orlando’s reaction. What they saw was not the reserved, polished young man they were used to seeing. Instead, the pictures taken would be reminiscint of the ones that flooded the internet after the Lord of the Rings premieres. Once Viggo had headed to the stage, Orlando had moved to stand with Peter and Fran who were a few tables away promoting their new film. He was crouched between their chairs one thumbnail between his teeth. But what everyone focused on was the huge smile lighting up his face, the tears in his eyes, and the slight blush brought on by Viggo’s last remark.
Once the show broke for a commercial, Orlando worked his way back to where Viggo had just finished a few initial interviews. “Damn you for making me tear up,” he complained when Viggo reached him. “I was trying to be all strong and manly tonight.”
Viggo ignored his teasing and led him to a quiet corner. “I love you so much,” was all he said before kissing him deeply. He pulled back pressing their foreheads together in a familiar pose. “This is a dream isn’t it?”
Orlando smiled and framed Viggo’s face with his hands. “No love, not anymore.”
Title: Wide Awake But Still Dreaming
Author: jule
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Henry has an accident that changes everything for Viggo and Orlando.
Warnings: Some medical stuff but nothing too bad
Beta:
miss_ariel who did an amazing job despite being very busy. She also gave me the courage to post this.Disclaimer: This is a work of complete fiction. I made it all up and nothing I've written has every happened. I have never met nor do I have any knowledge of anyone mentioned in the story. I have no knowledge of their sexual orientation or private lives. No money is being made from this story.
Credit: Title is taken from the wonderful Erasure song "Goodnight."
Author's Note: I swore I would never write a Viggo/Orlando story, but I couldn't help it. This my first and most likely only attempt, and I hope at least some of you enjoy it.
It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did. It wasn’t like they hadn’t talked about, joked about it, even planned it actually. Late at night, lying in bed together they imagined all kinds of scenarios, but they were all for someday, for some distant future.
Viggo usually came up with the crazy ones. He suggested billboards for Valentine’s Day or a public make out session at the Oscars. Things he knew they would never do. Once he told Orlando that the next time a particularly obnoxious report asked him about some actress he was supposed to be dating, he should tell her, “You stupid bitch. I’m not interested in her. I’ve been shagging Viggo Mortensen for years.” Orlando still laughed every time he saw her if nothing else from the memory of Viggo imitating his accent and saying “shagging.”
Personally, Orlando favored more subtle methods. He figured at some point they’d just stop hiding and wait for people to notice. They could actually go to each other’s premiers, casually mention their life together in a few interviews and act like it was no big deal once people put the pieces together. Viggo said he was boring so he branched out a bit and suggested somewhat noticeable tattoos of each other’s names or going to Canada and getting married and waiting for the license to become public. He’d been a bit serious about that last one.
The first idea they abandoned had been putting one of their homes in both their names. Viggo insisted on originally so that had been ruined when Billy and Dom had done it and actually thought no one would notice. Idiots. Of course, that’s what happens when you don’t have to run every minute of your life by your publicist. Not that there had been much fallout. More like a collective realization that “Oh yeah, they must be the gay hobbits.” But again, they hadn’t spent years trying to prove just how straight they were. If Orlando didn’t love them so much, he’d be insanely jealous.
Orlando had long since tired of the game. After things with Kate had run their course, he refused to fake another relationship. It wasn’t like they had fooled that many people. He compromised by occasionally allowing himself to be photographed with some eligible actress. As a result, he made at least one “Most Eligible Bachelor’s” list each year. Most of the time he ignored them, but occasionally he answered their repetitive questions with what he felt were rather thinly veiled answers. “I don’t have an ideal woman. I’m not looking for someone to share my life with. Marriage isn’t a priority for me.” What he meant was, “I don’t have an ideal woman because I’m gay. I’m not looking for someone to share my life with because I’ve already found him. Marriage isn’t a priority for me since it’s still illegal for Viggo and me to get married.” But instead of reading between the lines, they labeled him a playboy and wrote articles with titles like “Why is Bloom So Afraid of Commitment?” They would laugh if they knew how he’d begged Viggo for a commitment when he’d been going through his noble phase after filming for Rings ended.
It sill amazed Orlando that other than a group of fans that drove Robin insane no one had figured it out. Viggo made it easy. He kept a low profile and knew how to think before he spoke. Orlando had always been the wild card almost giving them away several times in the beginning. Oddly enough, it was the press that ended up helping him. As years and other movies separated him from Rings, questions about the experience in general and Viggo in particular had stopped. He wasn’t given an opportunity to gush about Viggo and had learned enough self restraint to not create them.
Maybe it was nostalgia, but they had finally decided that The Lord of the Rings tenth anniversary would be the perfect time to go public. They knew Peter planned a new DVD release of the entire trilogy, and he wouldn’t object to their revelation becoming part of the new interviews. They weren’t planning some huge media coming out. They simply wanted to answer honestly when asked what their time in New Zealand had been like and how it had affected their lives. They wanted to attend any associated events together. They wanted to be able to honor and acknowledge the amazing experience that had led them to each other. It seemed like the perfect solution.
Peter was no where near finished with the new cut of the movies when their plans were shot to hell. By the time the DVDs were due to be released, their relationship would be old news. As with most things, it was a series of coincidences that led to their being discovered. Orlando would always be grateful for some of those coincidences.
The first was Orlando being in town at all. For once he was filming in L.A. and able to go home at night instead of to a hotel room. And despite the long hours, he was never completely out of touch since Matt kept track of his cell phone. Matt was Orlando’s personal assistant and had been hired a few years ago at Viggo’s insistence. Despite his teasing about all of Orlando’s “people,” he’d been the one to decide there needed to be someone whose job it was to look out for Orlando especially during filming. Orlando wasn’t a method actor like Viggo. He didn’t lose himself in character; instead he tended to obsess over every aspect of his performance and what he was doing wrong. He hadn’t lost many of the insecurities he brought to New Zealand, but he’d also learned that most movie shoots weren’t like Rings. You weren’t there long enough to develop relationships and people looked out for themselves not each other. Viggo had grown tired of Orlando coming home exhausted and stressed from trying to please everyone. So they’d found Matt who could keep an eye on Orlando during filming. He could also deal with Orlando’s publicist, agent, and manager but remain independent of them. He answered to Orlando. Well, in truth, he answered to Viggo, but it amounted to the same thing.
Matt having Orlando’s cell phone was a relatively new thing. Orlando had missed the news that he was an uncle by almost twenty-four hours because he forgot to turn his phone on and check for messages during breaks. So now Matt kept his phone when Orlando was on set. He didn’t get many calls since most people knew his schedule, but it made him feel better.
Orlando knew something was wrong as soon he saw Matt coming towards him. He hadn’t noticed him until the director and some of his assistants started shouting. When he looked up, Matt was handing him his phone while talking on his own and gesturing for the people behind him to be quiet. Everything stopped for Orlando at that moment. Matt wasn’t an idiot; he wouldn’t interrupt Orlando in the middle of filming a fucking scene unless there was a major emergency. Orlando could hear Viggo speaking to him, but couldn’t really understand what was being said over the buzzing in his head. He saw Matt talking to the director, heard himself answering Viggo, “Where are you? I’ll be right there. I love you,” but none of it made any sense.
He walked off the set in a daze. He could feel people staring at him, could hear the actress he’d been working with shouting for someone to tell her “What the fuck is going on.” He knew the studio would be in an uproar over this, probably calling it some prima donna stunt, but he didn’t care.
“Matt, I have to go,” he said when he reached him.
“I know. There’s a car coming, but it will be a few minutes. You need to get changed first.”
Orlando followed without question. They were halfway to the hospital before it started to sink in. He sighed and buried his face in his hands. “Tell me what happened,” he asked when he looked up.
“I don’t know anymore than you.” Matt attempted a smile when he saw the look Orlando threw him. “But since I was actually listening, Henry’s been in an accident and it’s serious. I don’t have any other details.”
“Fucking L.A., bloody idiots forget how to drive the minute a drop of rain falls. We’ll be there soon though?” Orlando thanked God the studio was on the same side of town as the hospital. He never would have forgiven himself if he’d been halfway around the world, and Viggo would have been alone while he tried to get home. The ride to the hospital was taking too long as it was. “You’ll call everyone, yeah?”
Matt nodded. He knew without asking that everyone meant the Fellowship. “We’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Orlando looked out the window and spotted the hospital. He also saw what looked like several television vans outside the entrance. “Fucking hell! Tell me I’m not seeing that.”
“Don’t worry about it, Orlando. Just don’t say anything, and I’ll take care of it.”
Orlando nodded absently. He just didn’t feel like dealing with reporters right now. They were such fucking vultures; only here because Viggo was big news again. He’d just released his first movie in over two years, and there was a lot of Oscar buzz about his performance and the film. Six months ago, it would have taken the reporters several hours if not days to show up. And then Orlando could have slipped in unnoticed.
Once the car pulled up to the entrance and Orlando was spotted the shouting started. “Is Henry dead? Orlando, what are you doing here? Have you spoken to Viggo? How is he?” Orlando knew the drill and ignored them all. He kept his head down, his hands in his pockets to hide the shaking, and never made eye contact. Matt guided Orlando through the crowd of reporters until they finally made it inside.
After a quick conversation with the desk clerk, they were headed for the elevators. A few people stared at Orlando, but no one said anything. Perhaps they realized he wasn’t up to dealing with fans or maybe privacy was part of hospital etiquette. After what seemed like a ridiculous number of stops, they reached the right floor. Orlando spotted Viggo pacing the hallway as soon as they stepped off the elevator.
“Viggo,” he called softly to get his attention.
“Orli?” he looked up and the raw emotion on his face broke Orlando’s heart.
“Oh love,” he whispered as he made his way to his lover. He quickly took Viggo in his arms, holding him tightly as he could feel him trembling. Orlando ran his hands up and down Viggo’s back and through his hair trying to calm him down. “It’s alright, love. I’m here now, everything will be alright,” he continued to murmur reassurances in Viggo’s ear.
Eventually, Viggo pulled away. With a shuddering breath, he brought his hands to Orlando’s face and kissed him. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“I came as fast as I could. Walked out in the middle of a bloody scene. Bet that caused a bit of a stir, yeah?” Orlando smiled briefly before becoming serious again. “How is he?”
Viggo shrugged, “He’s in surgery now. They won’t tell me much, but they didn’t seem very optimistic.”
“What happened?”
“I guess he swerved to avoid another accident and lost control of the car. He hit a barrier and most of his injuries came from the impact. They said he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt. Why wasn’t he wearing it? How many times have I told him? He just won’t listen.” Viggo’s voice rose as he became more upset.
“Hey, hey,” Orlando touched his cheek gently to get his attention. “You can’t worry about that right now.”
“It’s just I can’t lose him, Orli. What will I do if he’s not OK? I won’t survive that.”
Orlando pulled him close again, “Don’t think like that. Henry’s strong just like his dad. He’ll get through this. You just have to believe.”
The next few hours were pure torture. Orlando never had much patience, but for once he was the still one. Viggo alternated between pacing the hallway and sitting with Orlando on a small loveseat. He couldn’t seem to settle, and Orlando did his best to keep him calm. Having long since given up on finding the right words, he offered comfort through touch. He held Viggo’s hand, walked with him, and acted as his pillow. Matt brought them tea, but the cups remained untouched. Finally, a woman in what looked like surgical clothing approached them.
“Mr. Mortensen?” she asked softly.
Viggo looked up and clutched Orlando’s hand tightly, “Yes?”
“Henry’s out of surgery. His doctor will be by to speak to you shortly.”
“Is he,” Viggo’s voice trailed off as though he couldn’t bear to ask the questions he needed to.
“He’s stable right now. Still critical, but stable. The doctor will be able to tell you more,” she smiled and left once Viggo nodded at her.
“See, Vig I told you he was strong,” Orlando tried to sound hopeful, but Viggo didn’t answer. He just kept staring down the hallway.
After about ten minutes, Henry’s doctor came to talk to them. He spent a lot of time detailing Henry’s injuries and what they had done to treat them. Orlando tried not to shudder as he spoke of internal bleeding, head trauma, and coma. Viggo asked some questions, but Orlando knew there would be later once they could begin to process all of this. He explained that Henry would be in recovery for a few hours before being moved to ICU. At that point, they would be able to see him for a few minutes. Orlando thanked the doctor for his time and prepared for another long wait.
By the time they were able to see Henry, Matt had contact all of the Fellowship, found a private lounge for them to set up camp in, taken care of postponing Orlando’s remaining filming, and arranged for a private plane to bring Exene back to L.A. cutting a least a day off her travel time. Orlando had never been more thankful to have someone to handle all those things for him. He had no idea how they were going to get through this, but his focus had to be on Viggo. The pale silent man next to him bore almost no resemblance to his lover.
After they left Henry’s room, Orlando realized he had to push back all the bad memories associated with being in a hospital. But seeing Henry like that, almost unrecognizable, hooked up to monitors and machines, reminded him of what it had been like to be trapped and helpless in a place just like this. It had been so hard finally realizing just how serious Henry’s injuries were and then having to leave him after just a few moments. Orlando loved Henry; they were family. But he couldn’t begin to imagine how Viggo was feeling. He and Henry were so close; it had to be killing him to not be able to be with him, to help him.
The next week passed in a blur. Within three days, the entire Fellowship arrived. Orlando didn’t know what commitments they had broken to come, but he would always be grateful. Not that he and Viggo wouldn’t have done the same thing for any one of them. Still, having their family with them made a huge difference. Sean and Christine Astin had appointed themselves Exene’s guardians. And as much as Orlando tried, he couldn’t be everything for Viggo. Bean was a huge help managing to occasionally convince Viggo to go for a walk with him in the hospital’s garden. The hobbits organized card games and brought in movies to keep everyone occupied. They even managed to make Viggo laugh every now and then. They came and went in shifts bringing food and fresh clothes with them, and generally making life as tolerable as possible. For once, Orlando was taking full advantage of his celebrity status. He, Viggo, and Exene basically moved into the hospital. They were given privacy and consideration he was sure most families didn’t receive.
The one thing he couldn’t secure was more time with Henry. ICU rules were strict and they were limited to several short visits each day. He and Viggo alternated times with Exene since only two people were allowed in at a time. The visits were both a blessing and a curse. Viggo needed to be with Henry as much as possible. He held his hand and spoke softly to him. Sometimes he even sang to him. It was the most loving and heartbreaking thing Orlando had ever seen. But seeing Henry so still and unresponsive day after day was wearing Viggo down. He always left Henry quiet and shaking. The time he spent wrapped in Orlando’s arms recovering seemed to increase each day.
Finally, after six days there was good news. The doctor said Henry was showing signs of coming out of the coma and the swelling in his brain had gone down quickly enough that brain damage was unlikely. He joked with them a bit saying it wouldn’t be like the movies. Henry wouldn’t suddenly wake up and go home. But they could expect to see some movement and response to voices. Once the doctor left, Viggo collapsed in Orlando’s arms saying, “Thank God, thank God,” over and over again.
It was later the same day that Ian approached him. Viggo was off with Bean, and Orlando was considering a nap when Ian called his name. He hoped Ian wasn’t planning to lecture him about taking care of himself. He’d already been corned by Liv, Fran, and Billy. He couldn’t make them understand that as long as he could keep Viggo sane, he was fine. As tempted as he was to ignore Ian, Orlando to still responded automatically to the authority in his voice.
“Yes, Ian?” he asked dragging himself over to the small table Ian was sitting at.
“Well, Orlando there is something we’ve been avoiding discussing with you,” he looked around the room and Orlando saw Dom and Billy look away guiltily, “but with today’s good news it can’t be put off.” Without saying anything else, he handed Orlando a stack of magazines.
“I don’t understand Ian. I’m really not too concerned with world events.”
Ian held up a hand, “Just look at them. Then we’ll talk.”
Orlando picked up the first one, “Fuck!” The cover had a picture of him and Viggo hugging in the hospital hallway. “Bloom Comforts Lover as His Son Nears Death.” The next one had a similar headline, but the picture showed Viggo lying on a couch with his head on Orlando’s lap. Orlando was running his hands through his hair. The third claimed “Viggo Blames Lover Bloom for Son’s Recklessness,” and showed Viggo standing slightly apart from Orlando and it looked like he was yelling. He studied that one for a minute before realizing it must have been taken when Viggo was telling Orlando about the accident. He knew from his clothes they had all been taken the first day. A photographer must have followed him into the hospital, but hadn’t been able to access the lounge they were in now. Suddenly a horrible thought occurred to him. He’d forgotten how heartless the press could be. “Ian, they don’t have any pictures of Henry? Not from here or the accident?” he asked urgently.
“No, none at all. Not even of the car,” Ian reassured him gently.
“Okay, then. I assume there’s no point in reading the articles. Is this the worst of it?” Orlando rubbed his eyes tiredly. He really didn’t want to deal with this.
“The worst? I imagine so, but there is more.”
This time he handed Orlando one of the more reputable entertainment magazines. The other magazines had all been tabloids. Here he found a five or six page article that primarily seemed to be using pictures to determine how long they had been together. He scanned the text briefly and found only speculation and notes that everyone they tried to interview refused. Once again, Orlando was grateful for the amazing friends they had.
“So, have we said anything?” Orlando knew it was a strange question, but as an actor Ian would understand Orlando was asking if their publicists had released any statements.
“Not yet. I spoke with Matthew and he said Robin and Viggo’s manager agreed it would be best to ignore it for now.”
“You won’t say anything to Viggo? He’s just not ready for this.” Orlando glanced at the door half afraid Viggo would already be back.
“No, of course not. We figured you would want to tell him yourself. But Orlando, you cannot ignore this,” Ian was using his Gandolf voice again.
“Why not? Is it really that important?”
“I do not think even a publicist as skilled as yours can put a spin on this. These pictures leave no doubt as to your feelings for each other.”
Orlando fingered the last magazine. He looked at the pictures from past premiers and smiled at the memories. And as painful as it was to look at the pictures from the hospital, he couldn’t deny how telling they were. “No, I suppose there isn’t much room for doubt. But we knew this would happen eventually. What’s done is done. We have more important things to worry about.”
“Orlando, I understand how you feel. But hard as it is to believe right now, at some point you and Viggo are going to have to leave this hospital. You need to be prepared for what you are going to face.”
“Let’s worry about getting Henry out of the hospital, yeah. The rest,” Orlando shrugged, “will take care of itself.” Orlando stood up and hugged Ian. “I love you for caring. All of you, really. But right now I can’t bring myself to worry about what people think of Viggo and I being together.”
As predicted, Henry’s recovery was slower than they would have liked. But after two weeks, he was well enough to be move to a private room. That also meant regular visiting hours were being enforced. It was finally time for Viggo and Orlando to leave. They had sent everyone else back to their lives a week ago. Now they were struggling with the reality that it was their turn leave.
“We’ll be back first thing in the morning. And you’ll call us if you need anything. We’re no that far away; we can come right back.”
“Dad, stop it. It’s no big deal. I’m just going to sleep all night. Well, except for when they wake me up to make sure I’m sleeping. You need to go home. I think you two look worse than I do.”
They both laughed at Henry’s attempted joke, but he wasn’t far from the truth. Now that Henry was doing better, the subject of Orlando filming his remaining scenes had been brought up. Matt had told him he should return as soon as he stopped looking like death warmed over. And for once, Orlando thought Viggo looked his age.
“It’s useless Henry. You know he’s going to be like this until you come home.”
“You should enjoy your privacy while you still have it. I don’t want to hear either of you moaning when I do come home.”
Orlando blushed just like he always did when Henry teased him about their sex life. He knew Henry was trying to lighten the mood so he responded as he was expected to, “You know we had the bedroom soundproofed years ago.”
Just then a nurse poked her head in and reminded them visiting hours were over. Viggo leaned down hugged his son and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you Henry. Call me if you need anything even just someone to talk to.” He pulled back and Orlando could see he was trying not to cry.
“I promise Dad.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of him,” Orlando whispered when he hugged Henry goodbye.
“Yourself too?” Henry asked giving him a look that reminded him just how much he was Viggo’s son.
Orlando just shrugged and led Viggo out the door. “It will be alright, love. He’ll be home before you know it,” Orlando reassured him as they gathered the last of their belongings. Henry had a few routine surgeries left to repair some minor injuries that hadn’t been a priority during his initial life-saving surgery. But after that he would be released with some physical therapy follow-up.
“So, now what?” Viggo asked quietly.
“Now we go home, take a very long hot shower, and sleep in our own bed, yeah?”
“No, I mean what’s the plan for getting there? Is Matt picking you and bringing you by later?”
“There’s no reason to bother Matt. He’s done enough for us lately. Your car’s still here so I’ll be driving us home.”
“That’s not a very good idea. I know things have calmed down, but there are always a few reporters hanging around this hospital, and if they’ve been keeping up with Henry’s condition, there may be some watching the house.”
“Doesn’t matter anymore. We’ve been found out, love.”
“What?”
“There were some pictures. Nothing bad, but,” Orlando shrugged, “no one’s going to be buying the close friends story. No point in hiding now.”
“Well, home it is then,” Viggo smiled and reached for Orlando. He knew Viggo hadn’t been looking forward to their separation no matter how brief and could feel that he was more relaxed. After what seemed like an eternity, they finally walked out of the hospital with their arms around each other.
Orlando woke a few days later to a warm wet mouth making its way down his neck and across his collar bone. “Viggo?” he asked sleepily as he stretched. He opened his eyes and saw his lover kneeling over him and continuing to over his chest with kisses. It had been so long since he and Viggo had been able to be intimate that the sight alone was enough to make him incredibly hard.
He shifted restlessly when Viggo began to suck on his nipple. He reached a hand between their bodies and began stroke Viggo’s chest, but his hands were pushed away. “No touching Orli. This is for you,” Viggo whispered.
Any protest Orlando may have made was cut off when Viggo wrapped a hand around his erection. At the point, all the air left Orlando’s lungs, and he arched mindlessly into Viggo’s hand. Satisfied that Orlando was going to behave, Viggo returned his attention to his nipples. He’d soon teased them both into tight buds while keeping gentle pressure on Orlando’s cock. Then he licked a line from the top of his sternum to his bellybutton. Viggo paused there to trace the outline of Orlando’s sun tattoo with his tongue blowing gently on it when he was done.
“Viggo, please,” Orlando begged not even sure what he was asking for.
“Shh Orli, it’s alright. Just enjoy.” Viggo moved his hand from Orlando’s cock and carefully spread his legs apart. Orlando whimpered at the loss of contact, but quieted when Viggo nuzzled his balls. Viggo’s hands stroked Orlando’s thighs while his mouth continued to lavish attention on his testicles.
Soon Orlando was lost, “Please Viggo, don’t make me wait any longer. I need you so much.”
Viggo retraced his path back up Orlando’s body. By the time Viggo kissed him, Orlando was writhing beneath him. He sucked greedily on Viggo’s tongue deepening the kiss. Soon he felt slick fingers preparing him, and then his legs were guided into position. Viggo pulled back and looked into Orlando’s eyes as he entered him, “I love you.”
Orlando couldn’t have answered if he’d wanted to at that moment. Viggo tried to ease slowly into Orlando’s body, but he pushed back impatiently. He’d desperately missed this feeling and wanted Viggo buried deep inside him as quickly as possible. A few minutes later, he had what he wanted. Viggo continued to caress his face and whisper words of love as he thrust in and out of him. He set a slow, gentle pace designed to allow him as deep as possible in Orlando’s body.
Heat and tension built and coiled within Orlando. With each thrust, Viggo hit his prostrate intensifying every sensation. Orlando pressed himself against Viggo seeking as much contact as possible. When Viggo’s orgasm triggered his own, Orlando came with deep shuddering waves of pleasure.
It wasn’t until Viggo returned to the bed after cleaning them both up that Orlando could speak. “That was, wow, I mean just amazing. I’ve missed being with you so much.”
Viggo leaned over and kissed him, “I missed this too.”
“What are you doing up so early? How long before the alarm goes off?” Orlando would have loved to stay in bed with Viggo all day, but until Henry came home they were still spending most of their time at the hospital.
“It’s not that early. In fact, it’s almost noon. No alarm today.”
“What the fuck Viggo? We should have been at the hospital already. Henry’s going to be worried,” Orlando struggled to get up, but Viggo held him in place.
“Calm down, Orli. This was all Henry’s idea. Exene got back in town last night and will be spending the day with Henry. They’ll call if anything happens, but I’m sure it will be fine.”
“What’s really going on? We haven’t missed a day at the hospital. Is there something you aren’t telling me?” Orlando knew he was overreacting, but he couldn’t help the feeling of unease he had about not seeing that Henry was OK for himself.
“Everything’s fine, I promise. Henry will be home in a few days, and we aren’t doing much more than keeping him company. There’s no reason we can’t take a day for ourselves. Like Henry said, enjoy our privacy while we still have it.”
“What’s the real reason? There has to be more to it than that,” Orlando continued stubbornly.
Viggo sighed, and Orlando knew he had been right. “Henry and I talked a bit while you were getting tea last night. He’s worried about you.”
Orlando was shocked, “Me? Why would he be worried about me? I wasn’t the one who was almost killed for God’s sake.”
“He noticed that I’ve been a lot more relaxed since we came home, but you’re as tense and worn out as you were when this whole thing started. He said you look like you’re still aren’t eating or sleeping properly.”
“It’s been stressful for all of us Vig. I’m fine,” Orlando hurried to reassure him.
“You’re not fine, and I can’t believe Henry had to point it out to me. If I hadn’t been so caught up in my own feelings, I would have noticed earlier. I should have noticed earlier.”
Orlando didn’t like the anger he heard in Viggo’s voice. “There hasn’t been anything to notice. And you needed to focus all you attention on Henry. He’s your son, and he needed you.”
“You’re right Henry did need me, and I needed you. I never would have survived if it hadn’t been for you,” Viggo ran his hand through Orlando’s hair and kissed him softly. “You’ve been amazing. And in a way, I am so glad our relationship is out in the open. After this, it would have been impossible to hide my feelings for you. I want to be able to tell people how wonderful you are, how strong you’ve been for me. But while you were taking care of me, who was taking care of you?”
“No one needed to take care of me,” Orlando continued to protest. “You needed me, and I needed to be able to take care of you. You understand, don’t you love?” He wanted Viggo to realize how important it had been for him to be able to see Viggo through this.
“I do understand, Orli. But we take care of each other. I should have started doing my part a long time ago. Henry told me you talked to him about your accident once. He remembered how scared you said you were in the hospital. That you were afraid you’d never leave. You told him you still feel trapped in hospitals, and that you hate being in them for even a few minutes.”
Orlando had forgotten about that conversation. It had happened a few years ago after Henry saw his scar for the first time. He’d had a teenager’s curiosity about Orlando’s accident, and had wanted to know what it was like to almost die. Orlando imagined he wished he’d never found out now. “It’s not that bad really,” Orlando looked away from Viggo when he answered.
Viggo turned Orlando back so they were facing each other again. “Yes, it is that bad. I understand why you didn’t say anything, but you shouldn’t have needed to.” He pulled Orlando toward him until his head was resting on his chest. He gently kissed the top of his head. “Please forgive me for being so blind.”
Orlando looked up and frowned at the moisture in Viggo’s eyes. “There’s nothing to forgive. Not between us. You know that.” He leaned up and kissed him. “I love you.”
“I love you too. More than you’ll ever know. At least let me give you today. Please?”
“When you put it that way, how can I resist?” Orlando smiled and snuggled into Viggo’s embrace.
*********************************************************
“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Orlando said as he and Viggo made their way to their table at the Golden Globes. “We survived our first red carpet experience, yeah.”
“I still don’t see why we had to come at all,” Viggo grumbled, but without any real malice.
“Don’t start with that again. I told you now that I can actually be with you and show the whole world how proud I am of you we are going to every award show if you are nominated.” He laughed at the pained look Viggo gave him. “Maybe I’ll let you skip the Blockbuster Video Awards, but any others, we are so there.”
Orlando couldn’t stop smiling. He couldn’t believe this was really happening. He and Viggo could go out in public together. They could hold hands just like any other couple. He’d gotten more used to it over the past months, but going to their first public event together had reminded him of how special this was.
Having their relationship become public had been both easier and harder than expected. There was less backlash than anticipated especially from Orlando’s fans. Since large age differences were fairly common in Hollywood, what had once been a major issue for Viggo was virtually ignored. What they hadn’t counted on was the level of curiosity about their relationship. The press had been relentless at first fueled mainly by the public’s desire for any bit of information they could get on one of the few prominent gay couples in Hollywood.
Their initial attempts to deflect attention had failed miserably. Viggo’s manager had released a basic statement to coincide with Henry’s release from the hospital. It had simply said, “Viggo would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers after his son’s accident. He is also greatly appreciative of the efforts of every member of Henry’s medical team. Viggo is thrilled to be bringing his son home today. He and Orlando have been in a committed relationship for several years. They ask that you respect their privacy as they continue to focus on their family.” Robin had laughed hysterically when she read it. Unfortunately, her cynicism was well founded.
Eventually they consented to one television interview and one print article. They discussed their reasons for keeping their relationship private and their feelings about being “outed.” They shared stories about their life together and talked a little about their feelings for each other. It was hard, but they learned to strike a balance between being genuine and not allowing people to exploit their relationship. Despite criticism that it was a marketing ploy, they still refused to discuss the beginnings of their relationship until they did their commentary for the anniversary DVD. It was a holdout to their original plan, and for them the two experiences were so intertwined it only made sense to discuss them together. They were actually looking forward to finally being able to talk about New Zealand without censoring themselves.
Orlando had celebrated when they made their first tabloid after the interviews. He told Viggo they were now just like all the other Hollywood couples subjected to ridiculous rumors. So while the hounding had stopped, they had to deal with stories about how Viggo was a control freak who refused to let Orlando work anymore. Orlando apparently had a drug problem or was sleeping with any man he’d ever worked with depending on who you believed. They were slowly learning to have fun with it.
And nights like this made it all worth it. They could finally share all parts of their lives with each other and not worry about what they said or who saw them. Orlando couldn’t have imagined missing this, but a few months ago he would have. He would have stayed home and watched this on television. So even if they had given up some of their privacy, they gained a lot. And Orlando planned to take advantage of every opportunity to enjoy their freedom.
“Stop fidgeting,” Viggo told him for about the hundredth time.
“I can’t help it. It’s not my fault you had to be nominated for one of the last awards,” Orlando whispered back.
“It’s no big deal Orli. You know I don’t care about these things.”
“Well, I care for you. If you don’t win, I’m going to hunt down everyone who voted against you and make them see how wrong they were.”
Viggo laughed, “I can’t believe you are threatening members of the foreign press on my behalf. If you don’t settle down, no more award shows.”
“Alright, alright. But can’t they bloody well get on with it?”
A short time later they presented the award for Best Actor, and as expected Viggo won. Orlando gave him a tight hug. “I am so incredibly proud of you,” he whispered in his ear and then watched Viggo make his way to the stage.
Viggo began with the customary thanks for everyone involved with the film then he paused and took deep breath. “As many of you know, this has been quite a year for me. Parts of it have been amazing, and other parts very trying. I want to mention my wonderful son Henry who reminded me of how precious life is and promises to always wear his seatbelt from now on.” The last remark earned a small laugh. “I want to thank my Rings family. I could not imagine a more remarkable group of people to have worked with and then been blessed enough to still have them in my life. I would not have survived without you, and I love you all. And Orlando,” he stopped and shook his head, “for him I have no words.” Another short pause and a smile Orlando knew well, “At least none I can say here.” He met Orlando’s eyes briefly before heading off stage.
All the cameramen scrambled to catch Orlando’s reaction. What they saw was not the reserved, polished young man they were used to seeing. Instead, the pictures taken would be reminiscint of the ones that flooded the internet after the Lord of the Rings premieres. Once Viggo had headed to the stage, Orlando had moved to stand with Peter and Fran who were a few tables away promoting their new film. He was crouched between their chairs one thumbnail between his teeth. But what everyone focused on was the huge smile lighting up his face, the tears in his eyes, and the slight blush brought on by Viggo’s last remark.
Once the show broke for a commercial, Orlando worked his way back to where Viggo had just finished a few initial interviews. “Damn you for making me tear up,” he complained when Viggo reached him. “I was trying to be all strong and manly tonight.”
Viggo ignored his teasing and led him to a quiet corner. “I love you so much,” was all he said before kissing him deeply. He pulled back pressing their foreheads together in a familiar pose. “This is a dream isn’t it?”
Orlando smiled and framed Viggo’s face with his hands. “No love, not anymore.”
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Date: 2004-12-08 12:26 am (UTC)Yes, you are braver than I. I think that's the ONE fandom I was totally obsessed with but didn't try to write anything!
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Date: 2004-12-08 01:13 am (UTC)