Viggo/Orlando Fic
Mar. 15th, 2005 04:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jule1122This is the last one so I am done spamming your LJs.
Title: Forevermore
Rating: NC-17
Summary: What does Viggo do when he realizes he’s fallen in love with Orlando.
Warnings: None
Beta: The fabulous![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
miss_ariel
Disclaimer: This is a work of complete fiction. I made it all up and nothing I've written has every happened. I have never met nor do I have any knowledge of anyone mentioned in the story. I have no knowledge of their sexual orientation or private lives. No money is being made from this story.
Credit: Title and lyrics taken from the wonderful Morrissey song “Come Back To Camden.”
Your leg came to rest against mine
Then you lounged with knees up and apart
And me and my heart
We knew / we just knew
Forevermore
Viggo believed in love at first sight, but that wasn’t what happened with Orlando. Actually, he saw Legolas before Orlando. Peter pointed “his elf” out to him on his first quick tour of the sets. He caught a glimpse long blond hair and a flash of a smile before they moved on. But there was no spark, no recognition from him or Aragorn. He would justify the latter by realizing Aragorn’s love for Legolas was so much a part of him that it was just there. A constant steady presence that didn’t demand attention. Viggo refused to dwell on his own lack of insight.
He met Orlando several hours later. He was having too much trouble trying to reconcile the bold young man standing in front of him with the elegant immortal elf he’d seen earlier to feel anything beyond a renewed hope that they’d be able to transform him into a convincing ranger and eventually a king. His initial impressions of Orlando were superficial and didn’t stand out from any of the other ones he formed that day.
Viggo also believed the first touch between two people was often the most significant; your body able to recognize what your heart was too afraid to acknowledge. Yet he felt nothing out of the ordinary when Orlando clasped his hand during their introduction. There was no jolt of electricity, and he had no desire to prolong the touch. Even the first hugs and kisses Orlando bestowed on him inspired no reaction. Casual affection was part of the package with Orlando, and Viggo never read anything into it.
One thing Viggo had learned over the years was how to separate his character’s feelings from his own. So while Aragorn yearned for Arwen and craved the peace he found in her arms, Viggo felt nothing but a sweet affection for Liv. He believed the devotion Legolas and Aragorn shared had as much to do with passion and love as it did friendship, but his feelings for Orlando didn’t cross that line.
No one had to ask Viggo to look out for Orlando, to help him adjust to his first movie shoot. It was no accident that they shared a make-up trailer, and Viggo understood what Peter was hoping for. Orlando was close with the hobbits, but they appeared to mainly be social support for him. Viggo knew any of them would be happy to give Orlando advice or a shoulder to cry on, but Orlando was still young enough to try and hide his vulnerabilities from his friends.
Initially, Viggo was concerned that Orlando would be intimidated by him as he was by John, Sean Bean, and later Ian. But while Orlando knew Viggo was an experienced actor, he hadn’t grown up hearing Viggo’s name. Orlando later told him he trusted his opinion, and Viggo didn’t make him feel foolish for asking for it. Being an American also seemed to help. After watching Orlando reduced to a nervous wreck around Ian one day, Viggo had asked him why he was so flustered.
“He’s been knighted for fuck’s sake,” Orlando had answered as if that explained everything.
“What’s that got to do with talking to him about a scene?”
Orlando had just laughed, “Bloody Americans, you have no sense of tradition. You threw it all out with the tea, yeah?”
Viggo was surprised at how quickly and easily he formed a close friendship with Orlando. On the surface they had little in common, but their personalities complimented each other. Orlando had accepted Viggo’s eccentricies without question, and Viggo enjoyed Orlando’s enthusiasm and often blunt honesty. They could be silly and play crazy jokes on each other, but they were also comfortable being silent with each other. For Viggo, the silence was a surprise but a welcome one. He tended to think a lot before speaking, sometimes stopping in the middle of a conversation. He couldn’t deal with people who needed to fill every moment with words, and Orlando learned to understand that.
Much of their closeness resulted from sharing the trailer. Viggo found people on movie sets adopted certain roles even when they weren’t acting. He had taken on much of Aragorn’s leadership, but also some of his self-imposed isolation. Orlando used constant motion, humor, and insane stunts to hide the nerves and insecurities lurking below the surface. But no one can keep up an act all the time. They both used the trailer as their refuge as a place they could be themselves. That also meant they couldn’t hide from each other. Orlando knew more than anyone just how much Viggo missed Henry, and how often he questioned his decision to leave his son for so long. Viggo caught Orlando berating himself more than once for what he perceived as failures, and Viggo also knew how carefully Orlando hid the physical toll scenes sometimes took on his back. Guarding each other’s secrets helped them grow closer.
There was also something strangely intimate about watching Orlando’s physical transformation into Legolas, and Viggo knew Orlando felt the same. They tended to be relaxed and joking at the end of the day when their characters were removed, relieved to be leaving Middle Earth behind although Viggo always carried part of Aragorn with him. It was different in the mornings when piece by piece they became an elf and a ranger. They were quieter then sometimes discussing upcoming scenes or talking about where they and their characters were in the journey. Looking back, Viggo realized those were the moments he fell in love with Orlando.
While falling in love had been a gradual process, one blinding moment of clarity forced him to face it. Allowing Orlando to convince him to go surfing should have been his first clue. Viggo hadn’t been surprised when the day ended with his surfboard getting the best of him. What he hadn’t expected was Orlando’s reaction. The hobbits were concerned, of course, but once they realized he wasn’t seriously hurt, amusement won out. Orlando, however, convinced the whole thing was his fault hovered and fussed and generally drove Viggo insane.
Later that evening, Viggo had finally had enough. He was sitting on Orlando’s couch an ice pack covering one side of his face and trying to keep track of a restless, babbling Orlando.
“The others should be back with the food soon. Can I get you anything? Maybe a blanket or something to drink? Nothing with alcohol though, can’t let you drink with a head injury.”
“Orlando, please just stop.” Viggo held his hand up. “Peter is not going to fire you, I’m not mad at you, and I promise not to develop an aneurysm. So will you relax?”
“I’m sorry, Viggo. I’ll just leave you alone so you can rest. Just call me if you need anything, yeah?” Orlando ran his hands through what was left of his hair and turned to leave.
“Orlando, wait,” ignoring the pounding of his head, Viggo sat up a bit straighter. “I don’t want you to leave. Just please sit down. Trying to keep track of you is making me dizzy. And no more apologizing.”
“Sorry, Vig. I mean, oh fuck it, I’ll just shut up now.”
Instead of sitting on the couch or one of the other chairs, Orlando sat on the floor next to Viggo. He rested his back against the couch and pulled his knees toward his chest. After a few moments, he relaxed and leaned into Viggo. It was only when Viggo noticed that he’d dropped his own hand to rest against Orlando’s neck that it hit him. He wanted this all the time. Having Orlando this close, touching him felt right. He liked feeling Orlando’s weight against his legs and the heat of his skin under his hand. And he wanted so much more. He wanted to pull Orlando onto the couch with him and lay in his lap so he could look up and memorize the lines of his face and find all the secrets behind his eyes. He wanted to touch Orlando everywhere and find out if all of his skin was as warm and smooth as what he could feel now. More than anything he wanted Orlando’s lips. He wanted to taste them and feel them move across his own body. He wanted them to whisper into each others skin as they made love. But Viggo knew he couldn’t have any of those things. So instead he sat and traced idle patterns along Orlando’s neck and tried to ignore the fact that he was hopelessly in love with him.
Viggo spent the next few days trying to convince himself that his feelings for Orlando were the product of an injury induced haze. Orlando’s continued attentiveness robbed him of the distance needed to make that theory work. The more Orlando fussed, the more Viggo wanted to silence him with a kiss or take him somewhere private and show him just how uninjured he was. But Viggo’s bruises faded, and their friendship returned to its normal state.
Once Viggo accepted his feelings, he had to decide what to do about them. He made the only choice he could; he ignored them. There were a hundred reasons not to pursue Orlando, but the obvious ones weren’t the problem. He wasn’t worried about the age difference; Viggo had lovers much younger and much older than him in the past. Gender also didn’t appear to be an issue. Like many actors Viggo knew, Orlando appeared to be comfortable with both men and women so Viggo wasn’t worried about offending him.
Trust was the biggest obstacle. Orlando trusted Viggo even looked up to him. How easy would it be for him to confuse his own feelings with Viggo’s? Viggo didn’t want Orlando going along with anything he didn’t really want. Onset relationships were usually a bad idea even among experienced actors. It would be too easy for Orlando to get swept up in the fantasy and regret it once filming was over.
When Viggo was completely honest with himself, he had to admit he didn’t pursue Orlando because he knew it wouldn’t end well. He was simply protecting himself from being hurt. Trying to make their relationship more than it was could only be a disaster. As cliché as it sounded, he and Orlando really were in different places in their lives. Orlando was having a good time in New Zealand. He and the hobbits like to party, and while Orlando’s social life wasn’t as active as some of the rumors Viggo heard, he didn’t always go home alone. He had never given Viggo any indication he was interested in anything beyond the odd night here and there. Orlando wasn’t looking for a relationship, and Viggo had moved beyond casual a long time ago. He couldn’t risk giving Orlando his heart and receiving only his body in return. He wouldn’t give up their friendship for something that could never be.
Refusing to act on his feelings was much easier in theory. Watching Orlando flirt with the cast and crew became pure torture. And the friendly hugs and kisses Orlando showered him with tested his resolve daily. Then Helm’s Deep started, and Viggo was certain he’d entered the ninth circle of Hell. Separated from most of his friends, Orlando relied even more on Viggo for support. As the days stretched into weeks and shooting continued to wear them down, they kept each other sane. Orlando told him once that seeing how well Viggo handled the ridiculous conditions of the shoot was the only thing that kept him going.
“Can’t have some filthy human out lasting the elf. I have immortality on my side after all,” he had said.
Viggo had laughed tiredly, “Well, the king can’t fall before his subjects, can he? Although Gandalf’s been gone a hell of a lot longer than five days. I’m not sure dawn will ever come.”
The joke Viggo expected never came. Instead Orlando looked at him rather seriously, “Your friends are with you Viggo. Just like Aragorn’s. Don’t forget that.” He kissed Viggo quickly on the cheek before heading off for a touch up.
It was moments like this that made Viggo want to pull Orlando to him and never let go. He wanted to tell Orlando how seeing him smile and tease Brett about being the better warrior was sometimes the only thing that got him through the night. When he rubbed the stiffness out of Orlando’s back, he wanted it to involve a lot more oil and a lot less clothing. When he caught Orlando trying to sleep between scenes, he wanted it to be in his arms. Before long, Viggo starting hanging out with the stunt crew when his feelings got to be too much.
Viggo thought he had managed to hide his feelings, but he was wrong. On the last day of filming, Orlando caught him on the way to his car. “I can’t believe we’re finally done. No more rain and darkness. Glad it’s over, yeah?”
“I think everyone is. I’ve spent less time filming entire movies, but we all survived. What are you planning to do with your time off? I’m sure the hobbits will be glad to have you back.” Viggo figured he’d sleep and paint his way through the next few days, but he was sure Orlando would want to celebrate the end of Helm’s Deep.
“Well, actually I was thinking maybe. . . ” instead of finishing whatever he’d been saying, Orlando leaned up and kissed Viggo.
Viggo responded automatically, leaning into Orlando and parting his lips slightly, before his brain kicked in. “Orlando, what?” he asked pulling back.
“I know you’re attracted to me, Vig. And it’s no secret I think you’re sexy as hell. I thought maybe we’d spend our days off together,” Orlando smiled and all but batted his eyelashes at Viggo.
“Orlando, I don’t understand,” Viggo gestured helplessly into the air before rubbing his eyes. This was coming out of the blue, and he didn’t know what to think.
“It’s not that complicated, but I can demonstrate if you like,” Orlando moved closer to Viggo.
Orlando had flirted with Viggo before, but never like this. He moved back again. “Orlando, we have to work together. This isn’t a good idea.”
“It won’t be a problem; I promise. It doesn’t have to mean anything. I don’t want”
Viggo cut him off there. He didn’t want to listen to Orlando tell him it would only be a fuck. “It does have to mean something Orlando.” He brought a hand up to Orlando’s face but then dropped it. “So, I’ll see you in a few days. Okay?”
Orlando nodded, shoved his hands in his pockets and started to walk away. But then he turned back toward Viggo, “We’re okay though, right? You’re not mad at me are you?”
“No, Orlando I’m not mad. We’re fine. Enjoy your time off.” He gave Orlando a half hearted wave and watched him leave, not moving until Orlando was well out of sight.
Viggo spent more time pacing then painting over the next few days. He was frustrated with himself for letting his feelings show, and he wished more than anything that Orlando had never approached him. At least before, Viggo had the fantasy that something could happen between them. But now his worst fears had been confirmed, Orlando didn’t want any more from him than he did some stranger in a bar. Viggo gave himself a few days to get beyond all of this. By the time he walked back on set, he was determined to have everything back under control.
Viggo wasn’t naïve enough to think nothing would change between him and Orlando, but he had hoped. On the surface, things were the same. They still talked and fooled around and spent most of their down time together. Viggo doubted anyone else noticed the distance that had crept up between them, but he did. There was a slight hesitation before Orlando touched him that hadn’t been there before. And while Orlando was quieter around Viggo, he was louder the rest of the time. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but Viggo did his best to ignore it and treat Orlando the same way he had in the past.
They continued in this manner long enough that Viggo began to wonder if he’d imagined the slight shift in their relationship. Maybe Orlando had only felt an initial awkwardness at a failed pass, and Viggo had read too much into it. He convinced himself their friendship was as strong as ever and ignored any hints that he was wrong until someone intervened.
They were having an informal cast party at Billy’s one night to celebrate the start of a long weekend. There was enough food and alcohol to keep everyone relaxed and happy. Before long they were spread throughout the house. Orlando, Elijah, and Miranda were dancing in the living room. There was a card game running in the dining room, and Viggo didn’t want to know what was going in the bedrooms. He and Karl were in the middle of watching what was apparently a very important rugby match when Karl went in search of more beer. After a few minutes, Dom took Karl’s place next to Viggo.
He handed Viggo a beer and gave him a long look, “I’m quite pissed at you, you know.”
“What?” Viggo asked startled. He couldn’t think of anything he’d done to upset Dom. He tried to remember the last joke anyone had played on him. “The girl at the bar? That was all Billy’s idea.”
“You think I care about that? I know what Billy was doing. No, this is about Orli.”
Viggo was even more confused. “He seems fine. Is there something wrong?” He looked over to where Orlando was laughing and spinning Miranda in a circle.
Dom shook his head, “I just expected more of you. You were very,” he paused for a minute “gentle in your rejection of me considering we barely knew each other. I can’t believe you crushed him like that.”
Dom had made a few plays for Viggo early on. Viggo had let him know he wasn’t interested, but it hadn’t been a big deal. They ended up being good friends and found they shared a rather odd sense of humor. But Viggo couldn’t imagine what that had to do with Orlando. “Dom, I don’t know what you’re talking about. He kissed me, Christ, once a few months ago. It didn’t go any farther than that; it wasn’t anything serious.”
“Tell that to Orli,” Dom snorted and got up to leave.
“Wait,” Viggo grabbed his arm. “What did Orlando tell you?”
Just then Elijah turned the music up. “I need a cigarette. Come outside with me.” Once outside, Dom lit up and paced restlessly. “I shouldn’t say anything, but you really hurt him.”
“I don’t see how. I know he doesn’t get rejected often, but I thought he understood why.” Viggo was mentally rerunning his conversation with Orlando, and still couldn’t figure out what Dom was talking about.
“It’s partly my fault, you know. He knew you were interested, but he couldn’t figure out why you didn’t act on it. I encouraged him to go after you. What a mistake that turned out to be. Didn’t even tell me what happened until a few days ago. Fuck Viggo, couldn’t you have been a bit more sensitive,” Dom turned and glared at him.
Viggo was getting tired of Dom’s attitude when he was the one who’d had his feelings exposed and then crushed. “Maybe you should have told Orlando I’m not interested in casual sex, especially on set. You could have prevented the whole thing.”
“He knows that Viggo.” Dom was starting to sound frustrated. “Which is why you didn’t have to actually tell him that he wasn’t good enough for more than a quick shag.”
“I would never say something like that to him even if I meant it. Look Dom, I don’t know what you think happened, but Orlando made it very clear he wasn’t looking for anything beyond a nice friendly fuck.”
“That’s not what. . . ” Dom stopped and took a deep drag of his cigarette. “Look, there’s no point arguing a conversation I wasn’t part of. Here’s what I do know; Orli wanted a lot more than sex from you. If you thought that’s all he was offering, there was a misunderstanding somewhere. Probably because Orli was nervous, and who knows what he actually said. Although, I would have expected you to figure that out. So, what did you want from him?” Dom looked at him intently.
Viggo couldn’t have given him an answer if he wanted to. He was too busy trying to process what Dom had told him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” Dom smiled for the first time. “You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
“I’ve got to go. Don’t say anything to Orlando.” As much as Viggo wanted to drag Orlando out of the party and tell him he was sorry, he knew that was a bad idea.
Dom gave him an odd look, but nodded. “I think I’ve interfered enough.”
Once again Viggo found himself spending his off time trying to figure out what to do with Orlando. The easy answer was to tell him there’s been a mistake and see if he was still interested. But too much time had passed for that. Orlando had spent the last few months thinking Viggo didn’t consider him good enough to have a relationship with. Looking back on their conversation, Viggo felt sick. He could imagine Orlando finishing his, “It does have to mean something, Orlando” with “and it wouldn’t mean anything with you.” No wonder Dom had been pissed.
Dom was right about something else; Viggo should have realized how nervous Orlando was and recognized Orlando’s bravado for what it was. He’d cut him off to protect himself, but if he’d let Orlando keep talking, he would have told Viggo what he really wanted. Orlando had a hard time expressing himself when he was nervous, but he eventually said what he wanted to. Viggo had ignored Orlando’s body language something he’d prided himself on learning. He’d let his own fear of being hurt blind him to Orlando’s feelings. And now he had no idea how to fix it.
Viggo spent the next few weeks making sure his friendship with Orlando was really back on track. Viggo hadn’t realized what a poor job he’d actually done of disguising the awkwardness he felt around Orlando. The signs were subtle, a slight tension when Orlando came too close or dropping his eyes when Orlando caught him staring, but he was sure Orlando would have noticed. He found once he relaxed around Orlando, what distance remained between them quickly disappeared leading Viggo to wonder how much of his own discomfort Orlando had been responding to. Before long, Orlando was back to touching him whenever the opportunity arose without any lingering hesitation. Still, Viggo was reluctant to bring up that disastrous conversation.
Sometimes he caught Dom watching him. Viggo knew he was wondering why nothing had changed. But Viggo just didn’t know what to say, how to even broach the subject. Every thing he imagined seemed forced and abrupt. He couldn’t picture himself walking up to Orlando and saying “Remember when you wanted to have sex with me and I turned you down? Let’s pretend that never happened and try again.” Unfortunately, there was no way to move forward without addressing what happened that day. Eventually he decided to start with Aragorn and Legolas. He and Orlando often discussed their characters, and their shared belief that the relationship between them went well beyond friendship. Perhaps Viggo could draw some parallel to his and Orlando’s situation. It wasn’t a great plan, but it was all he had.
Viggo waited until their make-up artists had gone, and Orlando was preparing to leave. “Do you think Legolas ever doubted Aragorn?” Viggo hoped the question sounded casual.
“As a leader?” They had been filming some of the confrontation scenes between Aragorn and Theoden so Orlando’s question made sense.
“No, as a lover. He did marry Arwen after all.”
“I think Legolas knew Aragorn loved him. He could feel it. He never would have stayed unless he was sure.”
“What if Aragorn tried to hide it? What if he hadn’t wanted Legolas to know how he felt?” Viggo wondered if he’d already said too much.
“To protect him you mean, like he did with Arwen? I don’t think Aragorn would have done that. He respected Legolas as a warrior. He would have trusted Legolas to understand and accept the consequences of loving him. Are you worried that we’re overplaying them?”
Viggo ignored Orlando’s last question. Acting wasn’t a concern right now. “Maybe he was trying to protect himself?” Viggo wondered if Orlando could hear his heart beating. It sounded unnaturally loud to him.
“Viggo, what are you trying to say?” Viggo could tell by the look on Orlando’s face that he was starting to understand this conversation had very little to do with Aragorn and Legolas.
“I’m trying to say that I’m sorry for fucking this up. I was too afraid of getting hurt to listen to you. And I let you think”
“Don’t,” Orlando cut him off angrily. He turned away from Viggo, but he could read the tension in the set of his shoulders. “I don’t want to talk about this. We were supposed to forget it ever happened. It was stupid; I was stupid.”
“No, Orlando look at me.” When he didn’t turn, Viggo moved to stand in front of him. “I’ve wanted you, loved you for so long, but it was easier not to try. And then that day, I thought all you wanted was sex. I couldn’t be with you for a night and then let you go.”
“You said I wouldn’t mean anything to you,” hurt had replaced the anger in Orlando’s voice.
“I was trying to tell you that it would mean something at least to me.” Viggo paused trying to find the right words. “I knew I would give you my heart, and I didn’t think you wanted it.”
Whatever Orlando was about to say was cut off by pounding at the door. “Orli, hey Orlando are you in there?” Elijah’s voice echoed in the trailer.
“Fuck,” Orlando muttered before opening the door. “Hey Lij.”
Viggo hung back out of sight. He didn’t want to attempt a conversation with Elijah right then, but he could still hear him. “We’re heading out. Some bar Dom and Billy found last week. You coming?”
“Not tonight, I’ve got stuff to do. Have fun.”
“Yeah, sure. Are you okay?” Viggo could hear the concern in Elijah’s voice.
“I’m good. I’ll catch up with you guys at some point this weekend” with that Orlando closed the door and turned back to Viggo, but he remained silent.
“Someone else is bound to come by if we stay here. Come home with me.”
Orlando shook his head. “I don’t think I should.”
“Please Orlando, we need to talk. I don’t want to leave things like this. I’ve let this go for too long already.” Viggo knew their friendship wouldn’t survive another misunderstanding, and he couldn’t bear that.
Finally Orlando nodded, and they headed silently to their cars. The ride home only heightened Viggo’s anxiety. He still wasn’t sure what to say or if there was any hope of the night end well. Orlando, however, seemed a little more at ease by the time he arrived at Viggo’s. After grabbing a few beers, Viggo led him to the living room.
“If you felt about me the way you said you did, why didn’t you tell me?” Orlando spoke quickly not looking at Viggo.
Viggo sighed; Orlando’s avoidance of the word love wasn’t lost on him. “There were so many reasons. This is your first movie, and we’re all living in a fantasy. It would be easy to confuse things. I felt like I would be taking advantage of you, that you might feel obligated to return feelings you didn’t have.”
Orlando shook his head, “Tell me the truth or I’m leaving.”
He should have known Orlando would see through him. “We were friends before I fell in love with you. I wasn’t willing to risk that relationship. It didn’t seem worth it.”
“That’s what I thought.” Orlando stood up to leave.
“Stop Orlando. Listen to me,” Viggo grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. “I don’t mean you aren’t worth it. I just couldn’t imagine you would want me the way I wanted you. You’re so young, and you’re still out looking for a good time. And that’s fine, but you know I want more than that. That day, I didn’t think your feelings went beyond sexual attraction, and that couldn’t be enough for me.” Viggo looked away for a minute struggling again to find the words to make Orlando understand. “I couldn’t be with you and then let you go. There would be no going back for me, and I would lose your friendship too. It seemed better to hold on to what I had.”
“You are so stupid, Viggo.” Despite his words, Orlando’s tone was gentle. “I might be younger than you, but I’m not a child. I’m old enough to know how I feel about you, how I feel when I’m with you. I know it’s special. I would never mix friendship and sex just for the sake of getting off. I’m not that cruel, and I wouldn’t do that to you. I know what I want.”
”What’s that?” Viggo’s throat felt dry, and his voice dropped to a whisper.
“I want to stop talking and trying to find words for something that’s beyond language. I want to show you how I feel, and I want to feel what’s in your heart.” Orlando stood again; this time pulling Viggo up with him.
“Are you sure? You understand what I want from you?” Viggo was afraid to believe.
Orlando only smiled and wove his fingers through Viggo’s. Although this was Viggo’s house, Orlando was the one to lead them to the bedroom. He quickly shed his clothes and gestured for Viggo to do the same. Viggo couldn’t shake the sense of unreality surrounding him. As he lay down next to Orlando, he could only bring himself to ghost his hand over Orlando’s face. Never quite making contact.
“Viggo what’s wrong?” Orlando looked up at him, a million questions in his eyes.
“I just never let myself dream.”
“You should have,” Orlando answered quietly. “But this is no dream, and I want to do more than look at you. Please touch me.”
It was the desire in Orlando’s voice that reached Viggo. He brought his hands down on either side of Orlando’s face and kissed him. There was nothing tentative or gentle in the kiss. Viggo pushed his tongue impatiently into Orlando’s mouth and felt a jolt of pleasure when Orlando responded in kind. As the kiss continued to deepen, Viggo finally understood what Orlando had wanted. They had been fumbling with words they would find later, but right now this spoke so much clearer.
Viggo let go of his doubts and fears and let himself feel. He marveled at the feel of Orlando’s skin under his hands, the taste of it against his tongue. It was not his murmurs of appreciation or desire that communicated the depth of his feelings, but the attention he paid to Orlando’s reactions and the care he took to bring him as much pleasure as possible. In turn, Viggo heard everything he needed to in the passion that lit Orlando’s eyes and the way he lingered on the places that made Viggo gasp.
When Orlando’s fingers drifted below his balls, Viggo leaned into the touch, but Orlando stilled. “I’m good either way; I mean I’m comfortable either way.” Orlando blushed and looked down before meeting Viggo’s eyes. “What do you want?”
Viggo smiled and reached a hand up to feel the heat that crept up Orlando’s face. “I’m good either way too,” he couldn’t resist teasing. “But right now I want to feel you inside of me.” He wrapped his hand around Orlando’s cock as he spoke and couldn’t miss the shudder of desire that ran through his body.
“Fuck Viggo, do you have . . . ?” his voice trailed off as Viggo continued to stroke him.
“Yeah,” Viggo moved to get up, but Orlando held him in place.
“No, let me. Just tell me where.” Orlando returned in record time and resumed his exploration of Viggo’s body.
“Fuck Orlando,” Viggo cried when Orlando’s teeth scraped his nipple.
“Soon, love. Your voice is the most amazing thing. I think I fell in love listening to you talk. And when you’re aroused like this it’s even better. Would you talk to me? Tell me what you want, how it feels.” Orlando bit his lip as if uncertain. “Please?”
Viggo knew as long as Orlando looked at him like that he could deny him nothing. So he talked. He kept his voice low and quiet, just loud enough for Orlando to hear. He told him how he could still feel the imprint of every touch on his skin. He whispered how smooth and sexy the skin on the inside of Orlando’s wrist was before licking it. When Orlando slid the first finger inside him, Viggo told him how it made him so hard he ached and how he yearned for more.
As he put the condom on Orlando, he told how much he wanted to take him into his mouth and memorize every inch of his cock with his tongue. He told Orlando how he wanted to feel him pulse against his lips when he came, but that would have to wait because right now Viggo just wanted Orlando to fuck him. He struggled to tell Orlando how incredibly good it felt to have him inside his body and how when Orlando looked at him with a mix of lust and awe, he knew it was so much more than sex. Viggo should have felt vulnerable sharing so much of his feelings, but with Orlando it felt right. Soon he was reduced to pleading with Orlando to go faster, deeper and to please, please touch him. Then it was all he could do to shout Orlando’s name as he came. A few moments later Viggo heard his own name come in strangled gasps from Orlando’s lips.
Once speaking was again an option, Viggo turned to Orlando. “I can’t believe I almost missed this,” he said as he lightly stroked Orlando’s chest.
“If I’d known, I would have just jumped you in the parking lot and left the explanations for later. Is it always like this with you?”
“No, but I think it will be with us.” Viggo tried to look serious, but failed. “Just think of how much better we’ll get with practice.”
“As long as you promise to keep talking like you did today, I may never leave your bed.”
“That would be fine with me,” Viggo kissed Orlando’s forehead as he settled against Viggo’s chest. He would keep Orlando here forever he thought as he drifted off to sleep.
They did eventually leave the bed, but they spent the entire weekend together. Orlando dodged calls from Elijah and Dom while Viggo politely declined Ian’s dinner invitation. Each time they made love it was different. Sometimes there was laughter and teasing. Sometimes it seemed to last for hours and was filled with reverence and care. But it could also be quick and needy when they were consumed by raw desire.
They also found the words that had eluded them previously. They spoke of love and expectation and commitment. Viggo finally began to understand that Orlando could want the same things he did. And he hoped he was able to convey to Orlando how his feeling stemmed from the person Orlando was not just how he looked, that he wanted the trust and comfort they had built through friendship to grow stronger. In those few days, they began to figure out who they would be together.
By the time they returned to the set, it would have been impossible for anyone to miss the change in their relationship. They made no attempt to hide their feelings knowing they would have failed miserably. For the most part everyone took it in stride. As Viggo was reminded, actors are an observant bunch only turning a blind eye when necessary. He was told by more than one person that he was a fool for thinking he could hide his feelings for Orlando, and even worse, a blind fool for not realizing they were returned.
Miranda had jokingly complained that, “Poor Eowyn really has her work cut out for her. Now there is someone else claiming the king’s heart.”
Orlando, as Legolas, had gone over and kissed her on the cheek. “Sorry, beautiful, but you never had a chance. I used my Elvin magic on him, and he’s all mine now.”
Shooting was almost done for the night when Dom approached Viggo. “All is forgiven,” he said patting Viggo on the shoulder.
Viggo’s eyes drifted to Orlando as he answered, “Yes, it is.” The he turned and smiled at Dom. “Thank you.”
“Glad to be of service,” Dom replied in Merry’s voice sweeping his arm out and bowing in a grand gesture. “I’m always looking for a happy ending.”
Viggo was tempted to tell him they were a long way from a happy ending, but just then Orlando smiled at him. So Viggo kept silent and let himself believe.
Title: Forevermore
Rating: NC-17
Summary: What does Viggo do when he realizes he’s fallen in love with Orlando.
Warnings: None
Beta: The fabulous
miss_arielDisclaimer: This is a work of complete fiction. I made it all up and nothing I've written has every happened. I have never met nor do I have any knowledge of anyone mentioned in the story. I have no knowledge of their sexual orientation or private lives. No money is being made from this story.
Credit: Title and lyrics taken from the wonderful Morrissey song “Come Back To Camden.”
Your leg came to rest against mine
Then you lounged with knees up and apart
And me and my heart
We knew / we just knew
Forevermore
Viggo believed in love at first sight, but that wasn’t what happened with Orlando. Actually, he saw Legolas before Orlando. Peter pointed “his elf” out to him on his first quick tour of the sets. He caught a glimpse long blond hair and a flash of a smile before they moved on. But there was no spark, no recognition from him or Aragorn. He would justify the latter by realizing Aragorn’s love for Legolas was so much a part of him that it was just there. A constant steady presence that didn’t demand attention. Viggo refused to dwell on his own lack of insight.
He met Orlando several hours later. He was having too much trouble trying to reconcile the bold young man standing in front of him with the elegant immortal elf he’d seen earlier to feel anything beyond a renewed hope that they’d be able to transform him into a convincing ranger and eventually a king. His initial impressions of Orlando were superficial and didn’t stand out from any of the other ones he formed that day.
Viggo also believed the first touch between two people was often the most significant; your body able to recognize what your heart was too afraid to acknowledge. Yet he felt nothing out of the ordinary when Orlando clasped his hand during their introduction. There was no jolt of electricity, and he had no desire to prolong the touch. Even the first hugs and kisses Orlando bestowed on him inspired no reaction. Casual affection was part of the package with Orlando, and Viggo never read anything into it.
One thing Viggo had learned over the years was how to separate his character’s feelings from his own. So while Aragorn yearned for Arwen and craved the peace he found in her arms, Viggo felt nothing but a sweet affection for Liv. He believed the devotion Legolas and Aragorn shared had as much to do with passion and love as it did friendship, but his feelings for Orlando didn’t cross that line.
No one had to ask Viggo to look out for Orlando, to help him adjust to his first movie shoot. It was no accident that they shared a make-up trailer, and Viggo understood what Peter was hoping for. Orlando was close with the hobbits, but they appeared to mainly be social support for him. Viggo knew any of them would be happy to give Orlando advice or a shoulder to cry on, but Orlando was still young enough to try and hide his vulnerabilities from his friends.
Initially, Viggo was concerned that Orlando would be intimidated by him as he was by John, Sean Bean, and later Ian. But while Orlando knew Viggo was an experienced actor, he hadn’t grown up hearing Viggo’s name. Orlando later told him he trusted his opinion, and Viggo didn’t make him feel foolish for asking for it. Being an American also seemed to help. After watching Orlando reduced to a nervous wreck around Ian one day, Viggo had asked him why he was so flustered.
“He’s been knighted for fuck’s sake,” Orlando had answered as if that explained everything.
“What’s that got to do with talking to him about a scene?”
Orlando had just laughed, “Bloody Americans, you have no sense of tradition. You threw it all out with the tea, yeah?”
Viggo was surprised at how quickly and easily he formed a close friendship with Orlando. On the surface they had little in common, but their personalities complimented each other. Orlando had accepted Viggo’s eccentricies without question, and Viggo enjoyed Orlando’s enthusiasm and often blunt honesty. They could be silly and play crazy jokes on each other, but they were also comfortable being silent with each other. For Viggo, the silence was a surprise but a welcome one. He tended to think a lot before speaking, sometimes stopping in the middle of a conversation. He couldn’t deal with people who needed to fill every moment with words, and Orlando learned to understand that.
Much of their closeness resulted from sharing the trailer. Viggo found people on movie sets adopted certain roles even when they weren’t acting. He had taken on much of Aragorn’s leadership, but also some of his self-imposed isolation. Orlando used constant motion, humor, and insane stunts to hide the nerves and insecurities lurking below the surface. But no one can keep up an act all the time. They both used the trailer as their refuge as a place they could be themselves. That also meant they couldn’t hide from each other. Orlando knew more than anyone just how much Viggo missed Henry, and how often he questioned his decision to leave his son for so long. Viggo caught Orlando berating himself more than once for what he perceived as failures, and Viggo also knew how carefully Orlando hid the physical toll scenes sometimes took on his back. Guarding each other’s secrets helped them grow closer.
There was also something strangely intimate about watching Orlando’s physical transformation into Legolas, and Viggo knew Orlando felt the same. They tended to be relaxed and joking at the end of the day when their characters were removed, relieved to be leaving Middle Earth behind although Viggo always carried part of Aragorn with him. It was different in the mornings when piece by piece they became an elf and a ranger. They were quieter then sometimes discussing upcoming scenes or talking about where they and their characters were in the journey. Looking back, Viggo realized those were the moments he fell in love with Orlando.
While falling in love had been a gradual process, one blinding moment of clarity forced him to face it. Allowing Orlando to convince him to go surfing should have been his first clue. Viggo hadn’t been surprised when the day ended with his surfboard getting the best of him. What he hadn’t expected was Orlando’s reaction. The hobbits were concerned, of course, but once they realized he wasn’t seriously hurt, amusement won out. Orlando, however, convinced the whole thing was his fault hovered and fussed and generally drove Viggo insane.
Later that evening, Viggo had finally had enough. He was sitting on Orlando’s couch an ice pack covering one side of his face and trying to keep track of a restless, babbling Orlando.
“The others should be back with the food soon. Can I get you anything? Maybe a blanket or something to drink? Nothing with alcohol though, can’t let you drink with a head injury.”
“Orlando, please just stop.” Viggo held his hand up. “Peter is not going to fire you, I’m not mad at you, and I promise not to develop an aneurysm. So will you relax?”
“I’m sorry, Viggo. I’ll just leave you alone so you can rest. Just call me if you need anything, yeah?” Orlando ran his hands through what was left of his hair and turned to leave.
“Orlando, wait,” ignoring the pounding of his head, Viggo sat up a bit straighter. “I don’t want you to leave. Just please sit down. Trying to keep track of you is making me dizzy. And no more apologizing.”
“Sorry, Vig. I mean, oh fuck it, I’ll just shut up now.”
Instead of sitting on the couch or one of the other chairs, Orlando sat on the floor next to Viggo. He rested his back against the couch and pulled his knees toward his chest. After a few moments, he relaxed and leaned into Viggo. It was only when Viggo noticed that he’d dropped his own hand to rest against Orlando’s neck that it hit him. He wanted this all the time. Having Orlando this close, touching him felt right. He liked feeling Orlando’s weight against his legs and the heat of his skin under his hand. And he wanted so much more. He wanted to pull Orlando onto the couch with him and lay in his lap so he could look up and memorize the lines of his face and find all the secrets behind his eyes. He wanted to touch Orlando everywhere and find out if all of his skin was as warm and smooth as what he could feel now. More than anything he wanted Orlando’s lips. He wanted to taste them and feel them move across his own body. He wanted them to whisper into each others skin as they made love. But Viggo knew he couldn’t have any of those things. So instead he sat and traced idle patterns along Orlando’s neck and tried to ignore the fact that he was hopelessly in love with him.
Viggo spent the next few days trying to convince himself that his feelings for Orlando were the product of an injury induced haze. Orlando’s continued attentiveness robbed him of the distance needed to make that theory work. The more Orlando fussed, the more Viggo wanted to silence him with a kiss or take him somewhere private and show him just how uninjured he was. But Viggo’s bruises faded, and their friendship returned to its normal state.
Once Viggo accepted his feelings, he had to decide what to do about them. He made the only choice he could; he ignored them. There were a hundred reasons not to pursue Orlando, but the obvious ones weren’t the problem. He wasn’t worried about the age difference; Viggo had lovers much younger and much older than him in the past. Gender also didn’t appear to be an issue. Like many actors Viggo knew, Orlando appeared to be comfortable with both men and women so Viggo wasn’t worried about offending him.
Trust was the biggest obstacle. Orlando trusted Viggo even looked up to him. How easy would it be for him to confuse his own feelings with Viggo’s? Viggo didn’t want Orlando going along with anything he didn’t really want. Onset relationships were usually a bad idea even among experienced actors. It would be too easy for Orlando to get swept up in the fantasy and regret it once filming was over.
When Viggo was completely honest with himself, he had to admit he didn’t pursue Orlando because he knew it wouldn’t end well. He was simply protecting himself from being hurt. Trying to make their relationship more than it was could only be a disaster. As cliché as it sounded, he and Orlando really were in different places in their lives. Orlando was having a good time in New Zealand. He and the hobbits like to party, and while Orlando’s social life wasn’t as active as some of the rumors Viggo heard, he didn’t always go home alone. He had never given Viggo any indication he was interested in anything beyond the odd night here and there. Orlando wasn’t looking for a relationship, and Viggo had moved beyond casual a long time ago. He couldn’t risk giving Orlando his heart and receiving only his body in return. He wouldn’t give up their friendship for something that could never be.
Refusing to act on his feelings was much easier in theory. Watching Orlando flirt with the cast and crew became pure torture. And the friendly hugs and kisses Orlando showered him with tested his resolve daily. Then Helm’s Deep started, and Viggo was certain he’d entered the ninth circle of Hell. Separated from most of his friends, Orlando relied even more on Viggo for support. As the days stretched into weeks and shooting continued to wear them down, they kept each other sane. Orlando told him once that seeing how well Viggo handled the ridiculous conditions of the shoot was the only thing that kept him going.
“Can’t have some filthy human out lasting the elf. I have immortality on my side after all,” he had said.
Viggo had laughed tiredly, “Well, the king can’t fall before his subjects, can he? Although Gandalf’s been gone a hell of a lot longer than five days. I’m not sure dawn will ever come.”
The joke Viggo expected never came. Instead Orlando looked at him rather seriously, “Your friends are with you Viggo. Just like Aragorn’s. Don’t forget that.” He kissed Viggo quickly on the cheek before heading off for a touch up.
It was moments like this that made Viggo want to pull Orlando to him and never let go. He wanted to tell Orlando how seeing him smile and tease Brett about being the better warrior was sometimes the only thing that got him through the night. When he rubbed the stiffness out of Orlando’s back, he wanted it to involve a lot more oil and a lot less clothing. When he caught Orlando trying to sleep between scenes, he wanted it to be in his arms. Before long, Viggo starting hanging out with the stunt crew when his feelings got to be too much.
Viggo thought he had managed to hide his feelings, but he was wrong. On the last day of filming, Orlando caught him on the way to his car. “I can’t believe we’re finally done. No more rain and darkness. Glad it’s over, yeah?”
“I think everyone is. I’ve spent less time filming entire movies, but we all survived. What are you planning to do with your time off? I’m sure the hobbits will be glad to have you back.” Viggo figured he’d sleep and paint his way through the next few days, but he was sure Orlando would want to celebrate the end of Helm’s Deep.
“Well, actually I was thinking maybe. . . ” instead of finishing whatever he’d been saying, Orlando leaned up and kissed Viggo.
Viggo responded automatically, leaning into Orlando and parting his lips slightly, before his brain kicked in. “Orlando, what?” he asked pulling back.
“I know you’re attracted to me, Vig. And it’s no secret I think you’re sexy as hell. I thought maybe we’d spend our days off together,” Orlando smiled and all but batted his eyelashes at Viggo.
“Orlando, I don’t understand,” Viggo gestured helplessly into the air before rubbing his eyes. This was coming out of the blue, and he didn’t know what to think.
“It’s not that complicated, but I can demonstrate if you like,” Orlando moved closer to Viggo.
Orlando had flirted with Viggo before, but never like this. He moved back again. “Orlando, we have to work together. This isn’t a good idea.”
“It won’t be a problem; I promise. It doesn’t have to mean anything. I don’t want”
Viggo cut him off there. He didn’t want to listen to Orlando tell him it would only be a fuck. “It does have to mean something Orlando.” He brought a hand up to Orlando’s face but then dropped it. “So, I’ll see you in a few days. Okay?”
Orlando nodded, shoved his hands in his pockets and started to walk away. But then he turned back toward Viggo, “We’re okay though, right? You’re not mad at me are you?”
“No, Orlando I’m not mad. We’re fine. Enjoy your time off.” He gave Orlando a half hearted wave and watched him leave, not moving until Orlando was well out of sight.
Viggo spent more time pacing then painting over the next few days. He was frustrated with himself for letting his feelings show, and he wished more than anything that Orlando had never approached him. At least before, Viggo had the fantasy that something could happen between them. But now his worst fears had been confirmed, Orlando didn’t want any more from him than he did some stranger in a bar. Viggo gave himself a few days to get beyond all of this. By the time he walked back on set, he was determined to have everything back under control.
Viggo wasn’t naïve enough to think nothing would change between him and Orlando, but he had hoped. On the surface, things were the same. They still talked and fooled around and spent most of their down time together. Viggo doubted anyone else noticed the distance that had crept up between them, but he did. There was a slight hesitation before Orlando touched him that hadn’t been there before. And while Orlando was quieter around Viggo, he was louder the rest of the time. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but Viggo did his best to ignore it and treat Orlando the same way he had in the past.
They continued in this manner long enough that Viggo began to wonder if he’d imagined the slight shift in their relationship. Maybe Orlando had only felt an initial awkwardness at a failed pass, and Viggo had read too much into it. He convinced himself their friendship was as strong as ever and ignored any hints that he was wrong until someone intervened.
They were having an informal cast party at Billy’s one night to celebrate the start of a long weekend. There was enough food and alcohol to keep everyone relaxed and happy. Before long they were spread throughout the house. Orlando, Elijah, and Miranda were dancing in the living room. There was a card game running in the dining room, and Viggo didn’t want to know what was going in the bedrooms. He and Karl were in the middle of watching what was apparently a very important rugby match when Karl went in search of more beer. After a few minutes, Dom took Karl’s place next to Viggo.
He handed Viggo a beer and gave him a long look, “I’m quite pissed at you, you know.”
“What?” Viggo asked startled. He couldn’t think of anything he’d done to upset Dom. He tried to remember the last joke anyone had played on him. “The girl at the bar? That was all Billy’s idea.”
“You think I care about that? I know what Billy was doing. No, this is about Orli.”
Viggo was even more confused. “He seems fine. Is there something wrong?” He looked over to where Orlando was laughing and spinning Miranda in a circle.
Dom shook his head, “I just expected more of you. You were very,” he paused for a minute “gentle in your rejection of me considering we barely knew each other. I can’t believe you crushed him like that.”
Dom had made a few plays for Viggo early on. Viggo had let him know he wasn’t interested, but it hadn’t been a big deal. They ended up being good friends and found they shared a rather odd sense of humor. But Viggo couldn’t imagine what that had to do with Orlando. “Dom, I don’t know what you’re talking about. He kissed me, Christ, once a few months ago. It didn’t go any farther than that; it wasn’t anything serious.”
“Tell that to Orli,” Dom snorted and got up to leave.
“Wait,” Viggo grabbed his arm. “What did Orlando tell you?”
Just then Elijah turned the music up. “I need a cigarette. Come outside with me.” Once outside, Dom lit up and paced restlessly. “I shouldn’t say anything, but you really hurt him.”
“I don’t see how. I know he doesn’t get rejected often, but I thought he understood why.” Viggo was mentally rerunning his conversation with Orlando, and still couldn’t figure out what Dom was talking about.
“It’s partly my fault, you know. He knew you were interested, but he couldn’t figure out why you didn’t act on it. I encouraged him to go after you. What a mistake that turned out to be. Didn’t even tell me what happened until a few days ago. Fuck Viggo, couldn’t you have been a bit more sensitive,” Dom turned and glared at him.
Viggo was getting tired of Dom’s attitude when he was the one who’d had his feelings exposed and then crushed. “Maybe you should have told Orlando I’m not interested in casual sex, especially on set. You could have prevented the whole thing.”
“He knows that Viggo.” Dom was starting to sound frustrated. “Which is why you didn’t have to actually tell him that he wasn’t good enough for more than a quick shag.”
“I would never say something like that to him even if I meant it. Look Dom, I don’t know what you think happened, but Orlando made it very clear he wasn’t looking for anything beyond a nice friendly fuck.”
“That’s not what. . . ” Dom stopped and took a deep drag of his cigarette. “Look, there’s no point arguing a conversation I wasn’t part of. Here’s what I do know; Orli wanted a lot more than sex from you. If you thought that’s all he was offering, there was a misunderstanding somewhere. Probably because Orli was nervous, and who knows what he actually said. Although, I would have expected you to figure that out. So, what did you want from him?” Dom looked at him intently.
Viggo couldn’t have given him an answer if he wanted to. He was too busy trying to process what Dom had told him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” Dom smiled for the first time. “You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
“I’ve got to go. Don’t say anything to Orlando.” As much as Viggo wanted to drag Orlando out of the party and tell him he was sorry, he knew that was a bad idea.
Dom gave him an odd look, but nodded. “I think I’ve interfered enough.”
Once again Viggo found himself spending his off time trying to figure out what to do with Orlando. The easy answer was to tell him there’s been a mistake and see if he was still interested. But too much time had passed for that. Orlando had spent the last few months thinking Viggo didn’t consider him good enough to have a relationship with. Looking back on their conversation, Viggo felt sick. He could imagine Orlando finishing his, “It does have to mean something, Orlando” with “and it wouldn’t mean anything with you.” No wonder Dom had been pissed.
Dom was right about something else; Viggo should have realized how nervous Orlando was and recognized Orlando’s bravado for what it was. He’d cut him off to protect himself, but if he’d let Orlando keep talking, he would have told Viggo what he really wanted. Orlando had a hard time expressing himself when he was nervous, but he eventually said what he wanted to. Viggo had ignored Orlando’s body language something he’d prided himself on learning. He’d let his own fear of being hurt blind him to Orlando’s feelings. And now he had no idea how to fix it.
Viggo spent the next few weeks making sure his friendship with Orlando was really back on track. Viggo hadn’t realized what a poor job he’d actually done of disguising the awkwardness he felt around Orlando. The signs were subtle, a slight tension when Orlando came too close or dropping his eyes when Orlando caught him staring, but he was sure Orlando would have noticed. He found once he relaxed around Orlando, what distance remained between them quickly disappeared leading Viggo to wonder how much of his own discomfort Orlando had been responding to. Before long, Orlando was back to touching him whenever the opportunity arose without any lingering hesitation. Still, Viggo was reluctant to bring up that disastrous conversation.
Sometimes he caught Dom watching him. Viggo knew he was wondering why nothing had changed. But Viggo just didn’t know what to say, how to even broach the subject. Every thing he imagined seemed forced and abrupt. He couldn’t picture himself walking up to Orlando and saying “Remember when you wanted to have sex with me and I turned you down? Let’s pretend that never happened and try again.” Unfortunately, there was no way to move forward without addressing what happened that day. Eventually he decided to start with Aragorn and Legolas. He and Orlando often discussed their characters, and their shared belief that the relationship between them went well beyond friendship. Perhaps Viggo could draw some parallel to his and Orlando’s situation. It wasn’t a great plan, but it was all he had.
Viggo waited until their make-up artists had gone, and Orlando was preparing to leave. “Do you think Legolas ever doubted Aragorn?” Viggo hoped the question sounded casual.
“As a leader?” They had been filming some of the confrontation scenes between Aragorn and Theoden so Orlando’s question made sense.
“No, as a lover. He did marry Arwen after all.”
“I think Legolas knew Aragorn loved him. He could feel it. He never would have stayed unless he was sure.”
“What if Aragorn tried to hide it? What if he hadn’t wanted Legolas to know how he felt?” Viggo wondered if he’d already said too much.
“To protect him you mean, like he did with Arwen? I don’t think Aragorn would have done that. He respected Legolas as a warrior. He would have trusted Legolas to understand and accept the consequences of loving him. Are you worried that we’re overplaying them?”
Viggo ignored Orlando’s last question. Acting wasn’t a concern right now. “Maybe he was trying to protect himself?” Viggo wondered if Orlando could hear his heart beating. It sounded unnaturally loud to him.
“Viggo, what are you trying to say?” Viggo could tell by the look on Orlando’s face that he was starting to understand this conversation had very little to do with Aragorn and Legolas.
“I’m trying to say that I’m sorry for fucking this up. I was too afraid of getting hurt to listen to you. And I let you think”
“Don’t,” Orlando cut him off angrily. He turned away from Viggo, but he could read the tension in the set of his shoulders. “I don’t want to talk about this. We were supposed to forget it ever happened. It was stupid; I was stupid.”
“No, Orlando look at me.” When he didn’t turn, Viggo moved to stand in front of him. “I’ve wanted you, loved you for so long, but it was easier not to try. And then that day, I thought all you wanted was sex. I couldn’t be with you for a night and then let you go.”
“You said I wouldn’t mean anything to you,” hurt had replaced the anger in Orlando’s voice.
“I was trying to tell you that it would mean something at least to me.” Viggo paused trying to find the right words. “I knew I would give you my heart, and I didn’t think you wanted it.”
Whatever Orlando was about to say was cut off by pounding at the door. “Orli, hey Orlando are you in there?” Elijah’s voice echoed in the trailer.
“Fuck,” Orlando muttered before opening the door. “Hey Lij.”
Viggo hung back out of sight. He didn’t want to attempt a conversation with Elijah right then, but he could still hear him. “We’re heading out. Some bar Dom and Billy found last week. You coming?”
“Not tonight, I’ve got stuff to do. Have fun.”
“Yeah, sure. Are you okay?” Viggo could hear the concern in Elijah’s voice.
“I’m good. I’ll catch up with you guys at some point this weekend” with that Orlando closed the door and turned back to Viggo, but he remained silent.
“Someone else is bound to come by if we stay here. Come home with me.”
Orlando shook his head. “I don’t think I should.”
“Please Orlando, we need to talk. I don’t want to leave things like this. I’ve let this go for too long already.” Viggo knew their friendship wouldn’t survive another misunderstanding, and he couldn’t bear that.
Finally Orlando nodded, and they headed silently to their cars. The ride home only heightened Viggo’s anxiety. He still wasn’t sure what to say or if there was any hope of the night end well. Orlando, however, seemed a little more at ease by the time he arrived at Viggo’s. After grabbing a few beers, Viggo led him to the living room.
“If you felt about me the way you said you did, why didn’t you tell me?” Orlando spoke quickly not looking at Viggo.
Viggo sighed; Orlando’s avoidance of the word love wasn’t lost on him. “There were so many reasons. This is your first movie, and we’re all living in a fantasy. It would be easy to confuse things. I felt like I would be taking advantage of you, that you might feel obligated to return feelings you didn’t have.”
Orlando shook his head, “Tell me the truth or I’m leaving.”
He should have known Orlando would see through him. “We were friends before I fell in love with you. I wasn’t willing to risk that relationship. It didn’t seem worth it.”
“That’s what I thought.” Orlando stood up to leave.
“Stop Orlando. Listen to me,” Viggo grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. “I don’t mean you aren’t worth it. I just couldn’t imagine you would want me the way I wanted you. You’re so young, and you’re still out looking for a good time. And that’s fine, but you know I want more than that. That day, I didn’t think your feelings went beyond sexual attraction, and that couldn’t be enough for me.” Viggo looked away for a minute struggling again to find the words to make Orlando understand. “I couldn’t be with you and then let you go. There would be no going back for me, and I would lose your friendship too. It seemed better to hold on to what I had.”
“You are so stupid, Viggo.” Despite his words, Orlando’s tone was gentle. “I might be younger than you, but I’m not a child. I’m old enough to know how I feel about you, how I feel when I’m with you. I know it’s special. I would never mix friendship and sex just for the sake of getting off. I’m not that cruel, and I wouldn’t do that to you. I know what I want.”
”What’s that?” Viggo’s throat felt dry, and his voice dropped to a whisper.
“I want to stop talking and trying to find words for something that’s beyond language. I want to show you how I feel, and I want to feel what’s in your heart.” Orlando stood again; this time pulling Viggo up with him.
“Are you sure? You understand what I want from you?” Viggo was afraid to believe.
Orlando only smiled and wove his fingers through Viggo’s. Although this was Viggo’s house, Orlando was the one to lead them to the bedroom. He quickly shed his clothes and gestured for Viggo to do the same. Viggo couldn’t shake the sense of unreality surrounding him. As he lay down next to Orlando, he could only bring himself to ghost his hand over Orlando’s face. Never quite making contact.
“Viggo what’s wrong?” Orlando looked up at him, a million questions in his eyes.
“I just never let myself dream.”
“You should have,” Orlando answered quietly. “But this is no dream, and I want to do more than look at you. Please touch me.”
It was the desire in Orlando’s voice that reached Viggo. He brought his hands down on either side of Orlando’s face and kissed him. There was nothing tentative or gentle in the kiss. Viggo pushed his tongue impatiently into Orlando’s mouth and felt a jolt of pleasure when Orlando responded in kind. As the kiss continued to deepen, Viggo finally understood what Orlando had wanted. They had been fumbling with words they would find later, but right now this spoke so much clearer.
Viggo let go of his doubts and fears and let himself feel. He marveled at the feel of Orlando’s skin under his hands, the taste of it against his tongue. It was not his murmurs of appreciation or desire that communicated the depth of his feelings, but the attention he paid to Orlando’s reactions and the care he took to bring him as much pleasure as possible. In turn, Viggo heard everything he needed to in the passion that lit Orlando’s eyes and the way he lingered on the places that made Viggo gasp.
When Orlando’s fingers drifted below his balls, Viggo leaned into the touch, but Orlando stilled. “I’m good either way; I mean I’m comfortable either way.” Orlando blushed and looked down before meeting Viggo’s eyes. “What do you want?”
Viggo smiled and reached a hand up to feel the heat that crept up Orlando’s face. “I’m good either way too,” he couldn’t resist teasing. “But right now I want to feel you inside of me.” He wrapped his hand around Orlando’s cock as he spoke and couldn’t miss the shudder of desire that ran through his body.
“Fuck Viggo, do you have . . . ?” his voice trailed off as Viggo continued to stroke him.
“Yeah,” Viggo moved to get up, but Orlando held him in place.
“No, let me. Just tell me where.” Orlando returned in record time and resumed his exploration of Viggo’s body.
“Fuck Orlando,” Viggo cried when Orlando’s teeth scraped his nipple.
“Soon, love. Your voice is the most amazing thing. I think I fell in love listening to you talk. And when you’re aroused like this it’s even better. Would you talk to me? Tell me what you want, how it feels.” Orlando bit his lip as if uncertain. “Please?”
Viggo knew as long as Orlando looked at him like that he could deny him nothing. So he talked. He kept his voice low and quiet, just loud enough for Orlando to hear. He told him how he could still feel the imprint of every touch on his skin. He whispered how smooth and sexy the skin on the inside of Orlando’s wrist was before licking it. When Orlando slid the first finger inside him, Viggo told him how it made him so hard he ached and how he yearned for more.
As he put the condom on Orlando, he told how much he wanted to take him into his mouth and memorize every inch of his cock with his tongue. He told Orlando how he wanted to feel him pulse against his lips when he came, but that would have to wait because right now Viggo just wanted Orlando to fuck him. He struggled to tell Orlando how incredibly good it felt to have him inside his body and how when Orlando looked at him with a mix of lust and awe, he knew it was so much more than sex. Viggo should have felt vulnerable sharing so much of his feelings, but with Orlando it felt right. Soon he was reduced to pleading with Orlando to go faster, deeper and to please, please touch him. Then it was all he could do to shout Orlando’s name as he came. A few moments later Viggo heard his own name come in strangled gasps from Orlando’s lips.
Once speaking was again an option, Viggo turned to Orlando. “I can’t believe I almost missed this,” he said as he lightly stroked Orlando’s chest.
“If I’d known, I would have just jumped you in the parking lot and left the explanations for later. Is it always like this with you?”
“No, but I think it will be with us.” Viggo tried to look serious, but failed. “Just think of how much better we’ll get with practice.”
“As long as you promise to keep talking like you did today, I may never leave your bed.”
“That would be fine with me,” Viggo kissed Orlando’s forehead as he settled against Viggo’s chest. He would keep Orlando here forever he thought as he drifted off to sleep.
They did eventually leave the bed, but they spent the entire weekend together. Orlando dodged calls from Elijah and Dom while Viggo politely declined Ian’s dinner invitation. Each time they made love it was different. Sometimes there was laughter and teasing. Sometimes it seemed to last for hours and was filled with reverence and care. But it could also be quick and needy when they were consumed by raw desire.
They also found the words that had eluded them previously. They spoke of love and expectation and commitment. Viggo finally began to understand that Orlando could want the same things he did. And he hoped he was able to convey to Orlando how his feeling stemmed from the person Orlando was not just how he looked, that he wanted the trust and comfort they had built through friendship to grow stronger. In those few days, they began to figure out who they would be together.
By the time they returned to the set, it would have been impossible for anyone to miss the change in their relationship. They made no attempt to hide their feelings knowing they would have failed miserably. For the most part everyone took it in stride. As Viggo was reminded, actors are an observant bunch only turning a blind eye when necessary. He was told by more than one person that he was a fool for thinking he could hide his feelings for Orlando, and even worse, a blind fool for not realizing they were returned.
Miranda had jokingly complained that, “Poor Eowyn really has her work cut out for her. Now there is someone else claiming the king’s heart.”
Orlando, as Legolas, had gone over and kissed her on the cheek. “Sorry, beautiful, but you never had a chance. I used my Elvin magic on him, and he’s all mine now.”
Shooting was almost done for the night when Dom approached Viggo. “All is forgiven,” he said patting Viggo on the shoulder.
Viggo’s eyes drifted to Orlando as he answered, “Yes, it is.” The he turned and smiled at Dom. “Thank you.”
“Glad to be of service,” Dom replied in Merry’s voice sweeping his arm out and bowing in a grand gesture. “I’m always looking for a happy ending.”
Viggo was tempted to tell him they were a long way from a happy ending, but just then Orlando smiled at him. So Viggo kept silent and let himself believe.
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Date: 2005-07-24 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-25 04:03 pm (UTC)